It’s an old song
It’s an old tale from way back when
It’s an old song
And that is how it ends
That’s how it goes
Don’t ask why, brother, don’t ask how
He could have come so close
The song was written long ago
Your Daddy likes to tease me that when I start new traditions it becomes hard for me to veer away, not to mention that Abby and you come to expect them. The last two years your birthday letters/blog posts have incorporated a song in their theme and thus I felt compelled to do it again this time. As you know, these lyrics are from the Road to Hell (Reprise) from the Original Broadway Cast Recording (OBCR) of Hadestown the musical.
In many ways the last 6 months or so have felt like we’ve been on the road to hell, while at the same time there have still been a lot of wonderful things happening in our life/with our family. As I shared in Abby’s 11th birthday letter/blog post a few weeks ago, the first half of your 17th year was mostly how you might have hoped and/or expected it to be. You and our family packed in so many awesome adventures, along with family and friends, before we began distancing, wearing masks and staying home, as much as possible, to be safe/keep our germs to ourselves.
I know this time has not been easy for you, missing out on the experience of attending the last 3 months of your sophomore year at Jones College Prep (JCP) and at least the first 2 months of your junior year really sucks. You had been challenging yourself to be more social and develop stronger friendships at school and then this happened.
It’s a sad song
It’s a sad tale
It’s a tragedy
It’s a sad song
But we sing it anyway
As we’ve joked at times, since we started listening to and loving Hadestown, some aspects of your personality are similar to the character Orpheus. You do have a tendency to “come on too strong” when interacting with others, especially when you are excited about something or someone. That said, your confidence about and enthusiasm for the things and people who interest you are wonderful qualities.
You are getting better at being more self aware and working on your conversation skills, including active listening. Though you haven’t gotten to be with your friends in person much in recent months, you’ve been able to keep in touch with them over the phone and through video chats on Zoom, FaceTime and Google Meets.
Cause here’s the thing
To know how it ends
And still begin to sing it again
As if it might turn out this time
I learned that from a friend of mine
Your braces came off during your 17th year and your teeth really do look amazing! You also got your permit, after completing driver’s ed at school. Though you’ve still got many more (fun and stressful) hours left to log practicing, with Daddy or me riding shotgun, it won’t be long before you get your license.
You didn’t get to take that spring break trip with the JCP Concert Choir to Orlando in April, which I was going to chaperone, that would’ve included stops at both Disneyworld and Universal. Other choir and musical theater performances you’d anticipated being part of also didn’t happen, which is really hard for those, like you, who love to be on stage. We are so proud of how you adapted and embraced participating in virtual voice lessons, theater classes and workshops online, even being in a play on Zoom this summer (that one of your friends wrote)!
I am grateful that Daddy, Abby, you and I really enjoy each other’s company (most of the time), as that has made sheltering at home, for as long as we have during this global pandemic, not so bad overall. Of course we miss being together with loved ones more often and in the ways we were used to before this experience.
We’ve been able to get a lot done around the house and have watch many entertaining movies and TV shows, including: #Hamilfilm, SNL, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, The Circus and binge watching episodes of Homeland, The Newsroom and Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj (which we were bummed to find out was cancelled recently). Most of the latter shows (for mature audiences) we waited until after Abby went to bed, or during one of her dance classes on Zoom, to view.
You successfully got Abby hooked on the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) movies, which you and she are super excited about, and even convinced Daddy and me to watch Iron Man and Black Panther. Not to mention what we’ll be viewing tonight, in honor of your birthday, Avengers: Endgame! We appreciated you showing us the cliff notes/recap YouTube video last night, which helped us to get a better sense of the characters and storylines that precede Endgame. I know you wish Daddy and I were more into the MCU and in some ways we do too. However, as you’ve learned by now, we are not always going to like all of the same things that our loved ones do and that’s okay. It certainly keeps things more interesting when everyone doesn’t have the same passions and world views/perspectives.
As an aside, back in January, before we started staying safe at home so much, we tried an Escape Room for the first time, which you were really amazing at! We all had fun solving the mystery, however watching your mind work quickly to figure things out was as entertaining for Daddy and me as trying to work out the clues ourselves.
We’ve played a lot of golf and card games (especially euchre), went on many family walks and bikes rides, spent more time than we have in the past eating dinner outside in our backyard, and got to go to Grandma and Grandpa Benson’s Lake House in Michigan just the 4 of us twice, which helped make up for having to postpone the big trip we’d planned to take in August to the UK.
We’ve learned to wear masks when we go out in public and/or interact with people in close proximity, something I’d never imagined would be part of day-to-day lives. Being a presidential election year, we’ve spent a lot of time discussing the candidates and issues on the table, which has been fun and gets heated at times, especially when some of us don’t see things eye to eye. I am proud of Abby and you for standing with me, along with many in our community, in support of the Black Lives Matter movement, during the peaceful demonstrations that were held in our neighborhood in June.
I’ve enjoyed having you working out with Daddy and me most mornings, since you started remote learning back in March, with Abby joining us at times too. We’ve also taken on some pretty big puzzles, which you really got into, and I still can’t believe we conquered that 3,000 piece one with 99 Beautiful Places in Europe!
I don’t know what your 18th year is going to be like, especially living through such a difficult and uncertain time. I hope that enough people will vote in the US election next month to unequivocally usher in a new president, so that our country can get back on track or as the Biden/Harris campaign slogan says, “Build Back Better.”
Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of your longtime friend D’s unexpected death from an AVM in his brain. It still feels so sad and surreal that he left this world too soon. I am glad that D and your Keller 8th Grade graduating Class of 2018 was able to donate enough money for a tree to be planted in his honor and memory. The tree is in such a beautiful place and I love that D’s family got a special bench nearby, with his name and important dates, along with the quote from his favorite movie, The Lord of the Rings, “Not all who wander are lost.”
It is bittersweet that the eve of your birthday will always fall on the anniversary of D’s death. I hope that reminds you that most of us don’t know when our journeys in this lifetime will end and thus we can try to make the best of whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, including navigating some of your high school years in the time of of a global pandemic.
At 17, you already know first hand how painful it is to grieve the deaths of loved ones, including your baby sister Molly and old friend D. Those experiences have and will continue to shape the kind, compassionate, unique and empathetic person that you are, as will any future losses you are bound to experience, especially when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and develop close relationships with family and friends.
It’s a love song
It’s a tale of a love from long ago
It’s a sad song
We keep singing even so
It’s an old song
It’s an old tale from way back when
And we’re gonna sing it again and again
We’re gonna sing it again
As in the Road to Hell (Reprise) from Hadestown, we keep singing, even when it is sad, and even when we know how it ends (at least for some of those we love). As long as I am living, I promise I will be here to walk and sing with you.
I feel so very blessed and lucky to be your mom.
Happy Birthday, dear Sean Owen!
Love,
Mommy
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