…at least for now.
It is with great joy, some fear and cautious optimism that I share with you the news that I am pregnant!
Yes, you read that right. I am approximately 6 1/2 weeks, depending on which dates you go by.
I have wanted to share about this here sooner, but I have just been so full of conflicting emotions and wasn’t ready, especially because it was (and still is) so early.
There is obviously a lot more to this story and I will share all of that in the days to come.
I am sorry if this is difficult or bittersweet for some of you (who are trying to conceive or have lost babies) to read. I will understand if you choose not to read my future posts about my pregnancy and I wish you the best on your journeys trying to have a baby and/or grieving/healing from the loss of your child(ren).
I also want you all to know that I am very aware that there are no guarantees in life, especially in light of our reproductive history (this is our sixth pregnancy and yet we have one living child). We are taking this pregnancy one step and one day at a time.
As I shared in a recent post, we were trying, but didn’t really think it could/would happen on our own (without medical assistance). Though I never gave up hope and I did believe it was possible. I recently re-read your comments on that post and found some of them to be somewhat foreshadowing of the current events in my life. So thank you for believing along with me!
A few quick details, as I imagine many of you may want to know them:
We are due on Bob & my 9th wedding anniversary September 23, 2009!
I have had two beta blood tests at approximately 16 days past ovulation (dpo) & 23 dpo. The level of hCG (pregnancy horomone) in my system those days were respectively 633 & 8,028. That’s a doubling time of 45.84 hours, which we and our doctors were pleased with.
We had our first ultrasound today and so far, so good! Our baby appears to be in my uterus (which was especially reassuring due to our past history of an interstitial ectopic pregnancy in November 2005) and measured 0.8 cm. We got to see our precious baby’s heart beating and it measured about 134 bpm!
As far as symptoms go, I am feeling very nauseous and fatigued. I also have been peeing a lot and my breasts are tender. Though some of these conditions are more challenging to live with than others, I am doing my best to welcome them as positive indications that our baby is growing and developing as it should.
For those of you we know in real life, if you are just learning this news now, I am sorry we didn’t get to tell you in person. We haven’t told very many of our family and close friends and we don’t intend to for some time. This is in part because it is so early and especially because if things continue to go well, we aren’t going to tell Sean about our baby for as long as possible and we don’t want our son to find out our news from anyone other than us. We appreciate you respecting our wishes and keeping this to yourselves. Of course you are welcome to contact us about it, but please don’t share our pregnancy news with others.
I want to be able to blog about my pregnancy in the days and weeks to come, as I know that even if things continue to go well, as I desperately hope and pray they will, it is not going to be easy for me physically and emotionally. This space has been invaluable to me over the past two years, since I began blogging, on our journey trying to expand our family and I want to continue to use it as an outlet to work through my feelings and experiences, as a vehicle to keep all of you updated on what is happening with our current pregnancy and as a way to connect with others who are also dealing with the joys and struggles of trying to grow their families and/or parent the children they have been blessed with.
Thank you so much for your support, encouragement, positive thoughts and prayers. I need them more than ever right now, as though I am very excited about this amazing new life growing inside me, I am also scared, knowing (unfortunately too well from our experience) what can go wrong during what starts out as seemingly “normal” pregnancy. I like to think that all of our angel babies, especially our baby girl Molly, are and will continue to be watching over our new baby and our family in the days, weeks and months to come. May God continue to bless you and your loved ones.