Almost two weeks ago, on September 22nd (the 84th anniversary of Mom’s birthday), after my 6-month follow up mammogram and ultrasound, I was changing back into my street clothes in the dressing room when I heard someone come into the waiting room and call the name “Jacqueline” to be next. Hearing my mom’s name, although […]
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As Ferris Bueller taught us and was part of his famous monologue, from the movie about his day off, which you memorized in elementary school, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” Life has been moving especially fast in recent months and 22 was […]
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It’s your Golden Birthday! A very happy date we got to choose, between that and September 15, 2009, for my scheduled repeat c-section (if I didn’t go into natural labor or my water broke sooner). We picked September 17th in part so you and your sibling Molly, who was born and died 17 months before […]
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Dear Molly, Spring has come again and today it’s been 18 years since you were born and died. It is a big milestone and you are not here. I took a mental health day off work to give myself space to feel how I feel — which includes deep sadness and many other emotions. I […]
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“You okay, within reason?” the mammogram tech asked me, almost rhetorically, each time before tightening the compressor even more on my right breast and telling me to hold my breath. She was apparently really focusing on an area they were concerned about. I was okay (enough) and it still hurt a lot. Today I had […]
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Earlier this year, my therapist encouraged me to “hold a certain amount of mystery and figure out what works for me” in regard to circumstances that I struggle with. I’ll add holding space, tension and ambiguity, as well as gaining clarity/figuring out what matters and is meaningful to me. My therapist has given me variations […]
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