Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Welcome to the twentieth installment of my blog hop/writing exercise called Time Warp Tuesday!

For those not familiar with Time Warp Tuesdays, which I host on the 2nd Tuesday of every month, here is the background of how and why I came up with the idea. If you are here to participate and link up, you can do so with the Linky Tools at the end of this post (or if you have any difficulty, you can share the link to your post in the comment section).

The gist of Time Warp Tuesday is to revisit and share some of our favorite blog entries from our archives and reflect on our journeys since we wrote them.

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The theme for this month’s Time Warp Tuesday is: Fathering

Piggybacking on our theme for May, this month we will reflect on the roles that the fathers in our lives have played. Whether you reflect on a post that you wrote about your own father, a father figure and/or your husband or significant other, choose a blog entry from your archives that you wrote related to fathering. As with our “Mothering” topic in May, this can be a post where you talked about your own experience with fathers in your life, one in which you wrote about your hopes and dreams for fathers and/or men that you love and care about, a blog entry about fathers who have influenced you and/or however else you may interpret this topic.   Then write a new post on your blog about why you chose the post that you did and what has happened in your life since.

Participants can write about whatever you want in your new blog entries. However, for those who might have needed some help and inspiration to get started, here are some questions to consider:

Why did you pick this post? Has your perspective changed since the day you wrote your original post? Do you think you would still feel the same way if you were writing your post today? What have you learned about yourself, your family and your life since you wrote your original post?

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Time Warp Tuesday: Fathering

When I chose “Fathering” for this month’s Time Warp theme, I knew which blog entry I wanted to revisit. It is only a year old, but it is one that means a lot to me.

Interestingly (and I didn’t discover this until after I wrote most of this post), over the past few days it has been among the top three links that come up on Google when people search for a “father’s day blessing.” I realize being the week before Father’s Day that isn’t shocking, but I still think it is pretty cool.

Here is a link to my post:

An Unusual Father’s Day Blessing 

Please go and read the post that I am reflecting on today (and comment if you choose), if you haven’t already, and then come back here to see what I have to say about my journey since I wrote it.

***Here is where you left off before you stopped to read my old post.***

I was so impressed on Father’s Day last year to hear such a thoughtful and inclusive blessing for the men in our church.

When I revisit it today I see that it could still be even more inclusive, speaking to those men who want to be fathers (but are not yet), those who are trying to have another child (that might be struggling) and/or those who are living child-free after infertility or loss.

Though we will not be celebrating Father’s Day this year at our own parish, I may still touch base with our pastor this week to thank him again for sharing that blessing last year and for being open to/incorporating my feedback and suggestions to the blessing that was said last month on Mother’s Day at our church.

This is one of my favorite parts of the post I am revisiting and it still rings true for me today:

I often share here on my blog about how there are a lot of people in our world who I feel don’t try hard enough to be sensitive to and show compassion for those who have experienced infertility and/or lost a child, so it feels good to be able to share this story with you today, the day after Father’s Day, about people in our church community making an effort to be more inclusive and empathetic to many different kinds of fathers.

As we approach Father’s Day this month, I hope and pray that more church communities and others who have the opportunity to address those who are fathers, missing their fathers, hoping to be fathers or making peace with not being fathers will do their best to make these men feel welcome, accepted, appreciated and cared about on this holiday. In case you missed it, Lori from Write Mind, Open Heart wrote an awesome open letter last month about this very topic.

Another thing I love about reflecting on this post is the part about how Bob checked in with me after mass to find out if I had heard the blessing, since I had been in the back of our church with Abby at that time it was spoken. It meant a lot that day to know that he seemed touched by it:

Bob doesn’t talk about our daughter Molly or the feelings he has related to her short life and death very often. However, I do think it was meaningful for him and other fathers who have lost children, especially babies, to be recognized specifically in the blessing, on what can be a bittersweet holiday for those fathers who are not able to spend the day with all of their children because one or more of them left this world too soon.

It was also interesting for me to see the “housekeeping” items that I shared (towards the end of my post) about my blog at this time last year. It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a year since I joined the BlogHer Publishing Network and that in less than a year’s time I got my own URL, moved from Blogger to Self-Hosted WordPress and even designed my own masthead for my blog, as I talked about possibly doing someday in this post.

Back then I was just getting my feet wet with BlogHer and since then I have had one of my blog entries syndicated and a few others featured on BlogHer, I joined the BlogHer Book Club and will even be speaking at BlogHer’s Annual Conference this August! So it is fun to be able to look back and see how far I have come in my journey as a blogger.

Thank you for reading and for doing the Time Warp with me this month! I look forward to your feedback about this post, as well as reading and commenting on all of yours.

Please feel free to comment even if you didn’t write your own Time Warp Tuesday post. It is not too late to participate if you are interested, click here for the details.

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The topic for the next Time Warp Tuesday (on July 10th) is: Fear

Look for a blog entry in your archives where you wrote about fear. I think this topic speaks for itself and you may interpret it however it you choose. Then write a new post on your blog about why you chose the post that you did and what has happened in your life since.

Participants can write about whatever you want in your new blog entries. However, for those who might need some help and inspiration to get started, here are some questions to consider:

Why did you pick this post? Has your perspective changed since the day you wrote your original post? Do you think you would still feel the same way if you were writing your post today? What have you learned about yourself, your family and your life since you wrote your original post?

Note: If you have an idea for a future Time Warp topic, theme and/or writing prompt, please feel free to share it in the comment section or send me an email. If I choose to use your idea, I will give you credit and link to your blog that month.

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For those new to Time Warp Tuesday, here is a quick recap of how it works:

1) Browse through your old blog entries to find one that fits the topic for the given month. The topic is shared at the end of the previous month’s “Time Warp Tuesday” post here on my blog (see above for next week’s topic).

2) Write a new blog post in which you introduce, link to and then reflect on your journey since you wrote the older blog post and put it up on your blog on Tuesday. Please include this link http://bereavedandblessed.com/projects-regular-series/time-warp-tuesdays/ in your blog entry, so your readers can find their way to my post with the list of other participants, in case they would like to read more or participate themselves.

3) Share the link to your new post here on Tuesday and then visit, read and comment on the other blogs.

4) After you have done all of these things, you are welcome to grab the code for the Time Warp Tuesday button by clicking here and put it on your blog. The link will take you to a Google Doc where you can copy the code. If your browser does not allow access to your computer’s clipboard, you can use Ctrl-C for Copy and Ctrl-V for Paste, or use your browser’s Edit menu.

5) Check back here on the 2nd Tuesday of the month to find out the new topic, theme or question for the next Time Warp Tuesday (I welcome your ideas and suggestions) and then return to Step 1 of this recap to participate. Please let me know if you have any questions and I hope to see you back here next month: Tuesday, July 10th (the 2nd Tuesday of the month), when we’ll “do the time warp again!”

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Thank you again for reading, commenting and participating in my Time Warp Tuesday blog hop. Link up below and click through to visit others who are doing the Time Warp! (If you have any trouble with Linky Tools, please share the link to your blog entry in the comment section.  Also, please don’t forget to comment on my post here, as I do not have a link to this (my own) post below, but I would still really appreciate your feedback. xoxo


{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 OnceAMother June 12, 2012 at 11:14 am

So true! I think we as a society tend to only think of the needs/feelings/emotions of women struggling with grief or infertility, and many times the pain of the father’s is wrongly overlooked. Great post Kathy!
OnceAMother recently posted.."Fathering"My Profile

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2 Kathy June 29, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Thank you and so glad that you did the Time Warp with us this month! I would love for you to join us again in the future! xoxo
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3 Justine June 12, 2012 at 11:39 am

It’s so wonderful that you are able to be an advocate in your church, and that you feel it’s a place that will be receptive to your perspective … indeed, how much can change in a year! And: you never know what the ripple effects of that advocacy will be …
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4 Kathy June 29, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Thank you Justine! I do feel lucky that our church is somewhat receptive to my feedback/perspective. If they were completely closed off from that, I might have to find another place to commune and worship.

That is so true about the ripple effect!
Kathy recently posted..A Father’s Day BlessingMy Profile

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5 missohkay June 12, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Despite all my focus on becoming a mother, I didn’t have posts about mothering or fathering to participate with! I’ve definitely written about fear so I’ll be back next time!

I enjoyed this post and your warp post. Even when people do acknowledge the loss of a child, so often the focus is on the mother, so it’s good to see acknowledgement of the father’s feelings too.
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6 Kathy June 29, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I am glad you enjoyed the posts and I agree that it is important not to forget about the father’s feelings, even if many of them do not share them openly.

Excited that you will be joining us next month to reflect on fear!
Kathy recently posted..Gatekeeping (6th Edition)My Profile

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7 Lori Lavender Luz June 12, 2012 at 3:32 pm

A blessing, indeed, that Bob’s heart was touched last year. I hope that however you spend Father’s Day this year that Bob’s heart is full in all the ways that matter. And soothed, too.

Thanks for the shout out about Mother’s/Father’s Day. You should be really proud of the work you’re doing here advocating and caring (and making a pretty space!).
Lori Lavender Luz recently posted..Time Warp Tuesday: FatheringMy Profile

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8 Kathy June 29, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Thanks and you are welcome Lori. I really appreciate your kind words and validation. xoxo
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