Sibling Snippets: Dinner Conversation

by Kathy on July 17, 2011 · 3 comments

in Abby, ALI Community, Bob, Decisions, Family, Infertility, Sean, Siblings, The Future

Sean and Abby posing for a photo last week.

I am taking a short break from packing (only two more days until our big move) to share a recent Sibling Snippet.

One night last week during dinner, which happened to be one of Sean’s favorites (Spaghetti with Italian Sausage), out of nowhere Sean says to me:

“Is Abby the last person that you are going to be pregnant with?”

Bob and I looked at each other and smiled at the seemingly randomness and direct nature of our son’s question.

I answered, “we are not completely sure yet, but probably so.”

Then I asked him why he wanted to know.

Sean replied, “I think Abby would like a sister! Would you like a sister Abby?”

(Which reminded me of recently when we bought our tickets for our 7th Annual Trip to Day Out with Thomas at the Illinois Railway Museum in August and Sean told me that we were going “for Abby!”)

Abby said enthusiastically, “Uh-huh!”

Then Sean commented, “Abby is so cute! She says yes to just about everything I ask her.” Which is adorable and very true lately.

Then I chose to follow up with reminding Sean that “it’s not always that easy to for people, especially our family, to have another child.”

I asked Sean to recall how I have told him before that it was very hard for us to have another baby after we had him. I also told him that sometimes Mommy and Daddy think it makes sense for us to be grateful for having him and Abby in our family and move on with our lives, instead of trying to have more, which we might not be able to do, even if we want to. 

Then, as I often do after explaining some thing like that to our son, I asked him “does that make sense?!”

To which Sean replies “Yes!” and we ended the conversation.

As much as I might have enjoyed “unpacking” the reasoning behind why Sean asked that question and maybe try to find if he really wants another living sibling or if he was just curious and doesn’t feel strongly either way, I resisted the urge to try to keep the discussion going longer than our son naturally wanted to.

I read somewhere or was advised by someone wise a while back that when children ask questions, like our Sean did at dinner, that they aren’t always looking to have a long and/or in depth conversation about the topic and that it is often best to “follow their lead” and only continue the Q and A as long as they seem interested.

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In case you haven’t heard and are interested, I am co-hosting a giveaway (my very first one), with 6 other bloggers and AboutOne on my review blog One of a Kind Reviews. There are 10 prizes that you can be eligible to win and you can enter up to 15 different ways! Click here to find out more and join the party!

Also, if you have not voted already for the Top 50 Mom Blogs on Babble, please consider voting for me and some of the other wonderful bloggers from our Adoption, Loss and Infertility (ALI) Community that have been nominated. Here is My List of My Top Mom Blogs on The Babble Top 50 Mom Blogs List (in alphabetical order). You can click on the names of our blogs below to pay a visit and if the spirit moves you please “like” us on Babble: Creating MotherhoodFour of a Kind, Here We Go AgainOnce a MotherReproductive JeansStirrup QueensThe Kir CornerToo Many Fish To Fry and Write Mind Open Heart

I think it would be awesome to have women who have gone above and beyond to pursue our dreams to become mothers and/or expand their families represented on the list this year.Thank you for supporting us. I know that it would be a huge honor for any of us to make the Top 50, or even the Top 100 (which Here We Go Again and Once a Mother have already done), on Babble’s 2011 list!

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 HereWeGoAJen July 17, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Thanks for the shout out!

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2 Baby Smiling In Back Seat July 31, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Abby does have a sister, just not one that she gets to grow up with. But I know that's not what Sean meant. What a complicated question he asked.

Reply

3 loribeth August 7, 2011 at 1:46 pm

You wonder where they get these ideas sometimes. I like the way you explained it to him. He may not entirely understand now but he will as he gets older. (((hugs)))

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