My London Semester Journal II: Sunday, March 31, 1996

by Kathy on August 27, 2024 · 0 comments

in Background, Before I Blogged, Family, Friends, Golf, Grief, London Semester Journals, Loss, Memories, Planning, Relationships, Travel, Vacations, Writing

Sunday, 3-31-96
4:00 PM On the Way Home from Our Road Trip (somewhere in Scotland or England)
9:00 AM E-Town

Back in the “Black Sheep”… That’s what we’ve named our rental car this weekend!

We are on our way home after a fabulous weekend which truly exceeded my (& I believe all of our) expectations! Ruth is riding shotgun while Alex is driving… She just broke us up when she asked him if it would be possible for him to “talk like a normal person!” ☺︎ She cracks me up & he just amuses me, he is so annoying — yet it’s entertaining.

Okay, getting back to St. Andrew’s! The starters agreed to my posing for some pics on the 1st tee in front of the Old Clubhouse, but said I would have to ask the older men on the tee if they would lend me a club! One of the men, Doug, who was a bit horizontally & hairline challenged — was especially friendly! He lent me a wood & took lots of pictures of me swinging & pretending I was really teeing off! We chatted for a bit & I had a caddy take my pic w/ Doug. I also got pics of the starters & some others teeing off.

Next I got the souvenir buying out of the way & picked out a baseball hat for myself & bag tags for Dad, Grandpa Jack, Uncle Bill, one of my cousins, Steve, Paul’s Dad, and myself! I also got some postcards! I took a great deal of time to pick out the perfect hat, tags, & cards! After I was content w/ my purchases — including an extra bag tag from the official shop where I got my hat (that I got w/ a free certificate from one of the starters ☺︎)!

Then I decided to wander around the Old Course! I wanted to see the holes (each which is named such as my favorite – – hole #4 “Ginger Beer”) & watch some of the golfers & talk to whoever’s paths I crossed…

As I walked & observed the amazing scenery of the Old Course I was overcome w/ an awesome feeling of peace & serenity! I could not have ordered a more “perfect day”… I spoke w/ every ranger that came along about the course, it’s patrons, each of their backgrounds and so on… very interesting!

I took many pictures (over a roll)! I felt a sense of connection w/ every person I came into contact w/ there — we shared a common bond & optimism… we were finally at the golf course of our dreams! I felt like my being there was very symbolic for my golfing family! I really hope dad gets there someday! ☺︎ I also wish Grandpa Jack, Uncle Bill, & my cousin could experience it too… I believe in someway Grandpa Robert saw it too & was with me in spirit! ☺︎

After my stroll about the course I went up to the deck of the new clubhouse & observed from there. I met a man in from of the clubhouse from Colorado — USA & had a nice chat. In my last hr. there I went to the British Golf Museum. It was cool & interesting to learn about the history of golf & St. Andrew’s Old Course! I could have spent more time there… but had to meet the “black sheep” at one & wouldn’t trade the 4 hrs. I spent exploring the course & interacting w/ the people I met there…

When I met up w/ Lori, Ruth, Nick, & Alex they had been into the city, gone for tea, and even met some 14 yr. (old) delinquents who had skipped school & snuck them into St. Andrew’s Castle! They had really enjoyed themselves & were happy to hear I had too…

We ended up driving from the Old Course hotel down along a little road near the 1st & 18th holes & parking while Ruth got some postcards. I got to sit in the car w/ the door open & stare at the course for awhile till all were ready to take off for Edinburgh! Ironically as I looked to the tee of the 18th hole the 4-some (including Doug — who I spotted right away due to a bordeaux sweater he was wearing) was teeing off that had been at the 1st hole when I had 1st approached the starters earlier that day… I got to watch them play their final hole, which seemed to bring my experience full circle! It was a sort of closure & I was really moved… I had an emotional reaction as we got ready to leave & was teary eyed from happiness as we drove away…

Lori was driving & we were all so content, we were listening to the soundtrack to “Trainspotting,” which has also been the soundtrack to our road trip this weekend! “Perfect Day” by Lou Reed came on & it was perfect! It captured the moment for all of us & a powerful moment it was… The natural scenery was amazing as we drove down to Edinburgh & I was even able to nap for a bit before our arrival! More later… CHEERS! ☺︎

Sunday, 3-31-96
7:00 PM En Route to London from Scotland
Noon E-Town

When we arrived in Edinburgh we parked at a public car park & got out stuff from “the black sheep” & found our hostel, “The High Street Hostel” on Blackfriars St., right off of High St. (which begins at the Royal Mile up at Edinburgh’s Castle and ends at the Palace). We checked in at the front desk & were assigned rooms & beds. The blokes in room 4 & the ladies in room 6. The bed I was assigned was the top of a bunk bed and called “Magpie!”

The hostel was very hip, as was the staff, atmosphere, etc. Ruth, Lori, & I dropped our stuff on our bunks & decided to walk up the block & check out the little gift & souvenir shops on High St.

Lori & I wandered into a souvenir shop while Ruth stayed outside & had a smoke. When we came out she was gone… this was the beginning of a long night of miscommunication btw. the 5 of us. Lori & I shopped by ourselves for awhile & I picked up a “Caithness” paperweight Jillian has asked me to pick out for her mother called “Flower of Scotland.” I spent a good amount of time trying to find a good one for her mom, but I didn’t mind, because I knew it would mean a lot to Jill & her mum! ☺︎

I met up w/ Lori in the shop where I got the paperweight & she was looking at a fancy alarm clock for her father.

We went back to the hostel at about 5:30 PM w/ intentions to rest up before meeting up w/ the rest at 6pm for dinner. But then we remembered we had to move the car from the lot to the St.! So we did so & then waited till 6:30 PM. No sign of Nick, Ruth, & Alex, so we (Lori & I) left `em a note to meet us back at 8 PM & we went to “Pizza World” for an all-you-can-eat buffet!

It turned out to be a really nice opportunity for Lori & I to hang out just the 2 of us… w/ her leaving on Tues., we began to reminisce & get all sappy… I got tears in my eyes & so did she.

Then Lori said she had wanted to ask me something for awhile now. She made me promise I would answer her honestly & know how much our friendship meant to her… She went on to ask me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding!!! I was so touched, honored, & beyond words… Wow! I said yes & we both got so excited! Mom & Dad will have to let me go now! ☺︎

She told me she’d been considering it for awhile & said we had gotten so close this semester & wanted our friendship to last… She said she could make my dress & it would probably be pink & look like the one Madonna wears in her “Material Girl” video! I still can’t believe she really wants me to stand up in her wedding! I never dreamed I would be a bridesmaid this early in my life… especially when I decided to study abroad!

She asked me not to tell anyone this weekend for she doesn’t like to be in the spotlight & felt she’d been talking about Cam & the wedding a lot this weekend. I had no problem w/ her request.

When we got back to the hostel we found a note from Nick, Ruth, & Alex saying they’d gone to a concert by the Scottish National Symphony Orchestra. They said they’d be back at 10:30 PM!

Lori & I were like “what?!” We didn’t understand why they would leave w/ out us! Holy miscommunication! So we got all pissed off & then realized we couldn’t do anything about it. So then we went for a little night walk around the city & got some good pics of the castle & Royal Mile at night!

When the rest finally got in we were annoyed & ended up having a lively confrontation. It was frustrating, especially listening to Alex’s controlling ways of trying to deal w/ the situation. But, finally we worked things out after sharing our feelings etc. We made plans for our day on Sat., had some wine Nick went out & picked up for all of us, & then bed.

We were fine by bedtime & all of us exhausted from the events & lack of sleep, were more than ready for some shut eye…

Sat. morning: Lori & I got up & had breakfast at the hostel for only £1.20! It included a big bowl of cereal, a roll, juice, & hot drink! Yum-yum! Then, as we’d planned the night before, we met the rest of the gang at the mall, in the center of Edinburgh, near these 3 funky statues! We had decided to go on a guided tour of the city & a great choice it was… as was Gilligan’s Island residents, we were supposed to go on a 3 hr. tour! Okay, cheezy analogy! The tour was awesome & very informative. But, I am getting car sick — so I’ll finish my account of the weekend later!

CHEERS! ☺︎
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Note from Present Day Kathy: It’s been three and half years since I shared my last London Semester Journal entry/blog post here. So much has happened since then — including my dad’s unexpected death on July 1, 2021 and my mom’s on July 13, 2023; starting my first full time job in the traditional workforce (after almost 18 years primarily being a stay at home mom) at Northwestern University as a Program Assistant with the McCormick School of Engineering (supporting two professional master programs — MLDS and MSIT) on August 2, 2021, and more recently a new role as a Career Advisor at NU with the Medill School of Journalism, Media, Integrated Marketing Communications on September 18, 2023; as well our family’s move from the Beverly neighborhood in SW Chicago (after living there for 19 years) back to my hometown of Evanston on March 5, 2022! Most of my writing/blogging here since my dad’s death, and more recently my mom’s, has centered around processing my complicated grief.

In July 2022, I felt moved to return to this London Semester Journal entry, which I have been working on (albeit very slowly) since the last one that I shared on February 24, 2021. My inspiration was the 150th British Open golf tournament that was being televised on NBC, from The Old Course as St. Andrew’s, in St. Andrew’s, Scotland, which of course called my experience visiting there in 1996 to my mind. It is especially nostalgic and bittersweet to revisit this entry, since Dad’s death, as he taught me to play golf and so many of my memories related to golf throughout my life include him. As I share in this journal entry, I thought Dad would love to experience St. Andrew’s for himself, and though Dad and Mom did make it to Europe, including the UK in their retirement, including England and Ireland, I don’t recall them going to St. Andrew’s and am not sure if they went to Scotland at all. I’ll have to check their scrapbook from their trip, which is one of the many beautiful things they left for us to keep in our “archives,” which I am currently the curator of. Also, last year (in April 2023) Bob and I watched the first season of a docuseries on Netflix called Full Swing, that profiles several professional golfers, and they actually covered the 150th British Open in it. So much time has passed, as I’ve been tinkering with this post, that we’ve actually also watched the second season of Full Swing (which came out on my birthday in March this year)!

So many things strike me about the way I described my life experiences in 1996, especially when I reflect on them now, over 28 years later, at age 49. One being my lack of understanding of neurodivergence. That being a concept which has become more mainstream in recent years and I cringe reading how I wrote about (not his real name) Alex being annoying and my friend (not her real name) Ruth giving him a hard time for not “talk(ing) like a normal person.” Though I understood mental illness and that not everyone behaved the same, for many reasons, I didn’t have the appreciation that I do today for the vast spectrum of ways that people think, feel, act and process emotions. I no longer believe there is such a thing as normal and try to embrace each person I meet/interact with for who they are at whatever age and stage of life they are at. That is easier said than done, for sure. However, it is something I continue to work on and strive for.

I love how I shared about hoping that, in someway, my paternal Grandpa Robert, who had died a little over a year before my experience that day, was with me there at the Old Course in spirit. I played golf at least five times in 2022, several more in 2023 and five times so far this year. Each time out I thought of my golf loving family members who have died, including my Grandpa Robert, Grandpa Jack, Great Uncle Bill, my dad and more recently mom too. Two of the times that I played golf in 2022, the weather forecast leading up to our tee times was questionable, indicating it might rain/storm. Both times miraculously (or so it felt) the winds changed and we were able to play with no interference from Mother Nature. I like the idea that Dad might’ve had something to do with that, though I don’t know that I really believe that is possible.

As I shared about in my journal entry, one of my most vivid memories from that day that we visited St. Andrew’s, Scotland is sitting in the “Black Sheep,” near the 18th hole of the Old Course, while waiting for us to leave and drive to Edinburgh. I recall being in the back seat of the car, with the door open and listening to the “Trainspotting” movie soundtrack, and hearing “Perfect Day,” which it really was/seemed to be at the time, as we drove away. Any and every time I’ve heard Lou Reed singing that song since, it brings me right back to that day and that magical moment.

There is so much more in this post that I find meaningful to revisit, especially when my roommate (not her real name) Lori asked me to stand up in her wedding that summer. Spoiler alert: my parents agreed to me going/being part of Lori’s wedding party! I think it may’ve involved a loan to cover the cost, as I already came home in debt to them for going over my semester abroad budget, in spite of my best efforts to live frugally, which I mostly did during my four months and six days across the pond. Lori made me the gorgeous pink and black satin dress, as she had described/imagined for me, and the wedding weekend in Kansas was such an awesome experience, during an already over the top year!

Lori and I kept in touch for several years and saw each other at least once more in person after that. Bob and I invited her to our wedding and reception in September 2000 and, if my memory serves me, though she RVSPed yes with her mother as her plus one, they didn’t make it. I think we lost contact soon after that. We reconnected about 4-5 years ago, loosely via social media, but haven’t had an in depth catch up, which I’d would love to do.

Fast forward to now, April 2023,,, then October 2023… then January 2024… then March 2024… then April 2024… and then (for real this time) August 2024! I had to laugh when I got to this paragraph that I stalled on a total of five times prior to this week — including twice in the month of April a year apart! One of the reasons I wanted to (finally) wrap this post up is that next month I will get to return to London for the second time since my semester abroad in 1996!

I went almost 24 years in between when I got to live and study there during my junior year of college and when I first returned in November 2019. Our family had planned to travel/spend the month of August 2020 in the UK and then the pandemic hit. Cancelling that trip was so disappointing and we’ve been slowly planning a revised, albeit a slightly shorter version, which we are now aiming for next summer (2025). So when the opportunity arose at work a few months back, through the Medill Travel Colleague program, for me to chaperone a Medill Explores: Global Digital Marketing in London trip with an awesome faculty member and 15 IMC students, I was all in! I’ll get to be there for 10 days/9 nights, including several days of free time for me to have adventures on my own and to connect/spend time with old friends who live in or not far from London. I am so excited!!!

I don’t know how long it will be before I share my next London Semester Journal entry/blog post here. However, as with so many things in life, doing them begets doing them. Since I really enjoy revisiting and reflecting on my experiences across the pond in 1996, I will aim to get back to this before another three plus years pass.

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Reminder: Unless I’ve been given permission to use people’s actual names, in most cases I’ve removed or replaced the names of the real people who were part of my journey/experience there, in effort to protect and respect their identities/privacy in my London Semester Journal entries. I will also not share details that I think and feel are too personal for anyone I interacted with, my loved ones, and me.

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Here’s the back story of My London Semester Journals from 1996, including what prompted me to revisit and decide to share them here in 2018. And here’s a list a list of the entries, which I will update as I share them.

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