I keep having to look at the exact wording, as I couldn’t remember for the life of me, over the past few days.
The phrase was part of a letter that was emailed to me with results, after I spoke with a woman who does scheduling for the breast care center I went to, for a relatively routine ultrasound, on Tuesday.
After my annual mammogram in October was normal, my OB/GYN gave me the option of an ultrasound, because of the density found in my breasts. I opted to be proactive and have one. Because it wasn’t deemed urgent, they fit me in about two months later, which was this week.
The woman from the breast care center called to let me know they wanted a closer look and to schedule my next appointment.
The call was followed by the email with results stating that the ultrasound “showed a questionable finding and the radiologist recommends a diagnostic right ultrasound.”
Yesterday (Friday) morning a nurse from my OB/GYN’s office called. She wanted to be sure I knew they wanted me to do a follow-up ultrasound. I told her I’d scheduled it and for when.
I asked the nurse if she knew more than what the letter I received said and she was able to tell me that they did find a small mass in my right breast. She said it could be a number of things, including a fibroadenoma (a benign breast tumor), a cyst (usually benign fluid filled sac) or something else.
I am scheduled for a targeted/diagnostic ultrasound of my right breast next Thursday morning (12/20).
One of the things that has brought me some comfort and perspective, during this time of waiting, has been reviewing my blog posts about what happened in early 2016, when my first/baseline mammogram (at age 40) led to a lot more, including surgery. I’ve found it helpful to remember what that felt like, including the process that led to my benign phyllodes tumor being diagnosed and removed. I know, especially from that experience, there is a lot of grey area between all clear and breast cancer. So I am doing my best to remain cautiously optimistic and, understandably, feel a bit scared.
I understand that the odds are, in theory, in my favor, but having fallen into “less than 1%” categories more than once, on our journey trying to build our family (with our interstitial ectopic pregnancy and our baby girl Molly’s diagnosis/prognosis/death), I also realize that odds don’t always mean that much.
These are the posts that I wrote, from the time I first shared what was happening, in January 2016, until we got the “all clear” (i.e. it was definitely benign/you don’t have cancer) after the surgery, in March. If you want to read one or more of them, and aren’t super tech savvy, just click on the title of the post (which is a hyperlink and will take you there).
Cutting to the Chase (1/11/16)
Biopsy Day (1/16/16)
Benign Phyllodes Tumor (1/18/16)
What Happens Now (1/26/16)
Second Opinion Day (2/15/16)
A Good Problem to Have (2/16/16)
Asymmetry (2/17/16)
Surgery On Monday (3/18/16)
All Clear (3/26/16)
I share experiences like this openly, as I want others to know/remember we aren’t alone when it comes to health scares and/or other personal struggles (such as dealing with anxiety, grief, infertility, and loss). I know how much being proactive matters when it comes to breast care, and health in general.
We don’t have to talk about these things, but it is okay if we want to and/or find comfort in doing so.
It also helps me to process things when I write and share about them and receive affirmation from those who care and/or have had related experiences.
Please send your positive and thoughts and prayers my way.
I will post an update after my ultrasound appointment on Thursday.
I found this quote by Francesco Guicciandini about hope vs. fear and am trying to keep it in mind this week, as I wait and anticipate.
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