Friday, 4-5-96
5:15 PM en route from London to Southampton
10:15 AM E-Town
Time is going by at lightning speed now… I have so many things going through my mind from traveling, to finals, and so on…
I have to hand write my London History paper, which is a pain, but it is making me appreciate the technology of computers which I guess I have grown to take for granted!
I still want to finish telling about the awesome Scotland road trip, but first will quickly recap the week! Tuesday Lori went home & saying farewell to her was pretty much the theme of that whole day & a few days prior to it…
I went to daily mass with Jillian & then to the “ISA farewell dinner!” It was at an Indian Tandoori food restaurant & the food was pretty yummy! I had “Tandoori Chicken Tikka Malaysia,” as recommended by Corinne! It was a good choice! I also had some “nan” (basically pita bread…) which was good too & some ice cream (strawberry & vanilla) for desert! I sat in between Rachel & Lauren. I sat across from Mathew & Corinne. I sat near Mel, Paul, Ruth, & Dave Heron. Also the ISA head honcho sat across from us too. So the dinner conversation was very amusing! It was great to hang out & chat & chow w/ everyone! We all stuffed out faces & stuck around for about 3 hrs.! Everyone was mingling & table hopping, it was great! 🙂 There were lots of kodak moments being captured by my study abroad mates, but some how I managed to resist the temptation & not take any pictures! This was a good show of restraint seeing as I am on my 18th role of film! When I was finally ready to head home, so were Ad & Paul. So we all walked home together. They were all syked up cuz they were going gambling later that evening at a casino they’d just joined! At the casino it takes 48 hrs. for new members to get clearance to gamble… so the boys had had all that time to get excited for it!
When we got home I fully intended to work on my History paper. But Lori’s empty side of the room just depressed me… So Ruth & Nick convinced me to come up to Room 12 & hang out w/ everyone! So I did & that was cool. One of my housemates/friends (who isn’t also empathetic) was even being empathetic to my dealing w/ Lori having left!
I turned in early & right before I went to sleep, about midnight, Ad & Paul came by to show me their gambling outfits! They crack me up! Paul has on his new funky blue butterfly collar shirt w a black sports jacket & black pants! Ad had on a suit & tie! They are just too cool for me w/ their stylin’ casino wear!
I have slept so well every night this week… I think it’s cuz my days have been so full by the time I get to bed my mind & body is screaming for rest & so I am asleep very soon after my head hits the pillow!
Today is a beautiful day! I believe Spring has actually sprung here in England… 🙂 Ever since Tues. it has been pretty sunny & plesant temperatures! I am on a National Express coach to Southampton to spend Easter w/ Ron Weasley & his family! It was very nice of them to welcome me into their home for the holiday weekend & I am looking forward to it!
Jumping back to Wednesday of this wk… in the morning I went to the “Imperial War Museum” w/ my history class. It was a powerful place & I really enjoyed it even though war & combat stuff isn’t something I like to think about too often… it is depressing. There was stuff about WWI & II & the Holocaust & Secret wars & Evacuees (children who had to leave England — mostly London — during WWII). I was very moved by all the exhibits I observed there.
Wed. afternoon I went to the Guildhall library to do some more research & photo coping for my history paper. Then I went to campus to get my bus ticket & e-mail.
When I got back to Prebridge my Eurorail pass had arrived! It had come via Fed Ex thanks to my awesome mommy & daddy! 🙂 Receiving it made the upcoming 3 wks. of traveling I will be doing w/ Ruth around the Continent so real!!! 🙂 WAHOO! 🙂
Then Nick & I went to the Apollo Victoria theatre to see “Starlight Express” the awesome Andrew Lloyd Webber musical on rollerskates! Our seats weren’t the greatest & we both have wanted to see it for years… so our expectations were fairly high to begin w/! But, the show was great & the set fantastic! It was slightly kid-like in level of content, but we didn’t mind & were just amazed at how they managed to sing & dance while on roller skates! 🙂
When we got in I turned in almost right away for another good night sleep! Thursday morning I had to be at school by 9AM for a 4 hr. Architecture review/walking tour of London to prepare for our final! Paul was at my door around 8:15 AM & we were off to school. I received a fun letter from Sabrina that morning! She had made an envelope out of a magazine ad w/ a kayaker on it & said it was me! 🙂 I got a letter from Casey & Mike too (it may’ve been last week though… I forget now…)
This week I also got letters from Jake Ryan & Charlotte! 🙂 I got a ton of e-mails too, but pretty much from my usual devoted and dear family & friends… 🙂 None from (a person I was hoping to hear from) though! Hmm…. Last wk. (that person) e-mailed me every day and this wk. not even one. Who knows w/ (that person)?!
As of yesterday, I can’t do e-mail until next Thurs. Unfortunately I was not able to inform all of my friends back home of this, so hopefully they’ll assume I am busy or something…
The architecture field trip was long & tiring but cool in that it really brought together everything we have learned this semester! We went to all the buildings pretty much we have studied & discussed, their creators, styles, & such… It was a great review for the final & fun to get a bit more of an idea how London is layed out (it’s hard to tell sometimes when you take the tube everywhere!). As the class went on many of my mates dropped off till by the end it was just Ruth, Jill, Paul, our Prof. & me! 🙂
Jill, Paul, & I walked down to Big Ben et. al. before catching the tube home since it was such a beautiful day! We ran into Andrew (of Lori & my “Welsh friends”) working at a Newsagent at Westminster tube!
I worked on my history paper that afternoon & then met Jill at Newman for “Holy Thursday” mass at 7:15 PM.
On the way to campus & mass on the tube I had the bible Fr. Tim had lent me this semester. I was praying & reading to get in touch w/ God on the holy day… I chose to read from John about the washing of the feet which I knew would take place that night at mass. (I was reminded of this fall prior to NFK #48 when Fr. John & Judy washed all our — the team’s — feet at the team mass before the retreat… very powerful!)
I also read one of my favorite parts of when Jesus is praying before he is to be betrayed… my ♥ aches for him as he prays “not my will, but yours be done!” I love that line/verse…
As I read I felt my mind drifting… I thought about how I wished I could’ve read at church at Newman sometime this spring, but never had never gotten around to reading once for Fr. Tim first so he could hear me. I realized one can’t do everything & re-focused on my prayer & reading of scripture associated w/ Jesus’s final hours.
When I arrived at Newman & walked in carrying the Bible, Lawrence (of “Growing in Faith” & Canoe Club) was coming down the stairs. He stopped me & asked if I could do him a favor… to READ SOME VERSES! (after the mass in the Seminar Room — which would be set up for workshop during Holy Weekend…) How is that for prayers/thoughts being answered?! When I thought about reading on the tube I wasn’t even asking God, just thinking about it! Pretty cool… 🙂
So anyway, Lawrence showed me two passages from Matthew he wanted me to read! One was when Jesus goes to pray “not my will but yours be one” at Gethsemane & his disciples fall asleep. The other passage was one of the 3 times Peter betrays Jesus.
Jill was happy to learn I was going to read after mass in the worship room after mass where people could pray for as long as they wished after we proceeded in there after mass… She agreed to stay w/ me & pray & listen.
Mass itself was pretty cool too. We sang a lot in Latin & the feet washing touched me a great deal… By the time Yvonne (who finally seemed genuinely nice to me — I use to feel she was sorta stand off-ish), another American (I could tell by his accent), & I were reading I felt really in touch w/ God!
Reading those passages was really powerful… Wow!
When I was done reading I knew Jill wanted to leave… So I prayed for a bit longer & then we quietly excused ourselves… On our way out we stopped to talk w/ Fr. Tim. I learned he would not be around next wk. & realized that I had to say farewell to him… I got all choked up & gave him a big hug & thanked him for everything! I really grew a lot in my faith this semester… and Fr. Tim played a big role in my growth! I thank the Lord for bringing him & the other clergy & students at Newman into my life here… My faith life, which I was able to nurture in a special way at Newman, really got me through the rough times here during my study abroad experience! It also gave me a venue to praise God for the many blessings he has granted me on this journey & every day of my life! Thanks be to God! 🙂
I got back to Pembridge about 9:30 PM. I called Ron W. to work out when he’d pick me up from the bus station today etc. Then I was back to work on my History paper! I worked on it while watching “Platoon” in the lounge from 10PM – 12AM!
Platoon is such a great & moving film… but very disturbing as well! Since I was more focused on my paper than the movie it didn’t get to me as much as usual! I was up late working on the paper & beginning to organize & pack for this weekend!
Packing for this weekend also pretty much entailed going through & packing everything… cuz I am leaving dad’s brown suitcase at Ron’s family’s this weekend & while I travel! So when I go back to London on Mon. night I will take only my big ol’ backpack!
It too me all day today to get myself together, do laundry, run errands, & pack! It was quite an ordeal figuring out what to take & leave etc. But I did — all by myself! 🙂 I did need Mel to sit on my suitcase so I could get it closed! That brown suitcase is fairly temperamental & was a royal pain in my buttox from Pembrige to the Victoria Coach Station! But I made it & hopefully won’t have to deal w/ it like that again if it works out for Ron to take me to the airport when I return from traveling w/ Ruth!
I believe I will pick up a new & bigger “carry on” bag in Southampton this weekend to make all my stuff less cramped…
Ruth’s sister is here visiting. It was nice to meet her. She seems cool, religious, a bit like me in some ways, & even brought Ruth & me “Twizzlers” for our travels! 🙂
Okay, so I made it to the coach & can finally relax… Oh, I bought the “Trainspotting” soundtrack & “Take That’s Greatest Hits” today for myself! They should make for some nice musical memories of my London semester… 🙂
[Noting that up until this point, the entire entry was written in green ink, from my four color Bic pen — which is still my fav/go-writing utensil today. This next paragraph was written in red ink, from the same pen.]
Scotland, Scotland, Scotland… What an amazing & memorable weekend no wonder it has taken me so long to write about it all…
[Noting that I then proceeded to return to green ink.]
Opps! One more thing about this past wk.! Last night I talked to Mom & Dad! Always wonderful to hear their voices… Mom is on Spring Break from school & enjoying herself! Dad took Wed. off & they went to the Art Institute! How cute! Fun, fun! 🙂 Mom said Lori had called while on her layover in Chicago! How cool is that? Mom said she sounded real nice & mentioned our fabulous time in Scotland & my being a bridesmaid… I think that is so thoughtful of Lori to call & fun for Mom to hear her voice & chat etc. 🙂 Mom & Dad & I had some details to work out. It was a long convo & we decided to save $ I would not call on Easter. I did give them the Weasley’s # just in case though… When I said goodbye I did feel sad. I miss them & will miss not spending Easter w/ them… But they will be in my thoughts & prayers as always… and I will be home in a little over a month! 🙂
Oh, yeah! One more cool telephone encounter in the past 24 hrs! I spoke w/ Graham Reed (from Camp last summer — lives in Liverpool) this morning! It was so great to hear his voice & feel terrible I did not contact him sooner this semester… it was so hard to prioritize & keep in touch w/ everyone while here! I wish I could of made it up to visit him in Liverpool! But it looks like he may be in London this coming weekend & we may get to see each other some time on Friday! That would be brilliant if it works out… I sure hope so! 🙂
[Noting that I returned to red ink.]
Well, once again I must put off finishing the account of our Scotland adventure!
The coach is nearing Southampton & I want to sit back, relax, & take it all in for the last 1/2 hr. or so of my trip there!
CHEERS! 🙂
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Note from Present Day Kathy: This was a LONG one! I continue to be amused by how much I used “…” back then in my writing, not to mention exclamation points! However, beyond that I didn’t use as much punctuation as I do today — especially commas, parentheses and dashes. Also I noticed that in 1996 I apparently used Oxford commas and now I do not. That said, it was a journal and not something I ever envisioned sharing as I am doing now.
Also, I don’t recall trying Indian food back then and, not having had it very often since, reading this entry make me want to find and try Tandoori Chicken Tikka Malaysia again sometime soon! We didn’t eat any Indian food while in England last summer, in part because our kids are such picky eaters. If/when Bob and I go back, we’d like to. Also, Chicago has an area known for having really good Indian food which maybe we can check out in the not to distant future.
I have had Indian food several times since working at Northwestern, which I have appreciated. One of the times, in my old role on the program team supporting two professional masters programs (MLDS and MSIT), I worked with international students studying abroad here from India to plan a meal for them to enjoy with their peers. It was such a cool and interesting experience. A favorite memory related to that was when one of the students introduced the buffet items before we began eating, explaining who he had chosen/recommended them. If I recall correctly, he also shared that many Indian weddings are very big (often as many as 500 people) and when you get an invitation, the assumption is that you are welcome to bring more than one guest.
I found my comments about what computers and email (or e-mail, as I wrote it back then) was like in 1996 fascinating. I can only imagine what 21 year old me would think about laptops and smartphones (including the concepts of texting, FaceTiming and social media), not to mention AI! I think I have shared this before in my London Semester Journal reflections and, back then I only had access to email on campus, which was a 30 minute tube ride from where I lived. So different than having everything at my fingertips 24/7 at age 51.
When I started working on this post yesterday (which was Holy Thursday), it took me a little while for the incredible synchronicity to dawn on me. I wrote this journal entry on Good Friday 30 years ago — which included an in depth reflection on how I spent Holy Thursday in 1996. Now, it is Good Friday once again — two days shy of exactly 30 years later! Of course, that led me to consider, compare and contrast what my faith looks like after three decades of living, learning and evolving.
In recent weeks, I’ve been reading/listening to two of feminist theologian Meggan Watterson’s incredible books — Mary Magdalene Revealed: The First Apostle, Her Feminist Gospel & the Christianity We Haven’t Tried Yet and The Girl Who Baptized Herself: How a Lost Scripture About a Saint Named Thecla Reveals the Power of Knowing Our Worth — which have been blowing my mind! Meggan focuses on the women of the early “Jesus/Christ Movement(s),” especially Mary Magdalene and Thecla, before Roman Emperor Constantine took over/made Christianity a patriarchal religion. Meggan also explains what happened to the scriptures that were not “chosen” (over 400 years after Jesus’s crucifixion) to be included in the New Testament, as we know it today. Those scriptures (including many additional gospels) tell a very different story about how we can find answers to life’s most difficult questions (within, as opposed to outside of, ourselves) and the roles that Jesus intended for women and gender nonconforming people to have in life, as well as ministry (including equality and leadership).
I appreciate being able to see how I thought about faith and God back then versus now. At 21, my understanding of “not my will, but yours be done” is very different than at 51. That way of thinking no longer aligns with how I imagine God to be, if they exist. Similarly, back then I believed that God had more influence and control over our lives, which included bringing people into my life and being able answer specific prayers. However, especially after our journey with Molly, I no longer believe in a God that would let our baby die (if they somehow had the ability to intervene). I can’t get on board with a higher power that thinks humans need to learn lessons through allowing their love ones to suffer and die. I definitely attribute little, if anything, to God these days and have a better understanding of my own agency, as well as ability to listen to my own inner voice when it comes to navigating life/difficulties.
I also found it interesting how I mentioned feeling “in touch with God” and things being “really powerful” in talking about my faith journey back then. I still find experiences in life to be moving and powerful, though I connect them less to a God and more to the mystery of life and the universe. At this time, I identify as agnostic — which I think 1996 Kathy would be really surprised to learn, as well as 2006 Kathy. By 2016 I was starting to question my faith and God more, which led me to where I am today.
My growing understanding of high control religions, as well as a God that informs such approaches to life and faith, has been eye opening in the last decade. As with many other areas of life, I have done so much learning and unlearning, which has dramatically changed my view of the history I was taught/socialized to believe since childhood. Once I began to digest that victors get to write and tell more of the stories about what happened — often destroying as much of the other narratives along the way — I realized pretty quickly what I had been missing. That allowed me to transfer that to so many other arenas in life, including faith/religion and government/politics.
There is a concept I’ve heard a lot about in recent years, referred to as “third spaces.” For the first 40 or so years of my life, church and faith based community groups were one of my main chosen third spaces (outside of home and school/work). It was interesting for me to reflect on the third spaces that I sought out and got involved with when I was studying/living in London, especially Canoe Polo Club (more social) and Newman House (more religious). At this age and stage of life, I rarely attend church or connect with people through faith based community initiatives. Most of the last 10 years, as I have become more radical (in the best sense of the term) and progressive, I’ve been drawn to more socialist/abolitionist activist and organizing groups/movements/spaces.
In the last year, I added a new Third Space = iO Theater in Chicago. 49 year old (let alone 21 year old) Kathy would not believe that 50 (and now 51) year old Kathy would fall in love with practicing improv. And, yet, here I am finding so much joy and meaning through “yes/&” with the community I have joined at iO. A contrast that stands out to me when I reflect on how I chose to spend Holy Thursday in 1996 (and most years until the last five years or so), which included going to mass, is where I was last night. I prioritized going to a Level 3 improv make up class (since I wont be at my regular Saturday class this weekend) and attending an improv show to see classmates/friends perform instead. Attending Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil during Holy Week used to be a highlight of my year!
Now, I get as much or more out of being in community with others who value living a life informed by playing together, staying grounded in authenticity and practicing yes/&, as I did when I prioritized attending church and practicing my faith in like-minded communities. To be clear, I always sought out more open minded Catholic/Christian churches/communities to participate in and tried to advocate for change from within (especially when it came to the role of women and more recently gender nonconforming people). However, now even those don’t feel like they fit me or I them anymore.
Moving on, the Architecture course that I took that semester was so cool! I recall loving how many of our class sessions were field trips to see the buildings and styles we were studying/experiential learning! Likewise, many of my London semester abroad courses included such opportunities which left a lasting impression on me.
Some of the time I have been working on this post, I chose to listen to a playlist that I made, based off a music mix on a tape cassette that I made and brought across the pond (to save space, not bring as many tapes). That definitely added to my nostalgia while reflecting and writing here.
Another thing I found interesting in this entry is that I commented on not really knowing how London was laid out, because I took the tube so much in 1996. On my three trips (in 2019, 2024 and 2025) since, I did a lot more walking (in part because I am arguably in better shape now than I was then and enjoy walking more in general) and thus, experienced more above ground and how places are connected.
Lastly, getting to revisit the phone call I described having with my mom and dad towards the end of this entry was a gift — especially since they have been dead for almost three and five years now. It was always wonderful to hear their voices and I loved getting to remember they’d gone to the Art Institute that week together (during Mom’s Spring Break from teaching as a reading specialist in Evanston schools), as that is what Bob and I did last month to celebrate my 51st birthday! Also, it was a bittersweet reminder how expensive it was to call long distance back then — in that that we agreed not to connect on Easter to save money. I love and miss my parents so much, especially on holidays weekends like this. There have been very few holidays in my life that I haven’t connected/spent quality time with my mom and dad, until their deaths. I don’t know that I will ever get used to them not being here and I continue to learn to live without their earthly presence, as I imagine all they would think and say about the world and how I am navigating my life in 2026.
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Reminder: Unless I’ve been given permission to use people’s actual names, in most cases I’ve removed or replaced the names of the real people who were part of my journey/experience there, in effort to protect and respect their identities/privacy in my London Semester Journal entries. I will also not share details that I think and feel are too personal for anyone I interacted with, my loved ones, and me.
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Here’s the back story of My London Semester Journals from 1996, including what prompted me to revisit and decide to share them here in 2018. And here’s a list a list of the entries, which I will update as I share them.
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