Joy is in the journey!

by Kathy on December 31, 2008 · 7 comments

in Bob, Healing, Molly, Resolutions, Sean, The Future

Can you believe it is New Year’s Eve already? What a year 2008 has been… Certainly not the year I imagined it would be around this time last year.

I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah and/or wonderful holiday season celebrating with your loved ones! Bob, Sean and I did have a really nice Christmastime with our family and friends, though it was bittersweet with out Molly. Most of our family and friends were sensitive to our loss this year, which helped to make getting through difficult and emotional moments over the past few weeks more bearable. I did my best to focus on Sean and his awesome excitement for Advent, Christmas and Santa and that helped me to remain positive through most of our holiday celebrations.

My sister and brother-in-law gave me a gift certificate for a Road ID as part of their Christmas present to me this year. It was a very cool and thoughtful gift, as now when I am out running or bike riding if I were to get in an accident, my Road ID will have information for first responders to know my name, where I am from and who to call in an emergency. Anyway, when I was ordering my Road ID the other day, after I had filled in all of the details for the first few lines, there was an option to put an inspirational phrase on the last line of the ID. There was a list of ideas/suggested phrases that I began to browse and when I found the perfect one for me, I didn’t feel the need to read any further. The phrase that caught my eye and really summarizes what I have learned this year and hope to focus on in 2009 is “joy is in the journey!”

“Joy is in the journey” really spoke to me, as over the past 4 1/2 years that we have been trying to conceive another living child, and really throughout much of my life, I have often gotten caught up in what’s next, as opposed to truly living in and trying to experience the present moment. The idea that true joy in life comes through appreciating the journey and not focusing on the destination resonates with me. In fact, the day before my family had gotten together with some close friends for our annual holiday gathering, during which we watch a video from the previous year’s gathering where we shared our New Year’s resolutions. Then we make a tape for this year in which we report back on how we did with our resolutions that year and share our goals for the year to come. Ironically, one of the resolutions that I made for 2009 has to do with trying live the moment more.

Our gathering in 2007 took place the afternoon prior to the evening when I started spotting with our pregnancy with Molly. It was bittersweet to watch last year’s video (which everyone said we didn’t have to do, if I thought it would be to difficult for me to handle, but I wanted to), during which we talked about how excited and cautiously optimistic we were about the new baby that we were expecting, as through that point in our pregnancy things seemed to be going well. There was much discussion about Sean being a big brother, as we had just shared the wonderful news with him two days prior, and my one and only simple resolution for 2008 was “to prepare for the baby!” I had spoken about how I wanted to make the transition for our family, especially Sean, as easy as possible. In reviewing my resolution for this year and how I did with it, we all agreed that I did do everything I could to prepare for the baby (Molly) and to help our family deal with what happened with our pregnancy, Molly’s birth and her death.

I spent a lot of time over the past week or so pondering what my resolutions might be for 2009. Here is what I came up with and I look forward to working on in the new year:

Kathy’s Resolutions for 2009:

1) For the way I live my life to reflect what I claim/believe my priorities are.

2) Transfer the self-discipline I have used to lose weight/get back in shape this year to other areas of my life where there are opportunities for improvement.

3) Knowing that Bob and I have a tentative plan this coming year for potentially expanding our family, try to have realistic expectations and turn the possible outcomes over to God — realizing what I do and don’t have control over.

4) Focus on the journey, instead of the destination.

Thank you for reading, for your incredible care, concern and support over this past year and I wish you and your loved ones much joy in your journeys in 2009! Happy New Year! 🙂

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kristie December 31, 2008 at 9:32 am

I love the quote! Your resolutions sounds perfect. I was thinking about you this holiday season.

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2 JuliaS December 31, 2008 at 11:10 am

What a nice thought – I think it is a perfect mantra for a new year, thank you for sharing! :0)

Good wishes to you this coming year – may it be full of wonder and joy!

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3 Martha December 31, 2008 at 11:24 am

That is lovely, Joy for the Journey. Much joy to you and yours in the New Year.

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4 Fertilized December 31, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Kathy, you are so inspiring!

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5 Leah January 2, 2009 at 9:11 am

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I’ve visited your blog before through various links related to your precious daughter, Molly. My heart broke for you then, and it still aches for you now.

I will pray that 2009 brings you peace and a fulfillment of your wishes for expanding your family — natural conception, FET, IVF or adoption. Happy New Year!

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6 T-Mommy January 6, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Dear Kathy,

You are true joy for a lot of us, thank you for being here, thank you for being who you are, thank you for sharing!

My BEST, BEST wishes for this coming year and a big hug to you!

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7 Esperanza January 3, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Here from the future. I have to admit, reading about you watching the video from 2007 brought a tear to my eye. I can't imagine how sad that must have been. You are a strong woman for revisiting that and then writing about it here.

I think focusing on the joy of the journey is such an important skill, one I'm not nearly good enough at. I hope I can continue to practice that skill – it will bring us all so much happiness.

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