My London Semester Journal I: Monday, February 26, 1996

Monday, 2-26-96
1:08 AM London
7:08 PM E-Town (2-25-96)

Ronald & I finally got to Chinatown at about 1PM. It was great to wander the streets & see all the festivities going on for the Chinese New Year Celebration! I even bought a little paper dragon for a souvenir & a fortune cookie which read, “Keep me and fortune will always be with you!” Ron said, “Keep who?” And I said, “The cookie, of course — Well, at least the fortune…”

My favorite part was following a little parade w/ a dragon that danced w/ drummers & went around to restaurants & flats which had cabbage/lettuce hanging from a window or door, which the dragon would try to get & then eat & spit out! The dancers doing the dragon were awesome & the whole crowd was really into it!

Ron was flirty during our tour of Chinatown following the dragon… I tried to not read too much into it & not flirt too much back, for I just didn’t want this time together to be that way. I am not ready for that w/ Ron now. Not that he is necessarily, but I got those vibes… It’s hard cuz I am attracted to him, but have not really been intimate w/ someone since Chris this summer & want to be sure I wouldn’t be w/ any guy right now just cuz I am lonely! Also, when a friendship brings physical relations into the picture, things get tricky…

After Chinatown, Ron came grocery shopping at Sainsbury’s w/ me. That was fun too & nice to have his help lugging it all home… I really stocked up too, knowing he was gonna be helping carry it all! ☺︎

Then we came back to Pembridge, where I unloaded & put away my groceries & ate dinner, while we chatted. Ron was talking a lot about business & politics, which he seems to know a lot about…

Then we came upstairs to get him all packed & we discussed my visiting he & his family, possibly Easter weekend… Ron also brought up the possibility of our taking a road trip to Scotland before I go home to the States!

I like the idea & told him so, but said I wasn’t sure of my plans w/ Ruth yet.

Then I took him to Waterloo to catch a 6:32 PM train back to Southampton. We had a sweet farewell w/ a nice hug & then I headed off to campus. I checked e-mail & had messages from Mom, Dad, Kelly, & 2 from Ruth (from college/A-Phi)! All interesting, but didn’t have time to write back…

BIG NEWS: Dad talked to Manzel & I for sure have the AUD (Assistant Unit Director) job this summer at Camp Algonquin! WAHOO! I guess Mark even told dad if I call when I get back to the States, he would employ me early to make some extra $! ☺︎

After my quick e-mail session, due to my next destination beginning at 7:30 PM, I went to church. It was a nice calmness & worship time, after having a constant companion for 48 hrs. Ron is great, but being w/ anyone for that long w/ no time to yourself but sleep & showers can wear you out…

When I got home I relaxed ‘smore & read the Bible some.

Then Mel came in to tell me of her fabulous weekend in Spain & from then on my night was just one big procrastination w/ her & Ruth! After hearing all about Mel’s time w/ her friends from home in Spain, I shared about my adventures w/ Ron. Then Ruth & I started planning the details of where we want to travel together etc.

Okay, long night… not too productive, but that’s okay! I need some sleep. No Business class tomorrow cuz H. Peters is in Malaysia on Business.

CHEERS! ☺︎

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Note from Present Day Kathy: It’s been almost three weeks since I shared my last London Semester Journal entry. Between Christmas, New Year’s, a bout with constipation/an impacted stool, and the kids being home on Winter Break, the time got away from me. Like so many things in life, we beget what we beget. When the kids are in school, part of my routine in recent months, as well as a reward for getting things done around the house/on my to do list, has been working on My London Semester Journal entries, with a limit of one per day. I will likely get back to doing so more often, now that the kids have returned to school and their extracurricular activities. In the meantime, it was sort of a nice a break from revisiting my world in the Winter and Spring of 1996, as it did help keep my mind more focused on the present.

This was the second of two entries chronicling my old friend (not his real name) Ron’s weekend visit to London, from his hometown of Southampton, to see and hang out with me. Once again, I appreciate that I/we sought out some fun and interesting things to do that weekend. I’ve never attended a Chinese New Year celebration in Chicago’s Chinatown, though this entry made me want to and maybe bring the kids sometime. Ironically, since I started working on this post, I got an email from a fellow local Girl Scout troop leader mentioning a possible group outing there. So I may end up taking Abby and her Brownie troop that I co-lead there next month.

I think when we are traveling we tend to have adventures we might not in our own hometowns/backyards. Though, I do believe my experience abroad wet my appetite for seeking out unique learning experiences, which, especially after Bob and I had our children, I’ve been big on, including taking Sean and Abby to museums, special/community events, and introducing them to performing arts, among other things.

It’s bittersweet, as I shared more extensively about in my last London Semester Journal entry, to recall this time spent with Ron, who died of brain cancer in 2014. That weekend I was unsure whether I wanted our relationship to grow beyond being friends, though he seemed to be trying to show me he would like that. There were many unknown factors at that point, that may or may not have been playing into my indecision, including our not knowing if Ron would be returning to work at Camp Algonquin, the residential summer camp we’d met at the previous summer.

Spoiler Alert (that I may’ve already shared in previous entries): Ron ended up getting a full-time job and not returning to camp that summer of 1996 and we knew this when our relationship did become more than just friends that spring. I wonder sometimes if we knew he was coming back to the States that summer, if that would’ve made us more or less likely to start our romance. Since Ron already seemed interested, when he believed he likely would be back at camp that summer, as he had a part-time job that gave him more flexibility to travel, my guess is he would have still wanted to. I’ll never know how that knowledge could’ve changed things for me. Once we did become more than friends, I wished so much that he was going to be at camp that summer and I do think things might’ve turned out differently for us long-term, had he been there.

I certainly understood why Ron chose to stay in England, with a stable job, and I did my best to cope with missing him that summer. I recall many days and nights that I was working at camp and thinking about Ron, especially listening to “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx and “Nobody Knows” by The Tony Rich Project, among other sappy songs that reminded me of him/our connection. Eventually I managed to get over him, when his infrequent communication led me to believe he wasn’t as into me as I thought.

Seeing the big picture now, from almost 23 years later, I appreciate Ron may’ve just moved more slowly than I did emotionally, struggling to express himself/not being confident in letter writing, and thus wasn’t able to keep up with my need for validation before I moved on. By the time I received his last letter/note (that I recall/have been able to find), in a Christmas card that December 1996, Bob and I had already been dating for two months and I was smitten. I had forgotten that card and note existed, until I came across it after finding out about Ron’s death. Reading it now, I appreciate he may not have been over me, but I don’t remember how I felt receiving it or if I sent him a card/letter in reply that Christmas/soon after. By then, I was no longer pining over Ron and didn’t think a lot about him going forward, as I was so into Bob.

I think that’s why learning of his death and then revisiting our time together, as well as our communication in 1995 and 1996 has been more painful, as even when I was missing Ron and trying to get over him that summer of 1996, I didn’t see the big picture (that is more visible when looking at the letters he sent me, along side my journal entries and photos from my semester abroad). When I first got home I was immersed in my re-entry from England and adjusting back to life in the States with my family and friends. I wanted so much to be in love and part of a serious relationship, as I’d been hoping for and dreaming of for years. I’d never dated anyone longer than a few months at that point in my life and wasn’t willing to be patient and wait for Ron, when he wasn’t giving me enough reason to.

As I mention later in this entry, I found out after Ron left that weekend, to return to Southampton, that I had been offered the job of Assistant Unit Director at Camp Algonquin, supervising half of the camp counselors, that summer and was really excited. It was a promotion for me from the previous summer, when I was camp counselor there. Since I was majoring in Leisure Studies: Program Management, and hadn’t yet decided to go to grad school after getting my Bachelors degree, I was especially interested in getting relevant work experience and building my résumé. I’d been a camp counselor for many years by then and felt ready to take on a leadership role/position.

Another bittersweet memory this entry called to mind is how much I cared about and respected (not his real last name) Manzel, who was the Executive Director of Camp Algonquin during those two summers that I worked there. He was a great mentor to me, as I pursued my vocation in Leisure Studies. I came across an old Christmas card from (not his real first name) Mark, while looking for things related to Ron, in which he talks about how special I was to him. Sadly, not long after I joined Facebook during the summer of 2008, I learned that Mark had died of cancer in 2003. He was another great guy who left this world much too soon and impacted many lives for the better, including mine.

I don’t recall going to work for Mark at Camp Algonquin early that summer of 1996, to make extra money, as he’d offered, but in retrospect it would’ve been a great opportunity. I returned from my semester abroad owing my parents some money, as in spite of my best efforts to live and travel frugally, I went a bit over my budget and had to borrow from them. So I could have had a head start at earning money to pay them back. However, I still lived at home (during the summer) and didn’t have a car yet, so getting to/from Algonquin from Evanston wasn’t easy or convenient. I am guessing that I was reveling in reconnecting with family and friends, after returning from being overseas, and didn’t want to leave again too soon, before I was scheduled to start officially working at camp that summer.

I also recall being fairly lazy that first month I was back, when I wasn’t taking short trips to visit friends down at school, as well as my grandparents in Ohio and South Carolina. I remember sleeping late, lying on the couch a lot while watching TV, and snacking. I’m pretty sure I put on some weight, negating some of the progress I’d made working out at the University of London fitness center and being generally active during my overseas adventures.

Finally, I continue appreciate how much my faith helped me through my semester abroad. From attending mass often at Newman House in London to reading the Bible, it is clear I found comfort in worshiping with fellow Catholics and spending time with God. At a point in my life when I’ve felt less connected to my faith and Catholicism, it is nice to remember how I felt back then. Recently, a group of women who I used to meet with weekly during Lent, and then often monthly the rest of the liturgical year, have decided to reconvene this year, starting the week of Ash Wednesday. I am looking forward to the opportunity to be part of a smaller faith sharing community again during Lent.

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Reminder: Unless I’ve been given permission to use people’s actual names, in most cases I’ve removed or replaced the names of the real people who were part of my journey/experience there, in effort to protect and respect their identities/privacy in my London Semester Journal entries. I will also not share details that I think and feel are too personal for anyone I interacted with, my loved ones, and me.

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Here’s the back story of My London Semester Journals from 1996, including what prompted me to revisit and decide to share them here in 2018. And here’s a list a list of the entries, which I will update as I share them.