Welcome to my first Perfect Moment Monday post. Lori from Write Mind Open Heart says that “Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between.”
I love the idea of being mindful of and blogging about perfect moments. I know historically I have used my blog more to write about things I am struggling with and though I know that is valid and important for me at times, I appreciate the idea of being intentional about also sharing the simple and very special moments in our lives. Many thanks to Lori for this idea, a wonderful opportunity to focus on what is right in our life, instead of what is wrong.
I got an email this weekend from a woman that I met last week at a perinatal bereavement support group I go to. The monthly support group meetings are held at the hospital where all of my children were born and Molly died. Though I rarely missed a meeting in the first year after Molly’s birth and death, it had been awhile since I was there and it was therapeutic for me to be back with others who “get it.” The woman and her husband had come to the meeting for the first time this month after losing their baby girl only two weeks earlier.
Though all of the stories we share at our support group are different, there are usually common threads within each of our experiences and I felt a real connection to this woman. I reached out to her after the meeting, sharing my contact info (including the URL for my blog). In her email she thanked me for doing so and shared about a recent visit that she and her husband had made to the cemetery where (as it turns out) both their daughter and our Molly are buried. We discovered that our baby girls were both in the same cemetery and section, which they call “Holy Innocents,” at the meeting that night.
In her email, my new friend told me about how it was their first visit since they had buried their daughter there on Valentine’s Day. She and her husband had taken some purple flowers (a color that they associate with their baby girl) out of the arrangements decorating her grave site to place directly on the dirt over her grave. Then my friend told me that she proceeded to find our daughter Molly’s grave and put a flower there too. She shared that while doing so she asked our Molly to take care of their baby girl and show her “the ropes” in Heaven. Our 7 year old son Sean refers to such Heavenly friendships that he imagines his baby sister has in the afterlife as Heavenmates, not unlike the classmates that he has in school here in this life.
Reading my new friend’s words about our baby girls’ relationship brought me to tears and melted my heart. I love the image of my daughter welcoming and mentoring new brave little souls in Heaven. I will never get over the death of my daughter, but experiences like this are truly perfect moments for me, a mother who is still very much grieving and healing from the loss of my baby girl as we approach the third anniversary of her birth and death in April. In these moments, I am able to continue to see some of the good that has come through my daughter Molly’s short, but very special, life and for that I a grateful.