I have a love/hate relationship with gut feelings.

When they come over me, they are so hard to ignore.

I feel pulled to embrace them and yet struggle with other factors that play into my perspective.

Recently I learned that my friend Jen, from  Born Just Right, was getting ready to transition, from dying her hair, to gray. I was impressed and intrigued, but didn’t think too much about it until today. I saw pictures of Jen starting the process in my news feed on social media, with #JenGoesGray.

I couldn’t wait to learn more and see her after pictures!

I shared a picture and post on Facebook about what she is doing, which led to a great conversation with other women, close to my age (40). One friend talked about her experience with transitioning to gray over the past year. Another talked about how she has considered it too, but isn’t ready yet, as her hair has been connected to her image of herself for so long.

Jen also weighed in as to why she decided to go this route and what’s next, in terms of her transition.

Which left me with a yearning to do it. To reveal my shades of gray…

As I shared on Facebook, I have always had so much respect and admiration for women who go gray, closer to the time nature intended. This includes my mom, who embraced her gray, younger than most, when she was about my age.

Conversely, I was at a meeting recently with many women who are 55+ and noticed that they all still dye their hair. I was somewhat perplexed by this and came home and told Bob that though I wasn’t ready yet, I don’t want to be still be dying my hair 15-20 years from now.

Which leaves me with this nagging feeling…

Do I seriously consider starting the process of transitioning to gray now?

I have actually discussed this with my long time hairdresser in the past year. She answered my questions and is supportive.

If this is something you have thought about, are struggling with or embracing yourself… Please share!

As with so many things, I think this is a conversation worth having.

My friend, who did this in the past year, shared she doesn’t know anyone else our age who has gone gray willingly/intentionally.

How do you feel about fortysomethings going gray? Does your answer change depending on if we are referring to others/people in general vs. you?


This is 40!You are a wife.

You are a mom.

You are a daughter.

You are a sister.

You are a friend.

You are a woman of faith.

You are a group fitness instructor.

You are a health and fitness coach.

You are a writer.

You are a blogger.

You are living the dream.

In many ways you are where you hoped, imagined, and prayed you would be at 40.

But, life hasn’t been easy for you.

You have experienced the loss of loved ones more than you expected to by this time in your life.

You have buried a daughter and two close childhood friends, who were like sisters to you, in the past seven years.

You said goodbye to a generation that meant so much to you, over the past twenty, including all four of your grandparents, Bob’s grandmothers, and other dear extended family and friends.

You lost your first job in the working world, after dedicating three years of your life to that organization and the people there.

And you bounced back quickly, landing on your feet, with an awesome faith-based job in youth ministry.

Toddler KathyYou are an optimist.

You are a believer.

You never give up.

You are resilient.

You are a survivor.

Carpe Diem.

You have come along way from when you entered your thirties ten years ago.

You were the mother of a one-year old son, who had just experienced her first miscarriage.

You wanted a big party to celebrate your milestone birthday, but didn’t trust your husband enough to pull it off the way you wanted it done.

So you made the invitations yourself and micro managed other aspects of the planning, which was frustrating for Bob and for you.

It was a great celebration though! A fun time to be together with family and friends.

And little did you know what being thirtysomething would have in store for you… Such is life.

You’ve always had the best of intentions.

You’ve always tried to learn and grow from your experiences.

You’ve made mistakes, failed plenty, and that’s okay.

You are finally at a place in your life where you really get that.

Life isn’t about being perfect or living up to anyone’s expectations for you, even your own.

You are learning to be mindful and see people, places, and things for who and what they are.

You say, “it is what it is,” a lot.

You continue to try to accept the way your life has played out, celebrating how much you have to be grateful for and making peace with all that didn’t go as you hoped, dreamed, or planned.

As you go forth into this next decade, I wish you much peace, love, patience, and happiness!

I can only imagine where and who you will be ten years from now…

I believe that you will continue to try to be the best version of yourself, as you use everything that God gave you to make a difference in the lives of your family, friends, and others.

Cheers to 40 years! And many, many more…

My Fav Quote!


Anticipatory Grief

February 27, 2015

I was sitting across the table from her, in their kitchen. I asked how she was doing. She said, “really busy.” I said, “I know what you mean.” She replied, “I’m not sure that you do…” And then she told me. He got an amazing new job offer, the opportunity of a lifetime. High risk […]

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45 Seconds

February 23, 2015

If you watched the Oscars last night, hopefully you got to hear The Imitation Game screenwriter Graham Moore’s moving acceptance speech. I love this excerpt from an Entertainment Weekly (EW) article about Moore and his speech today: Backstage, Moore addressed what it was like for him to be so personal in front of a global audience. “The […]

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Grace and Decisions

February 12, 2015

We started watching Grey’s Anatomy not long after I came home from the hospital in April 2008. It was already four seasons in and somehow we’d never seen a single episode. My parents had a few of the seasons on DVD and we borrowed them. It was one of the first TV shows Bob and I ever […]

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February 10, 2015

It’s my word for today. Really, it should be my word for this year. It’s the thing I struggle with most as a parent. It’s also something that I need to focus on more in other areas of my life. From keeping our home clean and organized to my work as a health and fitness coach, […]

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