Better Off

I’ll never understand why grief hits us the way it does, at any given moment, and I cannot seem to stop crying since I heard the news.

We never got to meet in person and I am still so damn heartbroken.

Cancer really sucks.

I didn’t think you were going to die and as far as I know you haven’t yet, but it’s coming.

You’ve always seemed larger than life to me…

Truly a Wonder Woman, Wife, Mom, Teacher, Friend and Writer/Blogger.

I’m not sure exactly when or how we connected. It was in our early days of blogging, likely via our Stirrup Queen, Mel.

Knowing me, at some point I’ll try to go back and figure it out, as I find comfort in things like that, during times like these.

I remember so many of your incredible blog posts and comments here on mine.

So kind.

So compassionate.

So affirming.

You have touched and opened so very many hearts and minds with your words and through your example, including mine.

I’ve loved following your beautiful family and your journey via Facebook in more recent years, especially when many of us stopped blogging as often and prolifically as we used to.

There’s so much I *should* be doing today, other than this, and yet writing feels like the only way I can work through my emotions and find some peace right now.

I went outside for some fresh air this morning, as I’ve come to do since most days since the pandemic began in March, with my AirPods in and the Indigo Girls Station on Pandora playing (my soundtrack varies).

The first song up was “All That We Let In” and it seems to capture so much of how I feel about you and many of our mutual savvy blogger friends. I also saw a monarch fly by, soon after the song began, which seemed fitting.

When I started my weblog, initially called “Three of a Kind Working on a Full House…,” in April 2007 to share about our journey through IVF with loved ones, before I knew about Caring Bridge and CarePages, I never imagined it would lead me to so many meaningful relationships beyond that of those I knew IRL.

It took me a little while to get used to connecting with those who started off as strangers, some using aliases for privacy, through blog hopping, reading and commenting.

I had been on Fertility Friend and eventually made my way to IVFConnections, prior to blogging, where I found comfort and validation with “cycle buddies,” who were also TTC. However, blogging initially had a different feel to me, more like navel gazing.

That perspective changed quickly for me and I grew to appreciate long form writing and reading in depth about others experiences with infertility, assisted reproductive technology, loss and navigating life in general.

I am better off for much of what I’ve let into my life, especially dear bloggy friends like you.

I am so sad that your journey on this earth is winding down. I hope and pray that you and your loved ones can feel the peace, love, courage and hope being sent your way from so very many who adore you.

Please give my Molly-girl a big hug for me if and when you meet her on the other side, if that’s possible. I find comfort in believing you’ll be together, along with so many other beautiful souls who left this world much too soon.

There’s no question I am better off for having you in my life and will be forever grateful that you let me in to yours.

You’ve been such a blessing to so many.

You will be so very missed and never forgotten.

Rest in peace and power, Kym.

All That We Let In by the Indigo Girls

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

Dust in our eyes our own boots kicked up
Heartsick we nursed along the way we picked up
You may not see it when it’s sticking to your skin
But we’re better off for all that we let in
We’ve lost friends and loved ones much too young
There were so much promise and work left undone
When all that guards us is a single center line
And the brutal crossing over when it’s time

Ooh
(Well, I don’t know where it all begins)
Ooh
(And I don’t know where it all will end)
Ooh
(We’re better off for all that we let in)

One day those toughies will be withered up and bent
The father-son, the holy warriors and the President
With glory days of put up dukes for all the world to see
Beaten into submission in the name of the free
We’re in an evolution, I have heard it said
And everyone’s so busy now but do we move ahead
The planets hurling and atoms splitting
And a sweater for your love you sit there knitting

Ooh
(Well, I don’t know where it all begins)
Ooh
(And I don’t know where it all will end)
Ooh
(We’re better off for all that we let in)

See those crosses on the side of the road
Tied with ribbons in the medium
They make me grateful, I can go this far
Lay me down and never wake me up again
Kat writes a poem and she sticks it on my truck
We don’t believe in war and we don’t believe in luck
The birds were calling to her, what were they saying
As the gate blew open in the tops of the trees were swaying
I’ve passed the cemetery, walk my dog down there
I read the names in stone and say a silent prayer
When I get home, you’re cooking supper on the stove
And the greatest gift of life is to know love

Ooh
(Well, I don’t know where it all begins)
Ooh
(And I don’t know where it all will end)
Ooh
(We’re better off for all that we let in)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update (9/23/20): Thank you for your kind words, love, thoughts and prayers. Kym died today, just after 1:30 p.m. EST. 💔 

Please continue to send love, comfort, thoughts and prayers to her husband, children, mom, sisters and all those whose lives are better for having known/connected with Kym. ❤️