7 years ago I participated in a year-end blog meme for the first time called Rewind 2011, with fun and interesting questions designed to get writers and readers to reflect on our lives in 2011. I did so again the following year, with my Rewind 2012.
Ever since I did this writing exercise those two years, I have looked forward to the opportunity to do it again. However, the time got away from me and I haven’t done it since. I read through my answers for 2011 and 2012, and was fascinated by how much has changed in my life, as well as the many things that haven’t, over the past 6 years.
This morning, after Bob left early for work (as an accountant/his firm’s Controller, he works late and long hours this time of year, especially on NYE, because their fiscal year-end corresponds with the calendar year) and I slept a bit later than usual, while the kids were still asleep, I enjoyed the quiet in our home and decided to have a go at this again, for 2018.
As with my experiences in 2011 and 2012, answering the 35 questions listed below was challenging for me. Some of my answers came to me quickly and others I really had to think about, but I tried not to spend too much time on it, as we have other things we want and need to do before heading up to my parents’ house/my childhood home to celebrate and ring in the new year later today.
If you choose to participate (either on your blog, via a Facebook note or you can even send me an email with your answers), please let me know so I can read and comment on yours too.
So here goes Round Three of “Rewind 2018:”
1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before? Got certified to teach PiYo, taught PiYo classes, and finished my first knitting project, a bi-colored cowl. I also followed a timed nutrition/eating plan, along with an awesome and intense workout program for 80 days (from January – April), which included not drinking any alcohol. That experience showed me how much I tend to rely on certain foods and drinks for comfort and to cope with challenges at times, and helped me find other ways to deal, which was interesting.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? In recent years I’ve gotten away from making New Year’s resolutions and moved to knowing that I can make positive changes in my life at any time, I don’t have to wait for a new year, month, week or even day to resolve to do so and take action.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but a wonderful friend and her family, who has dealt with secondary infertility and loss for many years, recently was matched with a baby whom they get to care for and will likely adopt, which I am so happy about for both them and the baby.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No, but more and more of my friends’ parents and older extended family members are dying, which is bittersweet. Attending wakes and funerals for my loved ones’ elderly parents is a reminder of the inevitable with my own mom and dad. I am doing my best to make the most of whatever time we have left together, which hopefully is many more years. I also found out about the death of an old friend. Though he actually died 4 years ago, it felt to me like it happened this year, as that is when I got the news and began my grieving.
5. What places did you visit? Riviera Maya, Mexico; Indianapolis, Indiana; and Lake Tahoe, California; as well as many trips to Evanston, Illinois (to spend time with my parents) and Sister Lakes, Michigan (to spend time with Bob’s family during the summer at their Lake House).
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? Better time management and less stuff in our home.
7. What dates from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Abby’s First Communion on May 5th, Sean’s 8th grade Graduation on June 14th, and when I unexpectedly found out about the death of an old friend on July 25th.
8. What was/were your biggest achievement(s) of the year? Helping my parents find a retirement community that is a good fit for them, get on the waitlist to move there eventually, and start going through things in their home to get rid of, save and eventually move with them. Navigating parenting our teenager, which has been more challenging than I anticipated, is also something I am proud of. Finally, getting through an entire year managing my moderate generalized anxiety disorder without medication was a big achievement. Behavioral therapy has continued to help me deal with my anxiety, as well as practicing healthy habits, including prioritizing sleep, mindfulness, being intentional with what I eat, and exercising.
9. What was your biggest failure? As I’ve struggled with for many years, I know I can do better when it comes to time management, as well as keeping our home clean/organized, and getting rid of more stuff. Having a cleaning service bi-weekly helped a lot, but I still want to make more progress here. And going into the New Year we are taking a break from our cleaning service and I am going to try managing on my own. I haven’t done that in a few years, which feels intimidating, but I know I can and will make it work.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? A breast care scare this Fall and a bad bout with constipation/impacted stool that started on Christmas night and plagued me for a few difficult and painful days, as I literally worked it through. Both were reminders of the importance of being proactive with our health care and mindful of the choices we make that can impact our health and wellness.
11. What was the best thing you bought? New couches in our family room and awesome family vacations!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyone in our family and in my life that I know is doing the best that they can with the information/resources they have available to them at any given time. Life isn’t easy and as long as we try to keep open minds and hearts, as well as learn from our mistakes, I think we’re on the right track and worth celebrating! This includes me.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Trump and many in his administration, as well as Republican members of congress and some foreign leaders, who support and enable him and his policies, and fellow Americans who still support what they all are doing, instead of speaking out and against and working to stop them.
14. Where did most of your money go? Outside of basic living expenses, paying bills and savings/investments, family vacations and live entertainment (musicals, plays and concerts).
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Our family trips to Mexico and Lake Tahoe! Seeing our children shine during their milestones this year, including Sean’s Confirmation in January, Abby’s First Communion in May, and Sean’s 8th Grade Graduation in June. I was also really excited that Sean got into all 3 high schools that he wanted to attend (Jones College Prep, ChiArts’s Musical Theater program, and St. Ignatius) and think Jones was a great choice to attend in the end. Finally, I love getting to Sean and Abby perform in musical theater, plays and dance productions, as well as watching Abby swim!
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2018? “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars, “This Town” by Niall Horan, & “Thank U, Next” by Ariana Grande
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? About the same
b) thinner or fatter? About the same
c) richer or poorer? About the same
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Purge things in our home and manage my time better.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Over-think things, instead of taking action/get things done. Also, I tend to over-plan/over-program my/our family’s life. I’d like to do less of that in 2019.
20. How did you spend Christmas in 2018? We spent Christmas Eve, as we do most years, at Bob’s sister and her family’s home. This included his mom’s annual Nativity Play, a yummy turkey dinner, the fun and chaos of the kids opening gifts. We started a new tradition of grown up games to win presents that was fun. Each of Bob’s siblings and their spouses, including Bob and me, chose a game and brough one or more gifts for the winners. Bob and I opted to do the “Oldy-wed Game,” similar to the Newlywed game, with the couples there, all of whom had been married at least 15 years, which was entertaining.
We hosted Christmas Day at our home, including my parents, my sister and her family, and Bob’s parents. We attended 10:00 a.m. mass at St. Barnabas, where I served as a Eucharistic Minister and our pastor gave a great homily. We served a delicious HoneyBaked Ham for dinner and all of us played Apples to Apples afterwards, which is always a blast.
21. Did you fall in love in 2018? I continued to choose to love myself, Bob, the kids and other family members and friends who I care about, even when it was difficult. I also recognized how big our capacity is to love others, including those we haven’t seen in a long time or left this world too soon, while still loving those we see and spend time with more often.
22. What was/were your favorite TV program(s)? This is Us and (more recently) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
23. What did you do for your birthday in 2018? Bob and the kids’ gift to me was getting to go with Bob to see a screening of “Say Anything,” at a theater in Milwaukee, WI, followed by an interview with John Cusack. It’s one of my all time favorite movies and he’s one of my fav actors, at least he was when I was younger. On my actual birthday, we went out to dinner at a new (to us) restaurant, which was nice too, though the food was just okay and we likely won’t go back. I was also following the timed nutrition/eating plan (that I mentioned in #1) at the time, which limited what I ate and drank that day/night, so not the splurging and treats as I might typically enjoy on my special day.
24. What was/were the best book(s) you read? I read/listened to so many via Audible, which I love to do while on the go and getting things done around the house. For fiction, I loved Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín (which the movie that I’d already seen and loved a few times is based on) and I am really enjoying the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling. Abby is reading them too and we are both about halfway through Book 5: The Order of the Phoenix. For non-fiction, White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson, (similar to The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander for me in 2017) was extremely eye-opening and I Thought it Was Just Me (but it isn’t) by Brené Brown and Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach were both validating and healing.
25. What did you want and get? So much! I felt very blessed this year, especially when it came to getting to go on two awesome family vacations. I got to attend a lot of live theater performances, especially musicals (including introducing Sean to The Book of Mormon for his 15th birthday gift), which I love! We continue to subscribe to The Broadway Series at Paramount Theatre in Aurora as a family with my parents, getting to see 4 musicals a year and to the Steppenwolf Theatre Company with another couple/good friends (we opted to see 6 of the 7 plays included in season ticket offerings this year). I also got to see Pearl Jam perform live, with my super fan sister and some college friends, for the second time. The concert was at Wrigley Field and I’d never gotten to see one there. Pearl Jam played my two favorite of their songs, Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town and Just Breathe, which was the icing on the cake!
26. What did you want and not get? Trump to be removed from office. Some people in my life to understand/appreciate/acknowledge what White Privilege and White Male Privilege are, as well as how prevalent misogyny still is in our country and world.
27. What was/were your favorite film(s) of this year? Bohemian Rhapsody (at the movie theater) and About Time (though it wasn’t released this year, we watched it for the first time at home).
28. Did you make some new friends this year? Yes, one that comes to mind I got to sit with at a post-funeral meal, celebrating the life of dear friends’ mother/grandmother. We talked about how we both feel at this stage of our lives, in our early 40s and it was a validating and refreshing new connection to make. I also continue to make new friends through my involvement in local social justice groups trying to make a positive difference for marginalized people in our city, nation and world.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Trump being removed from office. So much of my stress and frustration stemmed from him, those who support and enable him, and the damage he and they are doing to our country and our world.
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? In most cases prioritizing comfort, while re-wearing stuff I’ve had for years, sometimes in new ways, as well as a few new items, usually from Kohl’s and/or Target.
31. What kept you sane? Exercising, writing, and processing/talking through life with Bob, as well as other loved ones. More recently, knitting has really helped me to deal with my fidgetiness, especially while watching TV and movies with Bob or as a family. Also, during the last few months, I’ve found a lot of joy and comfort in revisiting/blogging my London Semester Journals, adding commentary from my current perspective (almost 23 years later). That has also gotten me excited for our planned family trip to London in August 2020, which will be my first time back since I left in May 1996.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Elizabeth Gilbert, best known for her book Eat, Pray, Love, has moved and inspired me with how she has coped with the death of her partner Rayya Elias in January and so openly shared about her grief. Chris Anderson, because of his new The Ted Interview podcast, which Elizabeth Gilbert introduced me to and was the first guest on. I also really enjoy John Oliver from Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and his take on current events.
33. What political issue(s) stirred you the most? Trump still being president and all those who support him/think he is actually doing a good job. Also, working for equity for marginalized people and the #metoo movement, including the whole Brett Kavanaugh Confirmation Hearings and how Christine Blasey Ford was treated, which inspired me to write and share this post, was important to me. Gun control/common sense gun laws and policies, in light of the prevalence of mass shootings and inner-city violence, is also an issue I care about and wanted to see progress/change.
34. Who did you miss? Our baby girl Molly, my grandparents, and other loved ones who left this world too soon.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018. This article about “Midlife Unraveling” by Brené Brown was game changing for me, at this age and stage of my life, being in my mid-40s. In some ways this year I felt like I was going through a mid-life crisis. However, Brené helped me see that what I am feeling is common and not abnormal, as well as that I shouldn’t expect it to end, rather its a new way of life I can learn to adapt to and cope with.
I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year! Thank you for being a part of my life in 2018!
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