Remembering Molly (10 years) ~ Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Happy 10th Heavenly Birthday, Molly Marie!

Double Digits.

Two candles (a one and a zero) this year at your grave, instead of on a birthday cake.

How has it been ten years?

So much time has passed since we held you.

So much time has passed since you left this world.

For so long, your short and very special life was the defining moment of mine.

There was the time before you and the time after you died.

And I would never be the same.

At this milestone, a decade since you were born and died, there have been other defining moments for me. Sometimes that scares me, Molly. I want you to be so much more than a faint memory, which of course you are.

As times passes, I know that it is okay.

It is okay for other major life events to be important. Not more important than you, but still pivotal for me, as well as for your Daddy, big brother Sean and little sister Abby.

It shows that, 10 years later, we are growing and continuing to make sense of our lives without you here.

At times Abby talks about how much she wishes you had lived longer, knowing you’d only be 18 months apart, how much she would love to have a sister to play with, similar to how she plays with her girlfriends. She adores Sean, but knows it’s not the same as having a living sister who is close in age.

Abby has some special relationships with friends/girls in our neighborhood who are a bit older than her, around 10. It is bittersweet to think about, when I see them chatting and having fun together, if you and she would be like that.

At 14, I still believe that so much of Sean’s compassion for and ability to empathize with others comes from our journey with you, when he was just a 4 1/2-year-old pre-schooler. Can you believe he is now in 8th grade, made his Confirmation earlier this year, and will be heading to high school in the Fall?!

In a few weeks Abby will make her First Communion, as you would’ve two years ago, and she is so excited! She is doing well in second grade, at the same school as Sean. We relish in having them together for this second and last year.

We went to mass, which was said for you on Saturday at 4:00 p.m., after visiting the cemetery, as we are blessed and lucky to be celebrating your birthday in the Mexican Riviera this year. It will be the second time your Daddy and I aren’t in town for your special day and the first for Sean and Abby.

And that’s okay too.

Life goes on.

Three years ago, when your Daddy and I also happened to be in Mexico on your birthday, we got up early to see the sunrise in your honor and memory. It was breathtakingly beautiful, as you were. We plan to do that again today, this time including your siblings.

When we take these special family vacations our family has so much fun and feels so awesome, just as we are. But that doesn’t mean we don’t think of you often and imagine our life, having these adventures, as well as day-to-day experiences, as a party of five.

We hope you and your Heavenmates are having a wonderful celebration today!