How do you think about time?

by Kathy on June 3, 2008 · 3 comments

in Awards, Bob, CHD, Loss, Molly, Sean, Time

One of my new favorite blogs is I’m a Smart One… ( For those who may not be familiar with it, Kymberli is the author and has a compelling and inspiring writing style, not to mention life story. She is a wife, mother and 8th grade literature teacher, who struggled with primary infertility and after going on to have four amazing children, she and her husband feel their family is complete and so Kym went on to become a surrogate. How awesome is that?!

I came across Kym’s blog recently, when Katie at Taking the Statistical Bullet ( gave me a Pink Rose Award (thank you so much my dear Katie and I will pass it on soon), as Kym started this very special award!

Later on, when I went back and re-read comments on some of my posts from around the time Molly was born, I realized that Kym had actually been following and commenting on my blog (thank you Kym)!

Anyway, I haven’t felt like blogging much lately, as I have been trying to get our life “back to normal” and spending less time on the computer. Though I do miss Molly a lot and think about posting now and then, I also have been feeling pretty darn good both physically and emotionally and have been enjoying the energy that has seemed to give me (as my most recent post spoke to) and has allowed me to share with Bob and Sean.

Getting to my point, and I do have one, Kym had a cool post earlier today called “Clockwatchers vs. Calenderlookers” that really got me pondering how I and others think about time. Check out her post when you get a chance and let her and me know what you think.

Are you a Calender Looker, Clock Watcher or Moment Liver (I added the third option)?

Here is the comment I left on her post:

Interesting concept Kym…calender lookers vs. clock watchers. I was definitely a calender looker (to the extreme) before we had our now 4 year old son.

Once I had my first of three early losses (two m/c & one interstitial ectopic) and discovered we seemed to be dealing with some kind of SIF (secondary infertility), I guess I became more of a clock watcher.

Since our baby girl Molly was diagnosed with severe CHD in January and then was born and went to Heaven 14 minutes later (at almost 30 weeks gestation), in many ways I think I have become a “moment liver.”

Though I imagine in the days, weeks and years to come I will continue to go go back and forth between all three ways of thinking about time and our life/family.

I hope and pray that your clock watching and moment living go well until you get your next big call tomorrow (to find out the results of her second Beta for this, her second surrogacy experience)! And I also hope and pray that Mia’s (one of her “IPs” – intended parents) calendar looking comes to fruition in the year to come!

Thank you, as always, for your continued support, kind words, positive thoughts and prayers.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kymberli June 5, 2008 at 6:38 am

Kathy, I had no idea that this post was here! I was taking a look at my SiteMeter this morning and noticed that I had lots of referrals from your blog. I followed the link through to your blog (I wanted to check in, anyway) and was stunned to find that you’ve written this. Thank you, hun – you’ve moved me to tears. I read your comment when you posted it the other day and I’ve been giving that third viewpoint of moment liver a lot of thought. I like the concept. I think that after we get past the ultrasound, I’ll stop watching the clock so much and will be more of a moment liver and will strive hard to be a calendarlooker, but from a positive point of view. Calliope ( had a good post up the other day about letting things go. Between her post and your comment, I got the message that I need to try to let go of my IPs’ past history and not use that as measuring stick to determine how this pregnancy is going to go.

You’re an inspiration to me, Kathy!


2 Katie June 5, 2008 at 9:19 am

I echo Kym – you are most certainly an inspiration!

I understand your need to step away from blogging a bit. . . just know that we are always here.


3 Kymberli June 6, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Thank you so much for your support, Kathy. I think we’re all at a place where we are ready to accept whatever it is that comes next and just trust that whatever it is, we will be able to get through it. It’s odd – in light of today’s bad news I now find myself not watching the clock anymore. Things either will be or they won’t. It’s black and white. I’m not holding my breath waiting for that to happen. On Monday we will know. Today, tomorrow, and Sunday…well, oddly, I feel like I can just live these days knowing that on Monday we will know something more, and that in the meantime I will just be grateful for all that we do have (i.e. that Mia, Urs, and I have a wonderful relationship from which to draw comfort from each other), and grateful for the love I am surrounded with. I will just pray and know that God has a plan, and even if I don’t understand His will, I just have to trust that He knows what He’s doing and that we will all be okay in the end. That is what I pray for the most for Mia and Urs.


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