“Life just goes on without them.” ~ Dylan Keefe

Three weeks ago today I wrote a blog post with that title, quoting the bass guitarist for Marcy Playground about his father’s unexpected death in 1995. I shared a link to it on Facebook and my mom commented that it was, “Beautifully written and insightful! 💕”

One week ago today, Thursday, July 13th, my beloved mom died, in the early afternoon, after being in hospice care for over 24 hours at Evanston Hospital.

Mom fell in her apartment on Tuesday, June 13th, followed by a brief hospital stay, and had been recovering in skilled nursing since then. On Wednesday morning, July 12th, Mom was rushed to the Emergency Room with signs of a possible stroke and things quickly took a turn for the worse. Although she did not appear to have had a stroke, her medical team determined there was internal bleeding, likely from an infection, and her death was imminent.

From there we switched to comfort care and our family gathered to be with Mom in her final hours. During that time Mom was surrounded with so much love. We reassured Mom, played classical music (which she often listened to), sang at times and did a lot of talking/reminiscing.

Though Mom was unconscious most of the time in her early hours of hospice care she often opened her eyes to familiar voices and sounds. We were able to connect with a handful of close family members and friends, who couldn’t be with Mom in person, via speaker phone. Miraculously Mom had about five hours of lucid moments off and on Wednesday evening, when she was able to say a few words and loosely communicate with us.

Mom recently told me that at 80 she knew she had lived a good life and felt somewhat ready when her time came. Mom’s Parkinson’s disease, along with other challenging medical conditions, made her life in recent years, months and weeks very difficult and painful. She also experienced so much joy and meaning from quality time spent with family, friends and caregivers.

We are feeling heartbreak, relief, sadness, peace and so much gratitude for the gift that Mom was/will always be to to us and so very many others. Mom/Grandma Jacquie truly was our sunshine and literally took her last breath while Meg, Gail and I held her and finished singing that song. It had popped into my head spontaneously moments before and it was an unbelievable way for Mom to go/for us to say goodbye.

We find some comfort imagining Mom being reunited with Dad, her parents, our baby/her granddaughter Molly, as well as other dear family members and friends.

As with my dad’s death two years ago, it was bittersweet and a great honor for me to write Mom’s obituary, with feedback and suggested edits from my sister Meg, husband Bob and dear family friend Sheila.

This was first shared on the Donnellan Family Funeral Services website, which is the funeral home that we worked with after Dad died on July 1, 2021 and we chose again to help us navigate the early days after mom’s death, including planning her wake/visitation and funeral. There was also a shorter version that ran in the Sunday edition of the Chicago Tribune. I will likely share more about those events here, including the eulogy that I gave at my mom’s funeral yesterday, as I know how much writing and sharing helps me to process grief and loss.

Jacqueline June Axe

September 22, 1942 – July 13, 2023

Jacqueline June Axe (nee Beisler), age 80, of Evanston, Illinois, died on Thursday, July 13, 2023. Beloved wife of the late Kevin Axe for 55 years; loving mother of Meg (Bill) Kenning and Kathy (Bob) Benson; proud grandmother of Sean, the late Molly, Gail, Cora and Dean; dear daughter of the late Jack and Dee (nee Hunt) Beisler; fond sister-in-law of Greg (Mary) Axe, Sheila (the late Pat) Quinn, Colleen Axe and the late Denny Kline; sweet aunt of many nieces and nephews; adored cousin and cherished friend of many.

Jacquie was born on September 22, 1942, in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania and lived most of her childhood in Marion, Ohio, where she met her future husband, Kevin. Jacquie graduated from Marion Harding High School in 1960, where she was elected to the Homecoming Court. She attended Bowling Green University for two years, where she pledged and initiated into Delta Gamma sorority. Jacquie then transferred to Ohio State University, where she received her Bachelor of Science in Education in 1964 and continued to be involved with Delta Gamma. During her last year at Ohio State, Jacquie taught sixth grade in the Parma, Ohio school system. Jacquie and Kevin married on December 28, 1965, in Woodbury, New Jersey. Jacquie taught in West Allis, Wisconsin, while Kevin was working towards his master’s degree at Marquette University.

In 1966, Kevin accepted a job as an editor with Claretian Publications in Chicago, best known for U.S. Catholic magazine and they moved to Evanston, Illinois, which they chose in part for its diversity. Jacquie soon found a job with Harper and Row (now HarperCollins) book publisher. Not long after, Kevin was drafted into the U.S. Army and served in Vietnam for a year. During that time, Jacquie moved to Woodbury, New Jersey, where she lived with her parents and taught school.

After Meg was born in 1970 and Kathy in 1975, Jacquie was primarily a stay-at-home mom. During those years Jacquie volunteered with the League of Women Voters and co-lead Meg’s Brownie Troop. As a teacher and avid reader, herself, Jacquie taught her children, grandchildren and so many others how to read, as well as to share her love for stories. Jacquie and Kevin lived on Keeney Street in south Evanston for nine years, where they met neighbors who became lifelong friends – enjoying many block parties, camping trips, New Year’s Eve parties and other holiday celebrations, as well as a monthly dinner group that Jacquie and Kevin kept up with for many decades and Jacquie still participated in up until her death.

Jacquie, Kevin and the girls moved to northwest Evanston on Isabella Street in 1979, where they lived for 40 years. It was there that Jacquie met more lifelong friends, two of whom she used to regularly walk the neighborhood with for 24 years. They covered many miles and every topic under the sun (as well as rain and snow), supporting each other through the roller coaster ride that is life, with so many plot twists.

When Kathy began kindergarten, Jacquie returned to school at National College of Education (now National Louis University) where she earned her Master of Education in 1984, with a concentration in Reading. From there Jacquie began a private home tutoring practice. Most weekdays after school Jacquie would tutor children, as well as some adults, in reading. When Kathy started college in 1993, Jacquie returned to the traditional workforce full time as a Reading Specialist with District 65 in Evanston. Initially Jacquie worked exclusively at Lincolnwood School and in later years split her time between Lincolnwood and Lincoln School. During this time Jacquie connected with her “Reading Buddies” (three fellow reading specialists) who then traveled to reading conferences together, enjoyed getaways at the Heartland Spa, annual trips to Hauserman’s for orchids, and more recently would meet up for lunch.

Jacquie always had a strong faith and was active in her church communities. She enjoyed participating in backyard masses with the PEG group and Meg was even baptized during one. Jacquie co-taught Religious Education classes to Meg, Kathy and many other children in the homes of fellow parents early on during the 25+ years her family was active at Sheil Catholic Center. In 2000, Jacquie and Kevin made St. Nicholas “St. Nick’s” Parish their new home and soon Jacquie got involved as a Eucharistic Minister, which she continued for over 20 years. Kevin and Jacquie joined a ReLent (faith sharing/Bible study) group that met annually during Lent, with other couples who became close friends, and she continued to participate through this year. When Jacquie retired in 2007, St. Nick’s benefitted immensely! She co-coordinated a very active Peace and Justice Committee for many years and was integrally involved in numerous very worthwhile endeavors: the Crossing Boarders prayers and education series, Women in the Diaconate, St. Nick’s List, Speak Out for Peace and Justice, and efforts at supporting Latino parents in advocating for themselves regarding bilingual program in District 65.

Jacquie enjoyed traveling throughout her life, including summer vacations in Ocean City, Maryland as a kid, where she later brought Kevin and the girls many times. In 1979, her parents retired to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Jacquie and her family visited and vacationed there every summer for almost 20 years and continued to return often after her parents died. When Jacquie and Kevin retired, they realized a lifelong dream to travel through Europe, including trips to England, France, Germany, Ireland and Italy. They also took a memorable train trip to several National Parks with close friends.

In 2019 Jacquie and Kevin moved to Three Crowns Park long term care community, where they lived for the last years of their lives. It was a wonderful place to be, with so many fun and interesting fellow retirees, especially pre-pandemic. After Kevin died unexpectedly in July 2021, one of the most meaningful experiences Jacquie had there was her weekly participation in a bereavement group meeting with fellow widows/widowers.

Jacquie was everyone’s biggest cheerleader and the kind of person who made you feel like there was no place/no one that she would rather be with when you were together. She was an incredible listener and conversationalist. Jacquie was a kind, compassionate and wise counselor, who gave great advice. Some of her go-to phrases that helped many friends and family navigate difficult and uncertain times in life included: “eat an elephant one bite at a time,” “let go of the dream that you had for loved ones and accept/meet them for who/where they are” and “feed the feeders.”

Jacquie loved classical music and fine art, with her favorite artist being Andrew Wyeth (she had many of his paintings hanging in her homes). She taught her children to appreciate paintings, especially impressionists such as Monet and Seurat, with frequent trips to the Art Institute of Chicago. Jacquie also enjoyed attending plays and musicals – Kevin and she were longtime subscribers to Steppenwolf Theatre in Chicago and in more recent years the Paramount Theatre Broadway Series in Aurora. When Kathy and Meg were growing up, Jacquie organized annual outings to whatever the hit musical was that year in downtown Chicago (including Les Misérables and Phantom of the Opera when they came for the first time). Just as Jacquie liked to introduce her children to things that she was passionate about, she also appreciated when they did the same. One of the most memorable examples being in October 2014, when Meg convinced Jacquie and Kathy to accompany her to a Pearl Jam concert. How many 72-year-old women are willing and able to attend a rock concert with their adult daughters?!

Jacquie was a lifelong learner who enjoyed participating in book clubs and discussion groups. She took many Northwestern Classes for retirees about a wide range of topics with Kevin and friends. Jacquie relished in being a grandma and was so creative with her four living grandkids. She loved reading to/with them, playing with them (hide and seek, playdough, coloring, dress up) and going to the park. After Jacquie and Kevin retired, they visited Meg and Kathy’s families weekly to spend time with them and help out.

Jacquie always tried to make her children’s and other people’s lives easier, and, in the last years of Jacquie’s life, her family and friends did their best to do the same for her. In 2011 Jacquie was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes (which she managed with diet and exercise) and later Parkinson’s Disease. This made Jacquie’s golden years more challenging, particularly the last few. Jacquie spent the last 28 hours of her life receiving hospice care, surrounded by loved ones determined to help her die in peace and comfort. Jacquie’s family and friends are feeling heartbreak, relief, sadness, peace and so much gratitude for the gift that she was/will always be to us. She truly was our sunshine and literally took her last breath while her daughters and one of her grandchildren held her and finished singing that song.

Visitation, Tuesday, July 18, 2023, 4:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. at Donnellan Family Funeral Home, 10045 Skokie Boulevard at Old Orchard Road, Skokie, Illinois 60077.

Funeral Mass, Wednesday, July 19, 2023, 10:00 a.m. at Saint Nicholas Church, 806 Ridge Avenue, Evanston, Illinois 60602.

To virtually attend the funeral Mass, CLICK HERE to access the live streaming.

Interment will be directly following the funeral at Memorial Park Cemetery, 9900 Gross Point Road, Skokie, Illinois 60076.

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Parkinson’s Foundation, https://www.parkinson.org/ or Three Crowns Park Foundation, 2323 McDaniel Avenue, Evanston, Illinois, 60201, (847) 328-8700, or https://threecrownspark.org/giving/.

Info: donnellanfuneral.com or (847) 675-1990