Tuesday, 1-16-96
8:06 PM London
2:06 PM E-Town
Didn’t get to writing in here yesterday… In the morning I had a very interesting International Business class. After class I went to the Birkbeck library & browsed & wandered… I realized through discussion w/ Nathan & Andrew (the somewhat clueless, somewhat cool Welsh guys Lori & I met Fri. at the club) this weekend that, outside of school, I read very little. The Oscar Wilde play “An Ideal Husband” inspired me to read one of his works, bu then I passed some Elizabeth Barrett Browning books of poetry & was drawn in… I ended up taking out 2 compilations of her letters & 1 of her books of poetry. I really enjoy reading the letters.
Then, in the afternoon, I caught up on some of my correspondence & then went grocery shopping at “Sainsbury’s.” Things have been kinda awkward between Lori & I since Sunday’s long day w/ Nathan & Andrew… We are relating better, but our friendship lost something. I personally don’t desire to spend as much time socially w/ her. But this may pass. I guess I really didn’t know her as I thought I did… I realize this now & take it as a lesson. I tend to attach myself to people — new friends quickly in situations such as this. I know this is common.
Last night for study break I went w/ Adam, Paul, & Erica to the “Churchill Arms” pub for a beer. I enjoy their company. Adam is a pretty funny guy & really likes attention. Paul is less outgoing, but is a real genuine guy, and is funny in his own way. Erica often seems older to me than 20. She is fun to hang out w/ & talk to.
Today I had my Modern British Society class which wasn’t extremely exciting… But I was able to finally log on to a computer and do e-mail! Telnet isn’t working, but knowing when I check tomorrow morning I could have mail is exciting! I wrote Mom & Dad, Meg, Gwen, Deborah, & Cheryl. But I misaddressed Deb’s, so I’ll have to write again tomorrow.
After class Jill & I went to daily mass at Newman House. It was nice & I really enjoyed Fr. Tim’s sermon on the readings. The 1st reading talked about how God looks at us differently than others do. “People look at our appearances. God looks at our hearts.”
He (Fr. Tim) encouraged us to do 2 things:
1) Recognize that God sees us for who we are & loves us unconditionally.
2) To try to see other people as God does, not to judge them till you know them…
There is a guy from U of I at Birkbeck named Dave Heron who I talked with today. He attends 4:30 PM mass at St. John’s often & we talked about churches here. I was pleasantly surprised to learn of his faith.
A guy named Matthew, that I sat next to on the plane from Chicago, asked me to go on a day trip to Oxford w/ him this weekend. I would like to go, but I am not sure if I would like to go this weekend or with him. He is a nice guy, but I just ate dinner w/ Adam & Paul who say he can talk your ear off & might take away from the experience.
Molly, the GR, just stopped by to see how everything was going. We got to talking & I asked how she & Will, the other GR here at Pembridge, met. She said in 7th grade, but they didn’t date till after their Sr. yr. in college. Reminds me a bit of the Ray & Margie story… Not that I won’t find “that special someone” in due time… But, stories like that give me even more hope! I suppose I am no hurry though… & on that note the words to a great Blues Traveler song called “Just Wait.” ☺︎
JUST WAIT by Blues Traveler
If ever you are feeling like you’re tired
And all your uphill struggles leave you headed down hill
If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you
And your appetite for pain has drinken it’s fill.
I ask of you a very simple question
Did you think for one minute that you are alone
And your suffering a privilege you share only
Or did you think that everybody else feels completely at home
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
If you think I’ve given up on you you’re crazy
And if you think I don’t love you well then you’re just wrong
In time you just might take to feeling better
Time is the beauty of the road being long
I know that now you feel no consolation
But maybe if I told you and informed you out loud
I say this without fear of hesitation
I can honestly tell you that you make me proud.
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
If anything I might have just said has helped you
If anything I might have just said helped you just carry on
Your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle
And your appetite for pain might all but be gone.
I hope for you and cannot stop that hoping
Until that smile has once again returned to your face
There’s no such things as a failure who keeps trying
Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
Just wait
Just wait
Just wait
And it will come
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note from Present Day Kathy: It’s interesting what vivid memories our brains hold onto, for whatever reasons. I can still picture walking through the stacks of books in the library that day and zeroing in on Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s letters and poetry. I read now, as an adult, more than I have ever in my life, mostly via listening to books on Audible, while I get things done around the house (such as laundry). I recall back then feeling pressure to read things for school, which was always more of a struggle for me vs. getting to read for pleasure. It’s that difference between the things we have to do vs. what we choose to do that continues to challenge me, even at 43, and I know so many others.
I also appreciate my commentary on how our relationships, especially friendships, grow and evolve, even through difficult times. Spoiler alert: my roommate and I ended up working through the tension we felt then and continued to become closer throughout our time abroad together.
I mentioned the Churchill Arms pub again in this entry and after my last post I looked it up online, to see if it still exists. I was excited to find that out it does! I definitely want to get there if and when I return to London someday, our family is still aiming for late Summer 2020.
I find it funny to read my descriptions of my experiences with email, especially knowing in it was in its early days/years of use. I had to Google what “telnet” meant, as I didn’t recall. Apparently it’s “a network protocol that allows a user on one computer to log onto another computer that is part of the same network,” which certainly makes sense/sounds familiar.
I continue to get a kick out of how I was navigating looking for “that special someone,” which was definitely a theme for me throughout my college years. I didn’t go to U of I to get my Mrs. by any means, but I was hoping to find love and someone to spend my life/build a family with eventually.
I am pretty sure I transcribed the lyrics to Just Wait by Blues Traveler by listening to the song from a mix tape on my Walkman, as there were a lot of scratches out and re-writes, a few mistakes (I had “your eyes no longer seem a struggle” instead of “your rise uphill may no longer seem a struggle” and “I hope for you and cannot stop that heartbreak” instead of “I hope for you and cannot stop that hoping”), and even some blank spaces where I must not have been able to tell what they were singing. Things have really changed, when it comes to stuff like that. Now we can just Google song lyrics anytime we are curious!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reminder: Unless I’ve been given permission to use people’s actual names, in most cases I’ve removed or replaced the names of the real people who were part of my journey/experience there, in effort to protect and respect their identities/privacy in my London Semester Journal entries. I will also not share details that I think and feel are too personal for anyone I interacted with, my loved ones, and me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s the back story of My London Semester Journals from 1996, including what prompted me to revisit and decide to share them here in 2018. And here’s a list a list of the entries, which I will update as I share them.
{ 0 comments… add one now }