Welcome to the third installment of my new blog hop/writing exercise called Time Warp Tuesday here on Four of a Kind!
In case you missed my original post about this, here is the background of how and why I came up with the idea. If you are here to participate and link up your post, you can do so with the Linky Tools at the end of this post (or if you have any difficulty using it, you can share the link to your post in the comment section here).
The gist of Time Warp Tuesday is to revisit and share some of our favorite blog entries from our archives and reflect on our journeys since we wrote them.
The theme for this week’s Time Warp Tuesday is: Song Lyrics
In my post last week I encouraged participants to choose a post from your archives in which you included song lyrics. Then write a new post on your blog about why you chose it and what has happened in your life since. For this Time Warp theme/prompt I talked about how music plays a significant role in so many of our lives. During happy moments and milestones we celebrate good times by listening to, singing along with and dancing to our favorite songs. When we find ourselves facing challenges and uncertainty in our life we often turn to music and lyrics to find comfort, peace and inspiration.
Participants can write about whatever you want in your new blog entries. However, for those who might have needed some help and inspiration to get started, I shared some questions to consider:
Why did you pick this post? What was it about the particular song and/or lyrics that moved you to include them in your blog entry? Is this a song you still listen to during happy or difficult times in your life? What memories does the song call to mind for you? Has your perspective changed since the day you wrote your original post? If so, how? Do you think you would still feel the same way now if you were writing it today? Would you still include this song? What have you learned about yourself, your family and your life since you wrote your original post?
Time Warp Tuesday: Song Lyrics
I wrote the post that I chose for this week on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in October 2008. I find it a welcome coincidence that I happened to choose this topic/writing prompt to explore the same week three years later. I did not have this post (or the song lyrics that I shared in it) in mind when I thought of this topic.
The Remembrance Day this year falls on this coming Saturday (October 15). The “Walk to Remember” that I talk about in this post we have participated in every year since. We did so earlier this month, for the fourth time, on October 2, which was also Sean’s 8th Birthday. He was a very good sport about spending some of his special day walking to remember his baby sister Molly and the other babies that we have lost over the years.
Here is the link to my post called: Who You’d Be Today
Please go and read the post that I am reflecting on today (and comment if you choose), if you haven’t already, and then come back here to see what I have to say about my journey since then.
***Here is where you left off before you stopped to read my old post.***
So much has happened since I wrote that post. A few months later somehow we were able to conceive again on our own, sustain the pregnancy and almost a year later give birth to our daughter Abigail. However bringing Abby into this world and our family was in no way a “replacement” for what we lost. Rather she is a wonderful addition to our family, including those of us here on Earth and those watching over us from Heaven.
To this day when I hear this song I tear up. It captures so well the way a parent feels when they lose a child. We never get over it and so often find ourselves wondering and imagining who our children would be today. As I shared in the post that I chose to revisit and reflect on today, I often think about who our angel babies would be today, had they lived and been born around the time they were due…
A 6 year old (who would have started first grade this year, possibly at the same school as his or her older brother), a 5 1/2 year old or a 5 year old (either of whom would be in kindergarten and would surely have their own interests and unique personalities by now) and a 3 1/2 year old baby girl (who would be in preschool and doing many of the things that I see her cousin, and other of our friends’ children that age, doing at this stage of their lives). Though I try not to dwell too long in the fantasy of would they could be today, I do find it therapeutic to allow myself to imagine and wonder now and then…
This year’s “Walk to Remember” was again a very moving experience for me. For the first time we attended just the four of us. In past years Bob’s mom attended and last year my parents also joined us. Though our family members are always welcome to be with us at “the walk,” it was actually nice this time to have it be “just us.”
Sean has grown to appreciate and look forward to the event, especially the time when we do the balloon release and watch the multi-colored balloons float away into the sky. It is bittersweet to realize that each one represents a baby or babies that one of the families present at “the walk” has lost. Sean even asked us this year if we really thought that Molly and Babies Benson would be receiving the balloons that we “sent to them” in Heaven that day. I replied by asking him what he thought. He said he wasn’t sure, but he liked the idea that they might get them and I agreed. This was also the first year that Abby seemed to grasp some of what we were doing. She was fascinated by the balloons and when we let go and watched them fly up into the sky, she kept saying “balloons, fly away, sky!”
There is a time during the “Walk to Remember” each year when bereaved parents, family members and other loved ones are invited to speak, share a poem and/or something they have written. After four years of considering doing so, this time I finally chose to volunteer to speak and to share a story that has helped me to makes some sense of our loss, especially the short life and death of our daughter Molly. It is called The Brave Little Soul and was written by John Alessi.
It was therapeutic for me to do this and I got choked up as I read. I was very moved as I would look up at times, while reading, and see the faces of many bereaved families and hospital staff members (nurses, chaplains, etc.) that have been a part of my journey through grief and loss since I first began attending “Caring Connections” (the perinatal bereavement support group at our local hospital) five years ago this Fall. When I first began going to the meetings regularly in September 2006, I was still processing our interstitial ectopic pregnancy the previous year (in November 2005) and the two early miscarriages that had preceded it in December 2004 and August 2005, which if you have already gone back and read, you know that I shared about in more detail in the post I chose for Time Warp today.
In my post last week, I talked about how grateful I am to be a part of this awesome community of bloggers who are here to support and encourage each other during the best and worst moments of our lives.” Likewise, I feel blessed and lucky to be a part of a group of families who live in the Chicago area and Southwest suburbs who choose to gather monthly to support each other as we continue to process our grief and our loss (whether our babies died last month, last year or many years ago), as well as those who come together annually in October to honor the lives and memories of our babies who have gone to soon.
Though we will never get the chance to know who the children we have lost would be today, I do find peace, comfort and strength in realizing how Molly and Babies Benson have impacted my life, as well as the lives of their daddy, big brother Sean, little sister Abby and other loved ones. I believe that most of us that were touched by Molly and our other three “angel babies” have become more sensitive and compassionate people for having had them in our lives (even for such a short while) or in Abby’s case for having the opportunity to learn about them as she grows up.
Thank you for reading and for doing the Time Warp with me this week. I look forward to your feedback about this post, as well as reading and commenting on all of yours. Please feel free to comment even if you didn’t write your own Time Warp Tuesday post this week. It is not too late to participate if you are interested, click here for the details.
This is such an overwhelmingly busy time in my family and my life right now. For me it is in part because I am still working on my witness for the women’s retreat that I am helping to plan for and host next month at our parish, along with other retreat preparations. In some ways the experience of writing my witness has been like composing a really long blog post. During this “crunch time,” if it weren’t for this blog hop/writing exercise, I probably would not have posted a blog entry at all this week and may not do so again until this time next week, but it has been nice to take a break from all the other things on my “to do list,” to write here and prepare for this week’s Time Warp Tuesday, as well as to choose the theme for our next round.
Updated to add: For those who are interested, here is a You Tube video that includes the song and lyrics for Who You’d Be Today.
Below you will find next week’s topic and I hope that you will join me back here on Tuesday when we “do the Time Warp again!”
The topic for next week’s Time Warp Tuesday is: Heroes
Mel from Stirrup Queen’s (yes, I get a lot of inspiration from her and reading her blog) wrote a truly awesome post last week on the day that Steve Jobs passed away. If you haven’t read it, you can do so here. It may be my favorite post that she has ever written. It moved me that much. The blog entry is about Mel and her husband’s experience telling their son that his hero had died. It is a moving tribute to the visionary who brought so many wonderful ideas to our world and inspired this week’s topic.
Choose a post from your archives where you wrote about one of your heroes, someone that has inspired you and/or a person that made a significant difference in your life. It can be someone that you knew personally or someone that you admired from a far. Then write a new post on your blog about why you chose it and what has happen in your life since.
Participants can write about whatever you want in your new blog entries. However, for those who might need some help and inspiration to get started, here are some questions to consider:
Why did you pick this post? Has your perspective changed since the day you wrote your original post? Do you still consider this person to be one of your heroes? Why or why not? If you know your hero personally, how has your relationship changed or evolved since you wrote your original post? If you don’t have a personal relationship with your hero, have you ever met them or would you want to spend time with them, if given the chance? Do you think you would still feel the same way now if you were writing it today? What have you learned about yourself, your family and your life since you wrote your original post?
For those new to Time Warp Tuesday, here is a quick recap of how it works:
1) Browse through your old blog entries to find one that fits the topic for the given week. The topic is shared at the end of the previous week’s “Time Warp Tuesday” post here on my blog (see above for next week’s topic).
2) Write a new blog post in which you introduce, link to and then reflect on your journey since you wrote the older blog post and put it up on your blog on Tuesday. Please include this link http://chicagobensons.blogspot.com/search/label/Time%20Warp%20Tuesdays in your blog entry, so your readers can find their way to my post with the list of other participants, in case they would like to read more or participate themselves.
3) Share the link to your new post here on Tuesday and then visit, read and comment on the other blogs.
4) After you have done all of these things, you are welcome to grab the code for the the Time Warp Tuesday button by clicking here and put it on your blog. The link will take you to a Google Doc where you can copy the code. If your browser does not allow access to your computer’s clipboard, you can use Ctrl-C for Copy and Ctrl-V for Paste, or use your browser’s Edit menu.
5) Check back here every Tuesday to find out the new topic, theme or question for the following week (I welcome your ideas and suggestions) and then return to Step 1 of this recap to participate.
Please let me know if you have any questions and I hope to see you back here on next Tuesday when we’ll “do the time warp again!”
Thank you again for reading, commenting and participating in my Time Warp Tuesday blog hop. Link up below and click through to visit others who are doing the Time Warp! (If you have any trouble with Linky Tools, please share the link to your blog entry in the comment section.). Also, please don’t forget to comment on my post here, as I do not have a link to this (my own) post below, but I would still really appreciate your feedback. xoxo