13 years ago I participated in a year-end blog meme for the first time called Rewind 2011, with fun and interesting questions designed to get writers and readers to reflect on our lives in 2011. I did so again the following year, with my Rewind 2012. After that I took six years off, starting up again with Rewind 2018, followed by Rewind 2019, Rewind 2020, Rewind 2021, Rewind 2022 and Rewind 2023. I am always fascinated by how much has changed in my life over the years, as well as the many things that haven’t. I decided to do it again this year and as with my experiences in 2011 – 2023 answering the 35 questions listed below was both interesting and challenging for me.
For 2024 I cleared most of my previous answers from 2023 to start fresh, as it can be tempting to reuse more than a few (which I’ve done in the past and is okay). I did consult posts from social media, blog entries here and even our family holiday letter (that we sent with our card in December) when I felt the need to jog my memory for some questions. I also gave myself grace to not finish it during 2024, hence why I am now sharing it in mid-January (as I did for my Rewinds 2022 and 2023).
If you choose to participate (either on your blog, via a social media post or you can even send me an email with your answers), please let me know so I can read and comment on yours too.
So here goes Round Nine with “Rewind 2024:”
1. What did you do in 2024 that you’d never done before?
I got COVID. In late July, at the tail end of our family’s two week vacation on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, it finally found me. Though we had been cautious since early 2020 when the pandemic began and always stayed up to date with vaccinations, in recent years we did take some risks and I understood that I might contract it eventually. In many ways it was our “Summer of COVID,” with each of us getting the virus at various times (including two of us who hadn’t before). That really sucked.
Around the same time I had COVID, I entered postmenopause, at age 49, after going over a year without getting a period. I had been in perimenopause for many years and in 2022 went 10 months without a period, thinking I was almost there. However, I ended up having two more periods after that, with five and four months in between.
I traveled for work internationally to London, England in early September. I was more than a little excited about this opportunity and overall it was a wonderful trip/experience!
I dealt with a long and ongoing bout with BBPV/vertigo that began on that trip in September, improved a lot with vestibular PT and is still lingering mildly. So much sickness and my dizziness this year curbed our family’s and my activities and adventures, which was disappointing.
We started a big home renovation project in early October that was scheduled to last between four to eight months. Contractors are finishing/building out the attic (including a loft/home office for Bob, a guest room/home office for me and a full bathroom), as well as updating the second-floor bathrooms. It has been a fascinating and challenging experience to live through. We are three months in and likely have one to three months left. Though we worked with contractors in our previous homes on kitchen, bathroom and basement remodels, this is by far the biggest and longest one we’ve ever embarked on.
Bob and I moved our bedroom furniture to our sun room and have been sleeping there, since the project began. It has been a unique and at times magical experience, as the room is surrounded by/mostly windows, which we get to see out of at various times of day. We have a tree outside of the sunroom/in the back of our house which has white lights hung on it year round. The lights are on a timer and it beautiful to get to see them as we are going to bed/falling asleep.
Also, related to the home renovation project, because we are updating the second floor bathrooms, in conjunction with the new one being added to the attic space, since soon after the work began, we have been sharing a single bathroom. It has definitely made us each appreciate having more than one in the past, especially when it comes to using the toilet and showering.
Another thing I did, that was a consistent highlight, was reading old letters out loud with Gail (that my mom/Gail’s Grandma Jacquie wrote to her parents). Mom wrote them weekly starting 1964 and they go until 1995. She spent time in the last years of her life arranging the 30+ years of letters, that her mom/my Grandma Dee saved for her, in chronological order in folders and file boxes. They are such a treasure and we feel so fortunate to have them. Gail and Mom had read some together before she died, mostly from when I was around Gail’s age (in middle school), which is such a special memory for them.
Gail and I have been taking turns reading the letters together since the beginning of 2024 (in chronological order), whenever we can find time, and it has been such a wonderful and meaningful experience for us to share. It has made our grief lighter in some ways, as we get to hear Mom’s voice in our heads so often, through her words.
Updated to add: After initially posting this, I remembered one more thing that I did for the first time in 2024. I went with friends to King Spa & Sauna, in Niles, Illinois. The King Spa website describes itself as, “a unique Korean inspired spa that is known as ‘Jjim-Jil Bang.’ Jjim-Jil Bang spa is one of the many traditional assets that have coexisted in the Korean community. With its own unique cultural blend, the Korean sauna offers great relaxation to relieve stress from the body and mind. The King Spa & Sauna has grabbed the attention of the American media and public with its globally competitive new concept, a concept that provides a family oriented well-being sauna and spa. We offer a complete sauna experience with 9 unique healing sauna rooms, acupressure massage for the whole body, a pool to relax in, and a movie theatre for your entertainment. Renowned for being the largest Asian sauna in the United States we provide the ultimate authentic experience that Korean Spa & Sauna has to offer in the country.”
I had never been to place like this and it challenged my comfort zone. This was especially because in one section of the spa, with hot tubs, a cold pool and a wet sauna, you are separated by gender and naked. I had to psych myself up for that part. My friend, who invited me, was kind and patient in answering my questions in advance, as well as allowing me to shadow her and her friend during my first experience there.
I did really enjoy it and found my time there very relaxing. The dry saunas, which we wore assigned uniforms/shorts and t-shirts in, were interesting and soothing experiences. I also liked being able to take it easy and chat with my friend and her friend, who had been there many times before. We even ate lunch there, as they have a restaurant within. So people even sleep/stay over night there, but we did not. I hope to return, at least once, in 2025.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
As I have shared in previous years, I no longer believe in making New Year’s resolutions, as I know that I can start something new and/or make changes in my life at any time. I don’t think I have to wait for a new year to do so and I also appreciate that it can be motivating to use a new year to jump start our work towards goals in our lives.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Though thankfully no other of my closest family members or friends died, seven loved ones passed away who had a meaningful impact on my life and/or those of my parents (whom I felt moved to represent at their memorial services, when I was able to). I get that this is/will continue to be more commonplace as I get older.
On January 20th, what would’ve been Dad’s 83rd Birthday, H, a friend of Mom’s and Dad’s who they got to know through Mom’s Parkinson’s diagnosis, as he also had the disease for many years, died. I attended his funeral and was very moved by how his family paid tribute to his meaningful life and legacy.
Updated to add: I neglected to mention H’s wife K, who became an especially close friend of my mom’s. Mom would often reach out to K for Parkinson’s related advice, including a recommendation for a new bed and Parkinson’s friendly adjustable frame (that we bought a few months before her death). Also, H, K, my mom and my dad used to ride together weekly to a Hubbard Street Dance Company dance class in Chicago for people with Parkinson’s and their care partners. They would typically have lunch together afterwards, along with others in their Chicago area Parkinson’s community. One time I got join them for the class and lunch afterwards, which I can still picture and was a special experience for me to be included in.
In March, B, one of my parents’ oldest and dearest friends since they moved to Evanston died. They met through Sheil Catholic Center and were in a monthly dinner group for decades. His wife N and he also taught religious education classes with my parents and others in our community, which I appreciated when I was younger. They also have a son who is close in age to me, who I thought was cool when we were kids and adolecents. I have a vivid memory of N and B attending my mom’s wake in July 2023. When they came through the receiving line, B gave me a hug and said some kind words. I was struck by how nostalgic it felt to see him and how comforting it was to hear his voice. B’s memorial service ended up being on Zoom around the time of my trip to London, so I wasn’t able to watch it live. However, I later watched the recording and really appreciated getting to hear from so many of B’s loved ones about how he had impacted their lives for the better.
One of my childhood friends, who was also a talented artist, D, also died in March on the 18th, a little over a month after D shared she would soon be stopping cancer treatments and transitioning to hospice care. D fought breast cancer for almost two years and channeled some of her pain into beautiful artwork. I knew better than to think that she would live longer and still I did. Close to the time that D died, I sent her a few gifts that I thought she and her children might find comforting — a cuddly stuffed animal bunny and book “The Velveteen Rabbit.” Sadly, they didn’t arrive until after her death. I’ve never met her husband or kids, who I am so sad for, and have no idea if they received/kept them. I certainly hope they did. I am curious and also appreciate it’s okay to “let the mystery be, ” which is one of the many lessons I learned this year. I continue to send so much love to all those who were fortunate to know D, as we grieve her death and celebrate her life/legacy. I feel grateful for our friendship (since we met in middle school at Haven) and will continue to think of D often, especially when I see her piece “Many Moons” that hangs over the record player in our living room.
One of our old next door neighbors from our Beverly neighborhood in Chicago, when we lived on Claremont Ave., F, also died in March — He was a kind and funny man, that we enjoyed spending time with, along with his awesome wife C and their three sons (one of whom was born the day before our Sean), during the 8 years we lived there. There is one story in particular Bob and I often enjoy reflecting on/joking about, that F told us a while back, about when he worked for the city of Chicago, was a newer employee and eager to do a good job. F would indicate to his colleagues that he was ready to do whatever was next on their to do list and they would respond with, “Slow down…” (Indicating, that they don’t work fast like that here or something to that effect)! We always picture F telling the story and how he made us laugh. Such memories hit a bit different now and feel bittersweet, as so many things in life do as we get older.
In April, one of Bob’s older extended family members, J, who we used to see annual at family reunions died. She was always so happy to see us and other extended family members at the reunions that she helped to organize. When Sean was little and before Gail was born, J and her husband (who preceded her in death) hosted one of the family reunions on a lake in Tennessee, where they had lived in retirement. It was an especially fun and memorable gathering. J was also one of our biggest fans when it came to our holiday card/letter (especially when it used to be more “brochure-like”) and during the years when we took a break from sending them, she would mention in cards she sent us how much she missed receiving it.
In August, one of my Axe cousins/C’s husband, J, died of cancer. He had not been sick for very long (at least it felt that way from my perspective, though I think it was at least two years or so) and in some ways his death came as a shock to me. I got to spend time C and her family, including meeting J and their two children, as well as seeing C’s mom/one of my dad’s siblings/my Aunt C, over 20 years ago when I was in California for a business trip. C and J made a big and positive impression on me during that visit. When Facebook came around several years after that, I connected with C and J there, which helped strengthen our bond. I loved following their family’s adventures there, which helped me to feel like I really knew them. I am so heartbroken for my cousin C and their adult children, J and K, as they navigate a world without J in it now.
In November, one of our friends from when we lived in Chicago, P — the dad of one of Gail’s childhood friends, K, from Keller School/a community Girl Scout troop, and the husband of her mom/my friend, K, (who I co-led the troop with for many years and volunteered often alongside at Keller) — died unexpectedly. We have so many wonderful memories of P and the G family over the years — from many Keller and Girl Scout events to K’s epic birthday parties, as well as K and P sharing with troop about their careers together — via a Zoom meeting early on during the pandemic. P was a Paramedic Field Chief with the Chicago Fire Department. We got to witness the CFD walk through/salute to P while attending the visitation, which was moving. He will be missed and left a meaningful legacy.
5. What places did you visit?
In my second year as a Career Advisor with Northwestern’s Medill School, I got to take a work trip to Grand Rapids, Michigan, as part of Medill’s awesome travel colleague program. It was in February, during presidential primary season, with a political reporting journalism course.
On our family road trip to Hilton Head Island (HHI), South Carolina in July, we stopped in Brevard, North Carolina overnight. It was an opportunity to explore a small town where we hadn’t been previously and try a new (to us) hike, the Looking Glass Rock Trail.
Then we got to spend two weeks on HHI, one of our happy places, doing so many things we enjoy there, including relaxing and playing at the beach, bike riding, golfing, dining out, spending time with family who live there and going to see Gregg Russell perform under the big oak tree in Harbour Town.
On our way home we stopped in the Smoky Mountains, as we had in 2019, to do one of our favorite hikes there, the Baskins Creek Trail to Baskins Falls and back, with a stop at the old Baskins Creek Cemetery. It may not of have been the best choice for me, only being a few days into having COVID, as I didn’t feel well and the 2.5 hour hike in the southern sunny summer heat made me feel worse. Traveling with COVID also had its challenges, including not being able to go out to dinner (we ordered delivery to our hotel room) and masking when we stopped at gas stations and rest areas. One saving grace is that two of our family members had COVID (at different times earlier in the summer) and another got it at the same time as me, so we determined it was safe not to quarantine from each other, which made things a bit easier.
In September I got to participate in the Medill travel colleague program again, this time chaperoning a trip to London, England, with a Northwestern IMC — Medill Explores: Global Digital Marketing course! Except for getting sick with a bad case of vertigo at the end, it was a wonderful experience. I really enjoyed learning and having adventures in one of my favorite cities in the world, with the faculty member teaching the course and the 15 students enrolled. I also got to have some adventures on my own in London, which was awesome. I went on London Walks, saw musicals and plays and even got to return to Dennis Sever’s House for a guided tour. It was only my second time back since I studied abroad there my spring semester of college in 1996. Previously, I had gotten to return for a short visit in November 2019.
On my first Sunday in England, before the IMC course began, I took an early Southwest Railway train down to Southampton to see and spend time with old and newer friends there. It was a lovely day and so nice to meet members of some of my friends’ families which I hadn’t gotten to previously. I also got to attend the newest and cutest family members’ christening that afternoon. I felt honored to be included. My old friends there, the W family, have felt like my home away from home in England since 1996 (even though we lost touch for awhile there) and I appreciate them welcoming me back, both in 2019 and this year. I had to get back to London for a Sunday Roast supper to kick off the week with the IMC faculty and students that I was there with and, thus, wasn’t able to stay for the celebration afterwards.
6. What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024?
I am resharing the answer I gave last year, as it is something that I am still really working on and intend to continue in 2025:
“The ability to widen/expand my Window of Tolerance through regulating my emotions more effectively. I want to slow down and pause more before I respond/react to outside stimuli, whether those are other people in my life or situations that arise. This idea was introduced to our family by one of the wonderful therapists who helps us to navigate this time in our lives. That therapist also talks about how learning/being able to ‘notice, name and navigate’ our feelings/emotions can be instrumental in better understanding and learning to regulate them in healthy ways.”
7. What dates from 2024 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The 13th of every month, because my mom died on July 13, 2023, especially until the first anniversary of Mom’s death. It’s hard to believe that tomorrow, January 13, 2025, it will have been 18 months/one and half years since she died. As with so many pivotal experiences in life, the passage of time can simultaneously feel like an instant and an eternity.
September 12th, as that is when my vertigo began, and today it has been four months that I have navigating life with a this chronic condition. I am grateful that it isn’t anywhere near as bad as it felt in the beginning and frustrated that it has yet to go away completely.
October 7th, as that is when our big home remodel began. It was also the first anniversary of what happened in Israel, followed shortly by what quickly became a genocide Gaza. I continue to be heartbroken by what Israel and the United States are doing in Palestine and angry that my tax dollars and so many fellow Americans are supporting the ongoing apartheid, death and destruction in Gaza and the West Bank. I read and highly recommend The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917–2017 by Rashid Khalidi which was eye opening and helped me to continue to better understand what happened in that time period, informing where things stand today. It illustrates well what often happens when victors and oppressors get to write the history books and frame the narrative, which leads to people not knowing and/or understanding the truth.
8. What was/were your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Surviving.
I appreciate how dramatic that may sound and it is true. This has been one of the hardest years of my life to navigate, because of my health (having COVID and then vertigo) and parenting (trying to help Sean and Gail learn and grow from their often challenging experiences).
I have had to work really hard on recognizing which the things I do and do not have control over, as well as what is and is not my fault. Also, reminding myself that when I know better, do better.
This year also felt heavy because grief is still very much in the picture, especially related to my parents’ deaths. Though it’s been three and half years since Dad died and one and half since Mom did, my brain still has trouble integrating that reality into my life. They were such huge factors in and influences on my life, I appreciate that it can take more than a few years to get used to a world in which I don’t get to see, speak and spend time with them often.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I am also resharing the answer I gave last year, as it is something that I still struggle with and am working on:
“Allowing dysregulated versions of me to engage with others, especially our children in my role as a parent (see #6). Also, using sarcasm in ways that hurt people whom I love. Sarcasm was discouraged in my childhood home/Axe family and thus it wasn’t a big part of my life until I became an adult. It took me a long time to learn how to understand, appreciate and use sarcasm in my relationships. Only in recent years did I get to a place where I started weaponizing it. That said, I appreciate more now why my parents opted to not use sarcasm much in our household and am working to be more intentional and kind about how I speak to others.”
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes and ugh.
As I’ve already shared, COVID finally got me in July and my symptoms dragged on for almost 6 weeks. The experience sapped my energy and scared me that I might develop Long COVID. I do wonder sometimes if my vertigo could’ve been triggered by COVID, which I have learned can impact the vestibular system.
Having ongoing/chronic vertigo has been extremely frustrating. In the beginning it was really scary, as walking felt like driving a car that was out of alignment. I felt horrible and it took awhile for me to start to feel like myself again. Vestibular Therapy was a game changer, but not as magical for me as I’ve heard it can be for some, in that it hasn’t knocked it out completely yet.
11. What were the best thing(s) you bought?
Our home renovation, which is well underway and will be incredible to see how it evolved from our architects plans to reality when it is complete!
Our two week family vacay to HHI!
My extra activities that I got to do in London, outside of what the IMC course included!
Our family continues to experience great joy through going to live theater, concerts and sporting events. Some of our favorite performances from this year, that various configurations of us saw, were: Death Becomes Her, a Chicago Bears preseason football game, Arrested Development, Pearl Jam, Death of England: The Plays (West End), Operation Mincemeat (West End), Next to Normal (West End), Hadestown (West End), The National, an Illinois football game (with our niece on the MI staff), Steppenwolf Theatre shows (we were subscribers again this year with old/dear friends from when we lived in Beverly/Chicago), Million Dollar Quartet (Stolp Island Theatre) and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child (the touring company in Chicago).
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I continue to be proud of Bob and me for how we have met the many challenges we have faced this year, especially as parents. We didn’t anticipate parenting would be as hard as it is at this age and stage. Also, the way we have managed to juggle/balance our many responsibilities related to parenting, our day jobs and the home renovation project, which have been time consuming and stressful.
Sean and Gail both had challenging years and I admire their tenacity and resilience as they navigate their lives, which often haven’t gone as they hoped, dreamed or planned. It is one of many common life lessons, which no amount of preparation and expectation can really prepare a person for the reality of.
The 17 year cicadas! I wanted to note somewhere in this post that they returned in 2024, but interestingly, none of the questions/categories really fit. So, I opted to share here. I do find their life cycle to be fascinating and worth celebrating. Our Evanston home has a lot of big and old tree surrounding it, which seems to be a factor in how many cicadas emerge and hang out nearby. Thus, we encountered a lot of them this summer! Two of my most vivid memories of them are going for neighborhood walks and finding it difficult not to step on one or more (dead, alive and/or their shells), as well as having drinks with our new neighbors’ while sitting in chairs front lawn (across the street) and cicadas crawling on us and up our legs!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I am adapting parts of the answer I gave last year, as much of it still applies…
The conservative/biased U.S. Supreme Court and how they are using their power to roll back/take away civil rights for women (especially when it comes to making decisions about our own bodies/medical care) and minorities (especially affirmative action). Also, the Israeli and U.S. governments that are funding the genocide in Gaza and Zionists. I continue to be confused and saddened to learn how many people in my orbit that I understood to be progressive, open minded and anti-racist aligning with/supporting the Zionist agenda.
The Republican Party as a whole, their elected officials and those who re-elected Trump. I wasn’t a big fan of Biden or Harris as presidential candidates either, especially because of their support of the genocide in Gaza and not implementing an arms embargo. Though I voted for Harris/Walz, it was reluctantly and I had hoped if they got elected we could organize them to take action and change some of their plans/policies to be more progressive and inclusive.
14. Where did most of your money go? Our house, our trip to HHI, my trip to London and tickets for live theater performances and concerts.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Our family’s HHI vacation, my trip to London and our home renovation.
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2024? Taylor Swift’s newest album, The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology, especially the songs: “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart,” “So High School,” “I Look in People’s Windows,” and “The Manuscript.” I received the vinyl version for Christmas and have been listening to it while working on/wrapping up this post today. Also, Taylor’s Eras Tour setlist (which we listened to and live streamed so many times).
“The Show Goes On” by Bruce Hornsby from 1988, which was featured in the Season 2 Premiere of The Bear. I am not sure that it was on my radar in the late 1980s and it quickly became a goto on my music playlists in 2023 and continued to be so in 2024, especially on our road trip to HHI, as it is on one of Bob’s go to playlists and he did all of the driving.
“Wobble” by V.I.C. from 2008, which I have known and enjoyed dancing to for many years, and yet for some reason this year it became one of my favorites when I want or need to raise my spirits.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder
b) thinner or fatter? thinner
c) richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I had more time to myself. Especially because we’re living at home during our renovation, we are in close quarters and I don’t have much privacy or spaces where I can go to be on my own.
I wish I connected with friends 1:1 or in smaller groups more often. Just yesterday (which is technically 2025) I got to meet a friend for chai and a chat. It had been awhile since I got to sit 1:1 with someone outside of my family who I can trust and truly be myself with and it reminded me how important and meaningful that is to me.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Act/react/respond to others when I was not feeling grounded and emotionally regulated. I am learning the value in slowing down, my therapist says to aim for “25 miles an hour,” and reject urgency culture. I used to think if someone texted, called or emailed me that I owed them a more immediate response. Now I appreciate that unless it is an emergency, most communication can wait up to 24 hours. That is helping me to be more intentional with and grounded in my relationships. In addition, to slowing the pace at which I respond, I am also allowing myself to be more patient in expecting to hear back from those I reach out to.
20. How did you spend Christmas in 2024?
This answer is adapted from a series of posts that I shared on Facebook and Instagram during the holiday season…
Over two months in to our home renovation project, we don’t have a lot of space available for holiday decorations. Thus, we opted not to try to fit our big Christmas tree in the living room and just put up the small one. We picked out some of our best favorite (as Gail used to say when they were little) ornaments and really like how it looks next to the fireplace (we haven’t taken it down yet, as I wrap this up in mid-January). Bob also worked his magic again, hanging lights around windows, on the mantle and over doorways. He even put some around the ceiling perimeter of the sun room, where we are sleeping during the construction (which made the space feel even more magical).
I decorated my parents’ graves with meaningful things, including some that are festitive, which is one of the small ways that help me to cope with how much I miss my mom and dad.
Gail and I won two tickets for the Broadway in Chicago lottery for the Wednesday, December 18 7:00 p.m. performance of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child! I signed up for OpenTable cancellation notifications for The Walnut Room at Macy’s (formerly Marshall Field’s) as soon as I found out on Tuesday (the night before). Within a few hours I was able to snag a reservation for two at 5:00 p.m., so Gail and I could eat dinner by the tree there before the show!
The 2024 decorations at The Walnut Room were a bit less elaborate than in the past and still fun/beautiful. Interestingly, they kept the red overhead lights on the entire time we were there, as opposed to recent years when they would change colors fairly often. We also appreciated checking out the Macy’s holiday windows before going in, which each featured one that spoke to Gail and me. A big teddy bear reminded Gail of a teddy bear my parents had given them years ago that is a favorite of theirs to cuddle with and I enjoyed seeing an orange car, that looked my VW beetle.
A tip, or reminder, for those local or visiting who may want to try to eat there and don’t have a reservation in the future, you can sign up for cancellations and turn on your OpenTable notifications, as they happen fairly frequently. Also, we had to wait in line for 15 minutes just to check in for our reservation, so account for that in your planning. That said, the service was fast and the food very good (as we remembered), though we didn’t feel rushed.
So many things about the holiday season felt bittersweet, including making ginger snap and Toll House cookies, as my Grandma Dee and mom often did. They also help us to feel connected and call to mind special memories.
We appreciated being able to stop at the cemetery where Molly is buried en route to our Benson family Christmas Eve celebration, which was lovely. Bob’s sister and her family hosted us again this year — including dinner, Grandma’s annual Christmas Pageant, opening presents and playing games (a crowd favorite was Herd Mentality).
Christmas morning continues to feel different with each passing year that our kids don’t believe in Santa and we are getting used to a more grown up celebration. We all got some gifts we were excited about. I especially had fun picking out accountant/spreadsheet themed gifts for Bob’s new home office/loft (when our renovation is complete in the new year), that included phrases such as: “Relax, I have a spreadsheet for that,” “A day without spreadsheets is like… Just kidding, I have no idea,” and “Oh… This calls for a spreadsheet!”
My family still humors me with (somewhat) coordinating outfits, which I appreciate. Also, Gail and I found matching cherry necklaces at Claire’s that we bought/wear in honor and memory of Mom/Grandma Jacquie. During the holiday season cherries seemed to be everywhere, which felt meaningful as we miss her so much.
We celebrated Christmas Day with our Axe family and dear friends/H family in Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin at my sister and her family’s home. It continues to feel bittersweet without Mom and Dad/Grandma Jacquie and Grandpa Kevin, who are never far from our minds and always in our hearts.
I am not a cat person (in part because I am allergic to them) and I was so amused on Christmas taking photos of one of my sister’s family’s cats Chase. My favorite shot of Chase was hanging out in their Christmas tree!
I am grateful for a lovely annual holiday brunch with college friends a few days after Christmas at a new (to us) yummy restaurant. Though four of us live locally, it often takes one or more out of town visitors (in this case J from Texas) to bring us together. We missed those who couldn’t make it and are determined to gather/catch up more often in this new year (both in person and virtually).
21. Did you fall in love in 2024?
This is another case where I am going to reshare an answer from my Rewind 2023, with slight edits, as it still fits:
“I (continued to fall) in love with the idea of ‘imagining and practicing new worlds.’ There is a lot more for me to learn about and to unpack with this concept, however in a nutshell — so many systems function in ways that keep marginalized and oppressed people marginalized and oppressed and we have to disrupt the status quo through organizing and working for meaningful and lasting change. We don’t have to wait for new elected officials to be voted in/take office and/or for legislation to pass (though both are also important) to help others through mutual aid and community care. We can start with our internal narratives, being more intentional and kind in how we speak to ourselves. Likewise, we can be more intentional and kind in how we speak to our families, friends and colleagues.
One of my favorite local examples of mutual aid and community care is our Evanston Community Fridges. People donate money and/or drop off food for those in and around our community who are food insecure to take for themselves and their loved ones. There are no questions asked or hoops those who receive the food have to jump through. I wish that our society was set up in a way that no one ever had to go hungry and I appreciate that in big and small ways we can make a difference through things like this.”
22. What was/were your favorite TV program(s)? Shrinking: Season 2, The Diplomat: Season 2, Say Nothing, Trying: Season 4, The Bear: Season 3, Welcome to Wrexham: Season 3, Cobra Kai: Season 6, Heartstoppers: Season 3 and The Morning Show. I am probably forgetting some as our family loves to binge watch TV series together and I may update this if/when I remember more.
23. What did you do for your birthday in 2024?
This answer is adapted from a series of posts that I shared on Facebook and Instagram around the time of my 49th birthday…
On Sunday/the eve of my 49th birthday week, March 3rd, Bob surprised me with flowers from his trip to the grocery store! A running joke-ish in our family/relationship is the (few) number of times that Bob has given me flowers, especially for “no reason,” over the years, in spite of my indicating many times that I would appreciate them many years. At some point I adopted the idea that I don’t have to wait for Bob or anyone to bring me flowers, that I can (and do) get them for myself now and then. That said, I still really liked when Bob showed up with them to kick off my birthday week!
I started the next day, Monday, March 4th, the first of my 49th birthday week, at Evanston Hospital for my annual mammogram. It was my first time back since my mom died there (almost eight months prior) and it definitely felt bittersweet to be in that building. As the mammogram technician was positioning my left breast to get started, she told me to turn my head to the left and I noticed this certificate hanging on the wall, dated September 22nd — which is my mom’s birthday. That made me smile, gave me something meaningful to focus on and helped me to get through one of the easiest/most painless mammograms I recall experiencing.
I appreciated getting to wrap up the eve of my 49th birthday reading some of the old letters out loud to Gail (that my mom/Gail’s Grandma Jacquie wrote to her parents) between 1964 and 1995), as Gail baked and decorated my birthday cake. In the week leading up to my birthday, we made it to when I was born in 1975, which was super exciting (as it took us over two months of reading 10 years of letters to get there)!
Gail put cherries in the decoration on the cake, in honor and memory of Mom, who made so many of my birthday cakes over years, always checking in to ask what kind I wanted first. Gail came up with that tribute/symbol on their own, which is sweet. “Cherry” was Mom’s southern nickname, from our road trips to visit her parents, my Grandma Dee and Grandpa Jack, on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina, after they retired there in 1979. Dad was “Junyer,” Meg is “Ginnie Mae” and I am “Cindy Sue.”
The eve of my birthday, which was also the second anniversary of our move back to Evanston/our new home here, Tuesday, March 5th, was a rough one. As after a big rain and thunderstorm the night before, we woke up to our basement being flooded again (for the second time in a few months and the sixth time in two years, even after having a clean out installed with a partial fiberglass liner in 2023).
Soon after we had 10-ish feet of additional fiberglass liner installed, to hopefully put an end to this once and for all. After so many years of dealing with flooded basements, in every house we’ve lived in, we’ve got cleaning it up down to a science and though it still really sucks, we knew what to do right away and who to call to help us fix it/figure out next steps.
It felt awesome to start my birthday, Wednesday, March 6th, getting to workout, especially after we missed the day before due to our basement flooding.
I feel like I say this every year (because it’s true), cake for breakfast never gets old to me — especially on my birthday!
It was my first birthday since my mom died and, as far as I can recall, the first I won’t get to hear her voice, including her singing “Happy Birthday” to me (often with my dad), as well as get to talk and celebrate with her. I shared some special photos from my early years of Mom and me on Facebook and Instagram. I love how Mom is looking at me and/or how I am looking at her in many of them. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had her as my mom/with me for 48 years and miss her so very much.
I took my birthday off from work (for the second year in a row), which was really nice. Sean also took the day off from CityYear, to have the flexibility to spend more time as a family celebrating.
Highlights from celebrating my 49th, include:
- Going to see Titanic: The Exhibition at Old Orchard shopping center with Sean (I’ve had a lifelong fascination with the Titanic, especially since I did my Haven 8th grade Exploration project on it)
- Sean gave me Pokémon cards with elephant inspired characters on them for my elephant collection
A visit to my parents’ grave at the cemetery (from which I realized I could see the restaurant where we had made dinner reservations for that evening) - A relaxing and delicious family dinner at The Capital Grille at Old Orchard.
- Going to see one of my favorite singers, Glen Phillips (the lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket), perform at Evanston Space with Bob the evening after my birthday on Thursday, March 7th, which was my main birthday gift.
- Two days later, on Saturday, March 9th, we celebrated our Axe family March/April birthdays at my sister’s and her family’s home in Wisconsin. It was especially with our brother-in-law’s mom visiting/in town. Our niece/my March 6th birthday buddy turned 14 and I turned 49, so we put 1 4 9 on the yummy angel food cake after dinner!
24. What was/were the best book(s) you read and podcasts that you listened to?
I read/finished 23 books in 2024 (some I had started in 2023), which was one more than in 2023. However, a few were graphic novels (the awesome Heartstoppers series that Gail introduced me to) and thus faster reads. As I have shared before, I am often reading/listening (via Libro.fm) to more than one audiobook at a time. 15 of the books were non-fiction and eight were fiction. Of the 15 non-fiction books, five were for David Kaib’s socialist/abolitionist Book Club and three were for editor Yadon Israel’s pre-readers club. Of the eight fiction books, five were for another one of the books clubs that I am in (which is more light hearted) that meets via Zoom. I continue to appreciate that the book clubs that I am in move me to read books I might not have otherwise. My two favorite books this year were: What it Take to Heal: How Transforming Ourselves Can Change the World by Prentis Hemphill and The Message by Ta-Nehisi Coates.
I continue to love listening to podcasts and some that I really enjoyed this year include: Scene on Radio Season 8: Capitalism, The Daily, The Ezra Klein Show, How to Survive the End of the World, What Now? with Trevor Noah, Question Everything, Well Now, Becoming the People, Who Killed JFK?, Movement Memos, Ghost Story, Modern Love, Crime Writers On and Cover Series 2: Steakknife.
25. What did you want and get?
For our home renovation to begin!
Our two week trip to one of our “Happy Places” = Hilton Head Island in South Carolina!
To return to London!!!
26. What did you want and not get?
As I shared in last year’s post, we haven’t prioritized some of the trips we’ve been wanting to take to certain locations since before the pandemic began. There are many reasons for this, including initially (in 2020 – 2021) because of our health and safety and then (in 2022) it was more a financial issue because of our move to our new home in Evanston. We still very much want to do a trip to the UK, after the epic trip I had planned for us in August 2020 had to be cancelled and another big destination on our list is National Parks in the U.S. We would also like to make it to Sweden in the not too distant future to visit my childhood friend C who lived here in the States for several years in the late 1980s. C and her family have been back here over the years and have given us a standing invitation that we want to take them up on.
So much of our life in 2023 was overwhelming and I wasn’t sure I had it in me to plan a big trip in 2024. So, as I shared in my Rewind 2023 post, “we are thinking the year we both turn 50 and celebrate 25 years of marriage might be the one that will finally bring our family across the pond together for a very special adventure in the city/country I studied/lived in during the spring semester of my junior year of college in 1996!”
27. What was/were your favorite film(s) of this year?
Wicked: Part 1!
28. Did you make some new friends this year? I made a new friend at work, who also lives in Evanston, that I have a lot in common with. We have only gotten together once for a warm beverage so far and I hope we meet up more in the new year.
I also want to be more intentional in 2025 with reaching out to existing friends to invite them to meet up and spend time together. Bob often reminds me that this age and stage of life makes that more difficult, because of all that we are juggling/holding and that’s okay. I appreciate that affirmation and still want to try to prioritize seeing and catching up with friends when possible.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My family and I being healthier, especially all of us not getting COVID and me not getting vertigo.
As I’ve already shared, that curbed our activities and adventures, which was really disappointing. This included cancelling Gail’s 8th Grade Graduation Party twice (and ultimately not rescheduling), our not being able to attend the 4th of July Parade in our town or host friends for a BBQ that day. It also cut short the time we were able to spend in person with loved ones while on our HHI vacation, as well as kept us from dining out/in restaurants on our way home.
One of the hardest things about the illness and medical conditions that I experienced in 2024 is that they lingered far longer than I anticipated, which meant I had to learn to live with them, instead of having them go away as fast as I hoped and thought they might. It sucks not to feel like myself for an extended period of time, which gave me additional empathy for others who live with chronic, terminal and/or serious illnesses/medical conditions.
Also, while in London, after the vertigo began, which also included nausea and vomiting in the first 24 hours, I missed the last day of awesome activities with the IMC faculty member and students, as well as getting to meet up with an old friend from college (who lives in London with her family) for dinner, as we had planned.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2024?
As I shared last year, I continue to appreciate clothes and shoes that are comfortable, flattering and fun. In the warmer months/seasons, I especially enjoy wearing Birkenstock Mayari sandals, which I have in three different colors. In the colder months/seasons, my go to shoes have become Dansko Clogs. In 2024, especially after I got another pixie cut in November (and donated 8-9 inches), I often felt I was channeling my paternal Grandma Mite, as I really like wearing cute jumpsuits (to work and festive gatherings), which she often did, and my hair looks like hers did (as well as many of my Axe family aunts/my dad’s sisters). Lastly, as cherries (which felt like signs from Mom/Grandma Jacquie, being one of her nicknames) seemed to be everywhere in recent months, Gail and I took to buying and wearing things with cherries on them (including earrings, necklaces, sweaters and socks).
31. What kept you sane?
Reupping my answer from 2023, with slight edits:
“Therapy was huge and I continue to love the one that started with in 2023! Also, connecting with my best friend/partner/husband Bob and some close friends (sometimes in person and often via text/group chats). Listening to podcasts and audiobooks continues to be meaningful to my mental health as well.”
At the suggestion of one of the wonderful therapists in our life, we began having weekly family meetings (they gave us a format to follow, which we have adapted some), that have helped us to communicate more effectively, as well as to plan and prepare for what is to come in the short and long term.
Prioritizing healthy sleep habits — including getting enough (we aim for seven hours on weeknights and eight on weekends) and getting up when our alarm goes off the first time.
Following our daily exercise routine is huge in helping us to feel grounded and sane in the midst of the chaos that we often experienced in 2024.
Noticing how what I consume makes me feel and adjusting (increasing or decreasing my intake) accordingly.
Also, Bob and I took more neighborhood walks than we have in the past, which we both really enjoyed.
Lastly, also related to walking — in recent months, in part for privacy and convenience, I have started doing my 1:1 therapy sessions via phone call, while going for a walk. I did this with a previous therapist at the start of the pandemic and find that moving pairs really well with processing my life and emotions.
32. Which celebrity/public figures(s) did you fancy the most? Mariame Kaba, Kelly Hayes, Prentis Hemphill (they wrote one of my favorite books this year, I got to attend their Chicago stop on their tour to promote it and they host an awesome podcast), Ta-Nehisi Coates (he wrote my other favorite book this year and I want to read more of his writing), David Kaib (I have learned so much from the Abolitionist/Socialist reading group that he hosts and I participate in), Trevor Noah (especially his hilarious and thought provoking comedy specials, as well as his podcast) and Josh Ruebner (an ETHS high school classmate who recently got his Phd and is an expert in the history of Palestine who I learned a lot from reading his word and watching talks he has given).
33. What political issue(s) stirred you the most? See #13
34. Who did you miss?
As I shared last year, I miss my mom and my dad so much. Also, many other loved ones who left this world too soon, including our baby Molly, make my heartache often. That said, my parents’ deaths have continued to eclipse those loses at this stage of my grief.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson(s) you learned in 2024.
I reviewed my answer to this for 2023 and it made we want to print it out and re-read it daily in 2025, as there were so many nuggets that I didn’t think about as much in 2024, as I did the prior year and want to remind myself of more often.
My favorite part, which I am re-sharing from 2023, as it is so important:
“A friend recently shared that they’ve noticed when they feel reactive or cynical, it’s often because they are at capacity/their cup is overflowing. My friend talked about how recognizing those moments is key, especially as white people, and not allowing them to shape our actions. They said that can be some of our most important work in our interpersonal connections, including when it comes being anti-racist and trying to dismantle systems of white supremacy.”
I am pulling out the most powerful words and highlighting them, to take with me into this new year:
When we feel reactive or cynical, it’s often because we are at capacity/our cup is overflowing. Recognizing those moments is key, especially as white people (and people with other types of privilege), and not allowing them to shape our actions.
As I spoke of earlier, slowing down when and how I respond to people, circumstances and communication in my life is key.
My therapist has been working with me on not getting caught up with what may happen beyond three to six months in the future, especially when it comes to parenting, which I appreciate and find challenging at times. She also reminds me regularly that each child and person is like a different type of plant, who needs its own special type of care to thrive.
We are responsible for parenting the children we have not the ones we imagined. That doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids immensely for who they are now and, at the same time, it’s okay to acknowledge we may have hoped or dreamed they might take different paths or make other choices along the way.
Also, I often return to the timeless, “doing the right thing doesn’t always feel good,” lesson that a friend from when we lived in Beverly/Chicago shared with me awhile back.
Thank you for being part of my life in 2024. I wish you and yours a wonderful and meaningful 2025!
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