Time Warp Tuesday: Comments Please

by Kathy on February 7, 2012 · 8 comments

in 9/11, Blog Hops, Happiness, Healing, Infertility, Inspiration, Life, Loss, Pain, Quotes, Relationships, Time Warp Tuesdays, Writing

Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Welcome to the fifteenth installment of my blog hop/writing exercise called Time Warp Tuesday here on Four of a Kind!

For those not familiar with Time Warp Tuesdays, which I host on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of every monthhere is the background of how and why I came up with the idea. If you are here to participate and link up your post, you can do so with the Linky Tools at the end of this post (or if you have any difficulty using it, you can share the link to your post in the comment section here).

The gist of Time Warp Tuesday is to revisit and share some of our favorite blog entries from our archives and reflect on our journeys since we wrote them.

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The theme for this week’s Time Warp Tuesday is: Comments Please

Note: Special thanks to Deborah from Unglamorous who suggested this topic! If you have an idea for a future Time Warp topic, theme and/or writing prompt, please feel free to share it in the comment section or send me an email. If I choose to use your idea, I will give you credit and link to your blog that week.

Sometimes we feel really good about a post after we write and share it on our blogs. However, we don’t always get the feedback and validation we crave from our readers. This is your chance to revisit a an old blog entry that you are proud of and invite others doing the Time Warp to read and give it the attention it deserves. Choose one of your favorite posts from your archives, that as Deborah suggested, got little to no comments. 
Then write a new post on your blog about why you chose the post that you did and what has happened in your life since. Hopefully through Time Warp this week you will receive the comments and validation that you missed out on the first time around.

Participants can write about whatever you want in your new blog entries. However, for those who might have needed some help and inspiration to get started, here are some questions to consider:

Why did you pick this post? What do you think you didn’t get more responses from your readers to your post? Has your perspective changed since the day you wrote your original post? Do you think you would still feel the same way if you were writing your post today? What have you learned about yourself, your family and your life since you wrote your original post?

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Time Warp Tuesday: Comments Please

I began blogging almost five years ago in April 2007. During my first six months of writing and sharing here I didn’t interact with many other bloggers. Being part of a community of writers who were dealing with infertility and/or loss was not something I really even knew was an option. Though I had been active in online forums/discussion boards and in “buddy groups” on websites such as Fertility Friend since July 2002, the concept of blogging was still very new to me. So when I revisit those early blog entries, they have very few, if any, comments. Back then I was just writing to keep family and close friends who were supportive of our choice to use Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) to try to expand our family up to date on how our cycles were going.

Those early posts are filled with a lot of details about IVF, the various protocols our RE was using to try to get us pregnant and keep us that way, our monitoring appointments and the medications I was taking (mostly via self administered injections). They are interesting if you want to know about the process and experience of first timers doing IVF, but there aren’t many blog entries from 2007 that I find very inspiring or moving when I look back. I hadn’t found the passion yet that I have now for writing and sharing about my life and parenting after what ended up being our five year journey through secondary infertility and loss.

I didn’t participate in the Creme de la Creme in 2007, as it wasn’t on my radar back then. Sometime last year I was curious which post that I would have submitted had I known about the Creme. I read through what I wrote in 2007 and chose this one from 9/11/07. It is also the blog entry that I have chosen to revisit and reflect on for this Time Warp Tuesday. It is my favorite post that I wrote that year and yet it has never received a single comment.

I wrote this post after watching a 9/11 6th Anniversary tribute episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show that morning, which had profiled some of the children of those who had died in the World Trade Center, the Pentagon or on Flight 93. I also talked about how when we go through difficult and uncertain times in our lives the importance of being able to transfer what we learn from those experiences into being more sensitive to others who are also struggling, even if their trials are nothing like ours.

Here is a link to my post:

P.S.

Please go and read the post that I am reflecting on today (and comment if you choose), if you haven’t already, and then come back here to see what I have to say about my journey since I wrote it.

***Here is where you left off before you stopped to read my old post.***

One of the first things that struck me when re-reading this post was that it was written pre-Molly. So I was focused mostly on my experience dealing with secondary infertility and early pregnancy loss and writing from that place and mindset. At that time I had not yet lived through losing a child who I had carried to almost 30 weeks gestation, lived for about 15 minutes and then died.

I recall feeling awkward trying to compare my own journey to those children of the victims of 9/11, but also believing that “a loss is a loss” (whether it is because of the death of a parent, a child, a loved one of any age or a dream for how we thought our lives would or could be). So I appreciate where I was coming from that day talking about how I felt able to relate to those children who I had seen on Oprah. As I said in my post,

I found that I could in some ways relate to many of the comments that they made this morning, about how only others who have lost loved ones on September 11, can truly understand their situation and feelings. In relating to their comments, I make the analogy that only those who have faced infertility (primary or secondary) can really appreciate what it is like to walk in our shoes and know what we feel.

The next part of my post introduced one of the most important lessons that I have learned from my experience with secondary infertility and loss. I have referenced it many times over the years and it is truly something that I am grateful for in the midst of all the pain and suffering my family and I have lived through on our journey trying to build and expand our family over the past ten years.

Bottom line: My friend shared that she hopes all people who go through trials in their lives, such as the one Bob and I are living through now, can apply their experiences to be able to be more sensitive in general to other people’s feelings and situations, no matter what the details of their plights are. As none of us know what it is like to walk in another person’s shoes, however we can try harder to think before we speak and try to imagine what it might be like for us, if we were given the hand someone else was dealt, before we make judgments or say things that they might take offense to.

We are human and have a tendency get caught up in our own situations and circumstances, that shape the unique perspectives through which we view the world. We often forget, at least temporarily, that everyone has challenges in their lives that impact who we are, what we value and how we choose to treat others. I appreciate this opportunity to be reminded of the importance of truly trying to learn from our experiences and working to transfer those lessons to being more sensitive to and compassionate with others who are going through difficult, uncertain and/or painful times in their lives.

I believe this post that I chose to reflect on for Time Warp this week is timeless and I will leave you with an adapted version of the original ending I wrote for it:

Thank you again to my friend, for the awesome email you sent me four years ago and the great example you have been to me throughout my life, as someone who has learned from your experiences and is better (not bitter) for them. May God bless those who died on 9/11/01, their loved ones and each one of you and your loved ones. May we all continue to learn from each other and grow in peace, hope and love with each passing day we are blessed to remain on this earth. Though our lives may not be exactly what we hoped or expected them to be right now, my wish for all of us today is that we are able to make the most of what we do have to be grateful for in our lives, as we never know what day on earth could be our last, as the families and friends of 9/11 victims can surely attest to.

“Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.” ~ Garth Brooks

Thank you for reading and for doing the Time Warp with me. I look forward to your feedback about this post, as well as reading and commenting on all of yours.

Please feel free to comment even if you didn’t write your own Time Warp Tuesday post. It is not too late to participate if you are interested, click here for the details.

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The topic for the next Time Warp Tuesday (on February 21st) is: Blog Beginnings

Note: Special thanks to Keiko from Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed who suggested this topic! If you have an idea for a future Time Warp topic, theme and/or writing prompt, please feel free to share it in the comment section or send me an email. If I choose to use your idea, I will give you credit and link to your blog that week.

Share with us your first blog entry or one of the first posts that you wrote and shared on your blog. In Keiko’s words, “some of us have them prominently featured, some of us wish we could hide them away forever… Let’s dig them up and dust them off!” Then write a new post on your blog about why you chose the post that you did and what has happened in your life since. 

Participants can write about whatever you want in your new blog entries. However, for those who might need some help and inspiration to get started, here are some questions to consider:

Why did you pick this post? Has your perspective changed since the day you wrote your original post? Do you think you would still feel the same way if you were writing your post today? What have you learned about yourself, your family and your life since you wrote your original post? 

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For those new to Time Warp Tuesday, here is a quick recap of how it works:

1) Browse through your old blog entries to find one that fits the topic for the given week. The topic is shared at the end of the previous week’s “Time Warp Tuesday” post here on my blog (see above for next week’s topic).

2) Write a new blog post in which you introduce, link to and then reflect on your journey since you wrote the older blog post and put it up on your blog on Tuesday. Please include this link http://chicagobensons.blogspot.com/search/label/Time%20Warp%20Tuesdays in your blog entry, so your readers can find their way to my post with the list of other participants, in case they would like to read more or participate themselves.

3) Share the link to your new post here on Tuesday and then visit, read and comment on the other blogs.

4) After you have done all of these things, you are welcome to grab the code for the the Time Warp Tuesday button by clicking here and put it on your blog. The link will take you to a Google Doc where you can copy the code. If your browser does not allow access to your computer’s clipboard, you can use Ctrl-C for Copy and Ctrl-V for Paste, or use your browser’s Edit menu.

5) Check back here on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month to find out the new topic, theme or question for the next Time Warp Tuesday (I welcome your ideas and suggestions) and then return to Step 1 of this recap to participate.

Please let me know if you have any questions and I hope to see you back here in two weeks, on Tuesday, February 21st (the 3rd Tuesday of this month), when we’ll “do the time warp again!”

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Thank you again for reading, commenting and participating in my Time Warp Tuesday blog hop. Link up below and click through to visit others who are doing the Time Warp! (If you have any trouble with Linky Tools, please share the link to your blog entry in the comment section.). Also, please don’t forget to comment on my post here, as I do not have a link to this (my own) post below, but I would still really appreciate your feedback. xoxo


{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 aprilvak February 7, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Great post, Kathy. It’s funny that so many of us use so many words to try to express a simple, universal concept like ‘be nice.’ I guess it isn’t that simple or universal, though, or we wouldn’t have to try so hard to explain it. You put it very well.

Reply

2 Kathy February 7, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Thank you so much for your comment and your kind words April! I was feeling the irony today with the title of this post/this week’s Time Warp theme, that for most of the day this blog entry didn’t have any comments… 🙂

Sometime last year I heard this quote in a Jeff Buckley song that really struck me and relates well to this discussion:

“It’s so easy to laugh. It’s so easy to hate. It takes guts to be gentle and kind.”

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3 Jjiraffe February 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Great post. I forgot to comment on PS that I loved this quote:

“Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.” ~ Garth Brooks

This is so true. And it’s something I struggle with sometimes so I’m glad you republished the quote here.

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4 Kathy February 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Thank you Jjiraffe! I am glad you like the quote, it’s been a favorite of mine for years. Thanks so much for doing the Time Warp with us again this week! I really enjoyed your posts. 🙂

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5 Lavender Luz February 7, 2012 at 7:36 pm

It’s so funny (interesting, not ha-ha) that both you and I chose posts that had to do with gratefulness and want. I wonder if I’ll find that theme as I go through the rest of the TWT entries.

I like both your endings 🙂

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6 Baby Smiling In Back Seat February 7, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Delighted to be joining the Time Warp for the first time! Thanks for hosting.

It’s telling that it didn’t take a tragedy like the loss of Molly to give you compassion for others’ suffering; you have been compassionate and empathetic all along.

Reply

7 Esperanza February 8, 2012 at 10:59 pm

This was a great TWT prompt! Thanks for sharing such a great post with such a timeless message.

Reply

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