Frustration

by Kathy on April 7, 2008 · 8 comments

in Bob, CHD, FET #1, Molly, Sean

I just need to vent a bit, so thank you for indulging me…

Molly is still moving today and I think I find comfort and encouragement from that. I just had a rough morning emotionally. You know how you can be dealing with a difficult time in your life fine and then something happens that just kind of pushes you over the edge? A sort of tipping point?

Well, I dropped Sean off at preschool this morning and reported to our MFM’s office where I was going to be getting my Rhogam shot. I had the blood work done on Saturday, so it was suppose to be an in and out appointment, so I could get home in plenty of time to pick Sean up from school (which I still was able too in the end). Anyway, as I was checking in the woman who was handling the paperwork asked me if I was scheduled to come back on Wednesday for an MFM consult and Level II ultrasound at 10:00 a.m. and I said yes.

The woman explained that the MFM that we have worked with for most of our pregnancy, that we would prefer to meet with on Wednesday, is out of town and was due to fly back that morning on ATA. However, as many of you may have heard, ATA recently went bankrupt, so he had to get another flight on another airline and thus he won’t be back in time for that appointment. She asked if 1:30 p.m. would work for us. I immediately said yes, no problem. But then I thought about it some more and remembered that Bob has an important business meeting at work that afternoon at 2:00 p.m. (that only happens once a year, involves about 10 other people and has already be rescheduled a few times). I asked if there was any other time considerably later that day or Thursday or Friday and in a nutshell the answer was 1:30 p.m. or we would have to wait until Wednesday, April 16 if we wanted to meet with this particular MFM.

So I called Bob on my cell to explain the situation and as much as he said he wanted to be there with me, he really felt this was a meeting at work that he couldn’t miss. I totally get where he is coming from and the predicament he is in, but it was also hard for me to hear. I understand that he is not putting work over his daughter. He has missed A LOT of work during this pregnancy to be at every really important appointment we have had. His supervisor has been very supportive of him and what we are going through and has often encouraged him to take even more time off for things than he has actually done. But that said, I know that his job is important and regardless of the outcome of our pregnancy and whether or not Molly survives, he needs to have his job. So anyway, though frustrated, I said that we would work something out.

I told the woman checking me in that we would take the 1:30 p.m. appointment. I started tearing up and she seemed surprised, but was nice about it. She didn’t know the story with our pregnancy and I just explained that it has been a stressful pregnancy with a lot of complications and I was just frustrated that my husband had a work conflict with the time of the appointment on Wednesday, however we would still like to keep it and will figure something out. She got me some Kleenex and then it was time for my Rhogam shot. The nurse who was to give me the shot said she needed to take my blood pressure as a routine precaution before giving it to me. So she did and it was up a bit and I explained it was probably because I was upset, that I didn’t feel that way when I arrived. She understood and took it again on my other arm and it was still up. So then she gave me the Rhogam shot in my rear end, which was no big deal after all the Repronex and PIO shots I had during this and my other ART cycles, and then asked me to stay for about 10 minutes to see if my blood pressure had gone down. I was trying to relax, but just kept feeling more frustrated by the situation.

Meanwhile, I heard the nurse calling my OB’s office to let them know my blood pressure was high and ask what they wanted me to do. At that point I was in between laughing and crying at the situation, as I just wanted to get out of there and go home and have a good cry and try to resolve what we would do about Wednesday’s MFM appointment. Ultimately my OB told her it was fine for me to go home and that they would see me at my appointment with them on Friday.

Anyway, when it is all said and done it’s not the end of the world, one of my friends is going to watch Sean during the appointment on Wednesday afternoon (which I am grateful for and Sean will enjoy playing with her kids, as always) and I am hoping my mother-in-law (MIL), who is still at work right now or on her way home (she works part time in the morning), will be able to go with me to the appointment, as she has been to one other appointment with me recently (though it was more of a routine OB one). I would ask my parents (who are both retired), but they have a special event all day on Wednesday that they have been excited about for awhile, and they have been so helpful watching Sean and my mom going with me to many appointments along the way, so Bob didn’t have to go to all of them, that they deserve to be able to go to their event. If my MIL can’t do it, I will call my sister, who works during the day, but does so from home and says her supervisor is very understanding and supportive, and has offered many times to help if and when we might need her.

So I am sure we will figure this all out, I was just frustrated because I feel like if Molly makes it to Wednesday, the appointment could be an important one in revisiting her prognosis and in my ideal world Bob would be there with me to see and hear everything first hand. That said, as long as I have someone with me, to confirm what I see and hear and support me through whatever news we receive, I am sure I will be fine. Thank you for letting me vent and for your continued support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I am starting to feel better already, from working through my feelings here in this post.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Katie April 7, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Kathy, I completely understand that you would want Bob with you for such an important appointment. It is really too bad that the schedule worked out the way that it did. Is there any way that you could call the office back and either ask for the doctor’s nurse or the office manager? They usually have extra time built into their schedules for emergencies and such. This might not qualify as an out and out emergency, but it’s still worth a shot to see if they can’t possibly squeeze you in someplace else.

Reply

2 JuliaS April 7, 2008 at 8:22 pm

I hope everything works out for you with your appointment.

You have every right to feel frustrated and to be able to let off a bit of steam.

Reply

3 Kristie April 7, 2008 at 10:14 pm

(((HUGS))) Let it out that is what we are here for. I am sorry for the frustration and understand.

Reply

4 T-girl April 8, 2008 at 11:07 am

I really wish I could go into the monitor of my laptop and travel all the way to Chicago to be there with you!

I have a very special guardian angel and I have told him today to go and be there to support you during this difficult week.

A big hug!

Reply

5 Anonymous April 8, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Kathy, Hugs to you…I wish Bob could be with you as well. As always we are praying for Molly!

Deb

Reply

6 Dreams do come true April 9, 2008 at 8:30 am

It is truly too bad that Bob won’t be able to attend the appointment today. I will be thinking of you, and Molly!

Reply

7 Polka Dot April 9, 2008 at 1:21 pm

Just wanted to stop and leave a note that I’m thinking of you and Molly today.

Reply

8 T-girl April 9, 2008 at 6:01 pm

A bear hug for you and princess Molly today 😉

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

*

Previous post:

Next post: