Sibling Snippets: Dinner Conversation

Sean and Abby posing for a photo last week.

I am taking a short break from packing (only two more days until our big move) to share a recent Sibling Snippet.

One night last week during dinner, which happened to be one of Sean’s favorites (Spaghetti with Italian Sausage), out of nowhere Sean says to me:

“Is Abby the last person that you are going to be pregnant with?”

Bob and I looked at each other and smiled at the seemingly randomness and direct nature of our son’s question.

I answered, “we are not completely sure yet, but probably so.”

Then I asked him why he wanted to know.

Sean replied, “I think Abby would like a sister! Would you like a sister Abby?”

(Which reminded me of recently when we bought our tickets for our 7th Annual Trip to Day Out with Thomas at the Illinois Railway Museum in August and Sean told me that we were going “for Abby!”)

Abby said enthusiastically, “Uh-huh!”

Then Sean commented, “Abby is so cute! She says yes to just about everything I ask her.” Which is adorable and very true lately.

Then I chose to follow up with reminding Sean that “it’s not always that easy to for people, especially our family, to have another child.”

I asked Sean to recall how I have told him before that it was very hard for us to have another baby after we had him. I also told him that sometimes Mommy and Daddy think it makes sense for us to be grateful for having him and Abby in our family and move on with our lives, instead of trying to have more, which we might not be able to do, even if we want to. 

Then, as I often do after explaining some thing like that to our son, I asked him “does that make sense?!”

To which Sean replies “Yes!” and we ended the conversation.

As much as I might have enjoyed “unpacking” the reasoning behind why Sean asked that question and maybe try to find if he really wants another living sibling or if he was just curious and doesn’t feel strongly either way, I resisted the urge to try to keep the discussion going longer than our son naturally wanted to.

I read somewhere or was advised by someone wise a while back that when children ask questions, like our Sean did at dinner, that they aren’t always looking to have a long and/or in depth conversation about the topic and that it is often best to “follow their lead” and only continue the Q and A as long as they seem interested.

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