One Totsicle! :)

by Kathy on April 26, 2007 · 0 comments

in Coping, Embryos, FET, Friends, Frozen Embryos, Healing, IVF, IVF #1, Planning, Relaxation, Sean, TWW, Waiting

I am now 4dp5dt (9 dpo)! Translation 4 days past 5 day transfer (9 days past ovulation). I called our RE’s office this morning to find out if any of our remaining embryos made it to be frozen and was told that one did! 🙂 In the world of IVF a slang term for frozen embryos is “Totsicles!” I thought that was too funny when I first heard them called that! We are happy to know that we were able to preserve at least one. We were certainly hoping for more, but do recognize that one is better than none.

I asked the nurse I spoke with what could happen if this cycle doesn’t work out. I wanted to know if she thought that the RE would recommend we do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) next with only one. I already had heard/read that sometimes the totsicles don’t thaw well and we could end up not having anything to transfer when the time came. The nurse said that often when there is only one frozen embryo that the RE will recommend patients do another fresh IVF cycle and then any leftover embryos that make it to be frozen would allow us to have more to work with in the future either for a FET, if IVF#2 didn’t work, or later on if and when we were ready to try again for another sibling for Sean and his younger brother or sister.

While I had the nurse on the phone I also asked how it works, from a scheduling perspective, going forward if this cycle isn’t successful. I have heard/read that some RE’s like patients to take a cycle off (have a natural cycle) before starting another IVF cycle. The nurse said that usually our RE allows his patients to go right back on the pill and start another cycle, if they want to and feel ready to try again. I was pleased to know that option would likely be available to us, if and when it were to become an issue. My last question for her dealt with when and how my period might arrive if we are not pregnant. She said there is a chance it will come before my blood test on Wednesday. However, she said if it appears to be starting at all before then not to stop my medications until we were able to confirm that I was not pregnant, as sometimes a woman can bleed and still have a healthy pregnancy. She also explained that if I have not begun my period before the blood test, and am not pregnant, that my period should start soon after I stop the Progesterone-In-Oil (PIO) injections.

I find a lot of comfort in knowing the answers to those questions, especially during this time of waiting to find out if our little embryo implanted. This is definitely one of the hardest “two week waits” I have every experienced. In all of our “natural” cycles I only knew that we had tried our best to time intercourse to ovulation and the rest was out of our control. This time we know there was an embryo put inside me, that I am taking a variety of medications designed to help my body believe that I am pregnant and to support the embryo if it is able to stick around. Overall, I have been able to remain fairly calm and I have tried not to think too much about whether or not it will work. That said, some days are easier than others.

Yesterday was one of the most emotionally difficult days that I have had during this IVF cycle. Up until this point I have prided myself on the fact that I have not been that hormonal, in terms of mood swings and such, throughout this process. I have tried very hard to get plenty of sleep and take good care of myself so that would happen as little as possible. Yesterday I guess my time had just come. The morning started off fairly well, though I was very uncomfortable physically (because the meds I am on can cause constipation). Despite my efforts to try to ward off that side effect through taking Metamucil and watching what I eat, I was very constipated and felt very bloated. Meanwhile, I was also crampy and my energy level was low. Late in the morning it was time to take Sean to his weekly swimming class. Though he has been lukewarm about the class, he seemed excited about it and cooperated in getting ready to go. When we got there I helped him take his clothes off down to his swimming trunks. He seemed enthused about getting in the water and kept asking if it was time yet. Then all of a sudden when the instructors said “okay kids come on over to the pool,” Sean refused to go over and get in the water! 🙁 It was so frustrating because I couldn’t lift him (I am not allowed to do any heavy lifting or straining right now, not over 5lbs. my RE said) and try to get him over to the pool that way. I also don’t really know any of the other parents, whose kids are in the class, well enough to want to explain my situation and ask for help. So I tried to reason with Sean calmly and even tried positive reinforcement (a.k.a. bribery), which has worked in the past when he has not wanted to participate. Unfortunately, he was determined not to swim! 🙁 So we put his clothes back on and went home.

I was very frustrated with Sean, but tried my best to keep it together. When we got home we had a quick lunch and I got him down for a nap. While Sean was winding down in his room, after story time and lullabies, I did some very low key restorative yoga in my room. I hadn’t done that in awhile and it did help to relax me and calm me down. After Sean was asleep I went downstairs and had a good cry. It had been awhile since I had done so and it was very therapeutic! I also listened to what I call my “healing” music mix and edited pictures. Both activities I find really calm and relax me. I put my healing mix together after my first miscarriage and have added other songs to it over time. The first few songs guide me through emotions of sadness and loss. I often cry while listening to them, but it is a great release. The following songs are about hope, hanging on and moving forward and the ones that bring up the end of the mix are inspirational and uplifting! Anyway, I listened to the whole mix and got a good amount of picture editing done, which I felt good about. I felt like a big load had been lifted afterwards. Sean took a solid 2 1/2 hour nap and when he woke up we were both in much better places emotionally. We talked about what we should do next and he said maybe play with some friends. So we called one of his best buddy’s mommy to see what they were up to. She said they would love for us to come over to hang out at their house and so we did! Sean had a blast playing with his good friend and his friend’s little brother! I also had a very nice time chatting my my good friend (his buddy’s mommy)!

Symptom watch: Yesterday morning I was very crampy, similar to how I was very early on when I was pregnant with Sean. I found that encouraging until the day went on and I realized that the crampiness was more likely of a sign of my constipation than anything else. 🙁 My breasts are not as sore as they have been, but they were never that bad when I was pregnant with Sean, so go figure. This morning I wiped a significant amount of cervical mucus that was mostly clear, but had a little bit of a peachy pink tinge to it. So one could interpret that to be remnants of implantation or a mucous plug in it’s early stages of formation! 😉 My energy level continues to be low and I did have another vivid dream last night! 🙂 So time will tell…

After lunch today I will be taking Sean to a new art class that he is going to try at a local children’s museum. He promises me that he will try it today, unlike swimming class yesterday. I do think he will really like it as it is called “Where the Wild Things Are” and it combines story time (using classic children’s books) with a corresponding art project each week. Sean likes to be artsy and creative! So maybe this class will be a better fit for him right now then his swimming class. One of Sean’s good friends is also going to be in the class which I think will be nice for him too.

Only 6 more days until we find out if Sean is going to be a big brother! 🙂 Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers during this time of waiting. It helps so much to know that so many people are pulling for us! 🙂

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