Gatekpeeing (7th Edition)

by Kathy on July 22, 2012 · 8 comments

in BlogHer, Gatekeeping, Gratitude, Hope, Life, Loss, NaBloPoMo, Sadness, Suicide Prevention

How are you feeling?

What are your plans for tomorrow?

Welcome to the seventh edition of my “Gatekeeping” blog series. I shared the back story of these simple and yet powerful questions in this post.

After the events of this past weekend, I am having trouble getting back into my blogging groove, so it seemed to be an appropriate time/day to do some Gatekeeping here.

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In 2011 I lost two loved ones to suicide. I realize that there is likely nothing I could have done to change the outcome of their lives, but it is something that I struggle with as I continue to work through my grief and try to make peace with these women taking their own lives.

I know that many of us suffer in silence when we are going through difficult and uncertain times in our lives. It doesn’t have to be that way.

I am not asking you to tell me your secrets or your problems, unless you want to of course. But I invite you to check in here periodically (you can also email me or send a Facebook message) and let me know how you are feeling and what plans you may have for tomorrow.

Here’s an excerpt from the post I referenced above called Gatekeepers:

My favorite line in Meg (Hutchinson’s) song (called Gatekeepers) is, “maybe every day, in ordinary ways, we hold each other on, we keep each other here.”

I think that is so profound and it certainly rings true for me.

There have been countless people throughout my life that have been “Gatekeepers” to me. Though I have never seriously considered taking my own life and strongly believe that I will never do so, I have survived some very rough patches where my self-esteem and self-worth were severely challenged. 

I love the idea that in “ordinary ways” we can make extraordinary differences in the journeys of loved ones and even strangers that we meet throughout the course of our day-to-day lives. 

Kevin “the Gatekeeper” Briggs has done so by asking those two simple questions of strangers he has met contemplating jumping (off the Golden Gate Bridge), Meg Hutchinson has done so through her music and song, Bob Edwards has done so with the stories he shares on his radio show and you all have done so for me over the years through your comments here, your caring ways, your love and your support as my readers, fellow bloggers, friends and family members. 

Thank you so very much.

I will be posting “Gatekeeping” blog entries now and then and hope that they will present the opportunity for anyone who reads them who is having a hard time coping with challenges they are facing in life to share. That said, you are certainly welcome to comment about the things you are feeling good about too. I believe that being able to recognize and name the things we are grateful for is essential to help us find peace and joy in our lives. That is part of why I love participating in Lori’s monthly Perfect Moment Mondays.

Sometimes it’s the little things than can help keep us a float when we feel like we are drowning. Just knowing that others care and want to know how we are feeling, as well as being able to think about what we might do tomorrow has the power to help us get through tough times.

Thank you for reading. I hope that however you are doing today that you know there are people in your life (I am one of them) who care about how you are feeling and want to know what your plans, hopes and dreams are for tomorrow and the days to come.

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I will start us off by answering the questions myself:

I am feeling… 

Sad — I am still trying to process and make some sense out of what happened in Aurora, Colorado.  However, that is very difficult when something so senseless happens. I feel so bad for all those who have been touched and broken by this tragedy. I continue to send peace, love, light, thoughts and prayers their way.

Hopeful  — As I shared in my last post, a family very near and dear to my heart is in the process of adopting a baby boy who was born on Thursday. I am encouraged by how things are going with him and everyone involved and look forward to meeting him soon.

Grateful — This weekend we got to spend time with extended family (that we don’t get to see very often) at a reunion. It was really nice to see and hang out with them.

Proud — Our son Sean performed last night and this afternoon in a musical with other kids at our local arts center. He did such a great job, had a blast doing it and it was a thrill to see him in is element on stage!

Honored — Mel chose one of my recent posts, When You Get Little, to highlight in her Friday Blog Roundup this past week! As I have shared here before, every time Mel has picked one of my posts to share about over the years, it has felt like winning a “Bloggy Oscar” to me. So it was a really nice surprise to find out that another one of my blog entries really spoke to her.

My plans for tomorrow are… 

Get organized around the house and finishing unpacking from being out-of-town for the family reunion this weekend.

Do some laundry (which is usually part of my plans everyday or it really piles up quickly).

Take the kids to swimming lessons.

Wait for a Buick Enclave that we will be driving for the next week “on loan” for fun/free to arrive and then move Abby’s car seat, our I-Pass, GPS and other things from our minivan so we can start using it! One of my college friends is a VP at a PR firm and offered us this opportunity. We are actually planning to buy a new car sometime in the next year or two, because ours is almost 9 years old. We assumed we would just get another minivan, but ever since this whole thing came up, we started considering a Crossover SUV, so this should be an interesting experiment. Though if we did get one, I doubt we could afford a Buick.

Probably return to the swimming pool sometime in the afternoon to swim for fun.

Take Sean to Tae Kwon Do class.

Continue to prepare for going to BlogHer `12, which I will be leaving for one week from this Thursday! Having been a SAHM since September 2003, I don’t have a lot of clothes that seem appropriate for this event, so I have played dress up in recent days with my wardrobe trying to figure out what I will be wearing there. I have also bought some new things, which I am excited about.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Winnie July 23, 2012 at 8:09 am

I am feeling…..

Sad and Horrified at the news on tv. In addition to the horror in CO, there were plenty of other sad stories that followed, had to turn off the tv.

Happy/Grateful to see a good samaritan featured on the news for saving a little girls life by catching her when she fell out a window. The local ball club honored him to show their gratitude.

Cranky: It is Monday and I had to go back to work after a 3 day weekend.

Lucky: To have said job when so many others aren’t that fortunate.

Today I will be doing my work, then going home to my hubby. I plan to create a few cards for friends/family in the evening. I also have to start planning what to bring to BlogHer! Plan what sessions I want to take etc.

Thank you for this post. Hope by doing this great excercise people see the good around them…
Winnie recently posted..Not Bob, But Lee The BuilderMy Profile

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2 April July 23, 2012 at 8:38 am

Kathy, either I’m constantly in crisis (a possibility) or you just have impressive timing.

I feel:
Worried, anxious, afraid, because my 15 year old brother has been missing since Saturday night.

Guilty because my depression is improving on the new meds, but how can I feel better when we don’t know that my brother is okay?

Relieved because my family in Aurora stayed home.

Tomorrow I hope I’ll be relieved to hear some good news. I’ll be doing laundry too, and valuing my time with Abby.

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3 Justine July 23, 2012 at 11:33 am

I think I need someone to help me pack for BlogHer ’12 … Would you believe I only own one pair of heels, and one pair of sandals? Ugh.

My husband is away this week, so it’s a crazy week again … with pick up and drop off from camp, CSA pickup, and then he’s back on Thursday but I have an interview … then again, busy is good. I have barely had time to breathe this month! 🙂

And congrats on the Roundup, too … I loved that post, and meant to say so earlier!
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4 April July 23, 2012 at 11:57 am

Relief!! He’s found, safe and okay!!

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5 Kathy July 26, 2012 at 1:03 am

Yay! I am sorry I didn’t get to replying to this and your other comment sooner. Please know that I was thinking about and praying for you and your family. That is a huge relief! (((HUGS)))
Kathy recently posted..Let All Around Us Be PeaceMy Profile

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6 Jjiraffe July 24, 2012 at 2:11 am

I am overwhelmed with questions about what to wear to BlogHer and what to actually DO there? I’m excited to see your panel: that and Martha Stewart are what I am mostly interested in. I’m worried I will be such small potatoes that no one will want to talk to me. I haven’t been this stressed since sorority rush…

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7 RoseAnn July 24, 2012 at 5:31 pm

How do I feel?

Stunned – I live near Aurora, CO and I just can’t believe this has happened. We didn’t live here when the Columbine H.S. shooting happened but I never wanted to be part of the community in this shared mourning.

Loved – We were out of town this weekend and when I came back online, I was touched at the methods online friends had used to make sure I was safe since they knew I live near Aurora. I had to laugh when one friend said she knew I was fine because I’m not the type to attend a midnight showing without telling everyone I know. 😉

Frustrated – I continue to struggle to figure out what type of relationship I can have with my brother that is beneficial to us both.

Frazzled – DH is out of town on business this week and it makes me fully aware of our team functions. It’s only the dogs and myself to take care of but my evenings go by in the blink of an eye.

What are my plans for tomorrow?

Work. Then dinner with a good friend and a movie at home if there’s time between dinner and bedtime (see above about evenings going quicker).

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