"The love inside…"

by Kathy on September 15, 2009 · 22 comments

in Baby Benson, Bob, Inspiration, Loss, Molly, Quotes, Sean

you take it with you.”

~ Sam says to Molly in the movie “Ghost” after he dies

I was eating my breakfast this morning, after Bob and Sean left to catch their respective train and bus to work and to school, while reading and commenting on my friends’ status updates on Facebook (I find it relaxing). I was noticing how many of them had to do with Patrick Swayze’s death (may he rest in peace): “nobody puts baby in the corner,” “she’s like the wind,” you get the idea… When I came across one from an old friend from high school. He shared that he is “friends” with Demi Moore on Facebook and that one of her recent status updates read:

Patrick you are loved by so many and your light will forever shine in all of our lives.

And in the words of Sam to Molly,

“It’s amazing Molly. The love inside, you take it with you.”

I love and will miss you Patrick.

I just started bawling, in part because I didn’t remember that Demi Moore’s character in the movie “Ghost” was named Molly (like our baby girl in Heaven) and because I forgot how much I love that quote. Very therapeutic on this morning, two days before our new daughter/sister is due to be born.

I cannot believe how close we are getting to meeting her! I have so many mixed emotions, as I know that some of you understand and others are very empathetic to.

CLC, at Please Give Me Back My Heart , had such a heartfelt post this week about how she wishes that her baby girl (who died in December 2007) and her baby boy’s (who was born in March of this year) “existences didn’t have to be mutually exclusive.” I could really relate to feeling that anguish of wanting to have Molly back, while preparing to welcome our new baby girl into our world. I also really appreciated reading the validating comments on CLC’s post, especially one from a woman who suggested that your children who have gone before you and those who still live with you here on earth don’t have to be “mutually exclusive in our hearts.” I like that concept and choose to focus on it now.

I am excited for the birth of our daughter/baby sister on Thursday, believe me! However, I am also just scared that some how this isn’t real and/or that we won’t get to bring her home. I am trying to be optimistic that she will be fine and know that it won’t be long now. I realize this is normal for a mother who has lost a child and am doing my best to be patient with and kind to myself. I know that it is okay that I may not be approaching our new baby girl’s birthday in a “normal” way. It doesn’t mean that I am any less grateful for her existence or that I love her any less than my other children (both living and in Heaven).

Thank you, as always, for your kinds words, support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I find so much comfort and peace in the idea that our Molly-girl has taken the love she felt inside while she was here with us on this earth with her to Heaven. I wish that for Patrick Swayze, all of my family members and friends that have gone before me and for your loved ones that have gone before you.

48 hours from now, if things go as planned, I will be in the operating room prepping for our c-section to deliver our new baby girl!

September 17th is going to be a happy day!

One day at at time…

We are almost there.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

1 jill September 15, 2009 at 7:27 am

It's getting so close! I'm excited for you and can't wait to hear how it all goes.

I'm repeating for you, "September 17th is going to be a happy day!"

Love the quote from Ghost – haven't seen that movie in so long, maybe I'll watch it again in honor of Patrick – I'm glad it can bring you some comfort for your own Molly.

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2 Seraphim September 15, 2009 at 7:32 am

It IS going to be a happy day and I will be eagerly awaiting an update. Lots of love to you Kathy xxxx

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3 T-Mommy September 15, 2009 at 7:41 am

I am sure Molly will be sharing this cominf Thursday a little of that love she took with her, to celebrate the arrival of her baby sister…

…Almost there!

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4 Martha September 15, 2009 at 9:17 am

Best Wishes for you and your daughter's Birth Day. Thank goodness we have the love in our hearts, that is the gift that sustains us from those who have passed on.
((Hugs))

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5 Beautiful Mess September 15, 2009 at 9:19 am

September 17th is going to be a happy day!

I didn't remember that quote in the movie until I read this. It's a very beautiful quote. Although, I've never experienced a loss like you have, I do find it comforting to read quotes such as that one. They always make me feel sad at first, but then once I think about it for awhile, I always feel better. I hope the love that you have for Molly and the love she has for you, will keep a smile on your face.
*HUGS*

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6 Katie September 16, 2009 at 12:16 am

ACK! This post made me cry. . . I have these feelings, too. As if the others hadn't died, then Will wouldn't be there. And moms just aren't meant to think like that.

And I am so touched that, in the middle of everything, you had time to stop by my verity mom application. YOU are an amazing friend.

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7 Annalien September 16, 2009 at 12:28 am

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. My prayers are with you. September 17th is going to be a happy day! God bless.

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8 K77 September 16, 2009 at 3:13 am

I've not seen Ghost in years, that quote made me cry though.

Thinking of you – September 17 WILL be a happy day!

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9 Lynn September 16, 2009 at 6:07 am

I'm so excited for you and your family. Can't wait to hear the news and see pictures. 🙂

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10 Jess September 16, 2009 at 9:10 am

Good luck tomorrow if you don't post before then/I don't get back before then! 🙂

September 17th IS going to be a happy day!

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11 Dana September 16, 2009 at 9:11 am

Today is one of my miracle babies birthday, he is turning 5! Thanks to ART he is here. Surviving the loss I had before him made my pregnancy with him beyond nerve-wracking but he arrived on the scene screaming with Hurricane Ivan screaming at the windows of the hospital. Instead of a storm it sounded like the universe howling with happiness along with me! Good Luck tomorrow, My thoughts will be with you imagining that screaming baby girl and the happiness your whole family will feel!

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12 Lynn September 16, 2009 at 11:11 am

Just wanted to send lots of good wishes to you for your delivery tomorrow!

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13 Rumour Miller September 16, 2009 at 11:57 am

I can't wait to hear all about it.

Long time reader 🙂

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14 Tash September 16, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Holy cow, I can't believe we're here already.

Thinking of you all this week.

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15 Katie September 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Kathy, tomorrow is going to be THE. HAPPIEST. DAY. EVER. I get tears in my eyes in joyful anticipation.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I am not sure when you will be able to update, but perhaps a family member could throw a quick announcement out to the world. We will be waiting to hear all of the good news!

Love, hugs, kisses, and prayers to your family!

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16 A Mom in Jacksonville, FL September 16, 2009 at 7:17 pm

The quote from "Ghost" is one of my favorite movie lines…but I had forgotten the "Molly" part at the beginning. How touching! I am pleased you were able to find the beautiful quote at a time you needed it.

My daughter's birthday is tomorrow. Here's to a happy and blessed birthday for your Sweet Baby and my Emma.

SO many of us are thinking of you. We'll be praying for you and your family tomorrow! Hugs!

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17 Julia September 16, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Kathy, I've been meaning to come by and comment ever since your Blogger Bingo comment. (BTW, congrats on the historic win, and glad to have been a part of that.)

I am a transplant, so the movie doesn't have the same cultural resonance for me. But I have to say that I hope and wish that the quote describes just the way it works.

And I wish you a nice and easy night and morning, and a most wonderful day, with more joy than you ever dared to imagine. It will be a little sad too, because yes, it sucks so very bad that all of our children can't be in the same place at the same time with us. And that's ok too. Which I am sure you know and don't need me to say. But I am anyway. 🙂

Sept 17th is a friend's birthday. And another friend's kid's. Hoping it works great for you too. Best of luck tomorrow.

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18 k@lakly September 16, 2009 at 11:00 pm

Just popping in to wish you the very best tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and waiting anxiously for the good news.
I can't believe it is here.
xxoo

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19 Kristie September 16, 2009 at 11:45 pm

Thinking of you, Bob, Sean, Molly and Baby Benson tonight. I am so excited for tomorrow. "Tomorrow is going to be a great day"

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20 Photogrl September 17, 2009 at 9:02 am

It's September 17th…

Thinking of you and your family!

((HUGS))

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21 SommerNyte September 17, 2009 at 10:03 am

Today is the day! Thinking of you!!!!!

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22 T-Mommy September 17, 2009 at 10:07 am

Thinking and praying for you today, hoping it will be a very happy day 😉

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