Missing Molly

by Kathy on February 11, 2009 · 7 comments

in Baby Benson, Bob, Healing, Loss, Molly, Sean

Sean and I were sitting on the couch in our living room a little while ago playing a computer game together on our laptop. At one point Sean leaned over and looked at a picture of Molly that we have framed on one of our side tables. He then said to me, “I miss Molly. If she hadn’t died we would have more company.” I told him that I miss Molly too. Then Sean said “I’m sad that Molly died.” I told him I was sad that she died too.

These are the conversations that break your heart as a mother and that I wish no parent ever had to have with their child. Sean hasn’t brought up his baby sister or wanted to talk about her in awhile. It is ironic that he mentioned her today, as I have been thinking about Molly a lot today too.

I hadn’t been to the cemetery in a few weeks (mostly because of the weather, we had a lot of snow here in Chicago until it melted recently when a warm front came through) and so I decided to go this morning (while Sean was at school). On my way there I stopped at Target and picked up a few things to decorate Molly’s grave for Valentine’s Day (pictured here). I continue to find it very therapeutic to be able to make my daughter’s grave look pretty. I often take pictures when I visit Molly’s grave, as I like to be able to remember how it looks at the current time in between my between visits. It is also nice to be able to show Bob and Sean in between their visits, as they don’t tend to go as much as I do.

Anyway, thank you for your comments on my last post about our pregnancy. One step, one day and one OB visit at a time seems to be the way to go. When I visited Molly’s grave today I asked that she please continue to watch over her baby brother or sister that is hopefully still growing and developing inside of her mommy. Thank you for your continued support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kristie February 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Sean is such a good brother. I bet it was so hard not to tell him the news. Happy 8Weeks 🙂

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2 Bluebird February 11, 2009 at 7:25 pm

I’m so glad that you can talk about Molly with her brother. What a precious conversation. He’ll love the new little one so much.

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3 Fertilized February 11, 2009 at 8:50 pm

He is such a sweet boy. You are an amazing mommie and Woman

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4 Cara February 12, 2009 at 8:04 am

Those conversations are heartbreakers! Bear and I had one just a few days ago…whew – I had a hard time holding it together until I got downstairs.

Sean, Molly, and this new baby. What a gorgeous family you and Bob are creating.

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5 T-Mommy February 12, 2009 at 9:12 am

Dear Kathy,

It always amazes me the great job you and Bob are doing at raising Sean. He is just the son all parents want to have but you and Bob have a lot to do with it.

It is incredible the way he handles things and how he has been processing, learning and gaining strenght with all you have been through.

I really hope that everything keeps going well with your new miracle and that “more company” fill your house in a few more months.

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6 InfertileMadWoman February 12, 2009 at 11:49 am

Happy 8 weeks!!

I gave you an award, pop over and get it!!

Rebel

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7 T-Mommy February 16, 2009 at 9:39 am

Thinking of you, wishing and praying for great news at your appointment today.

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