NIAW: You Are Not Alone Dealing with Secondary Infertility

As I sit and type this post, our 11-year-old son is doing one of his after school chores, unloading and loading the dishwasher, and our 5-year-old daughter is playing quietly in her room.

Really?

Seriously?!

Yes.

Is it always like this?

Of course not.

But I can honestly say I don’t take our children (both living and those who left this world too soon, including our Molly-girl) for granted.

Sean and Abby were born almost 6 years a part and in between Bob and I became very familiar with what it feels like to experience secondary infertility.

As with any trial in life, it can be hardest early on, before we realize how common what we are going through often is.

When life doesn’t go as we hope, dream, or plan, it can be scary and draining to navigate, especially if we don’t know others who have experienced something similar.

However, though we may not be connected with or aware of others who have faced the same challenges, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Sometimes we may just have to work harder to find them.

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

Regardless of what you are dealing with.

Odds are there is someone, somewhere, who had been in your shoes and wants you to know there is hope.

Hope doesn’t mean that we always get what we want.

But it can help us to survive, to find comfort, and joy when our journeys are difficult and uncertain.

Connecting with others via social media or in person, who have been through similar circumstances can be our saving grace.

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

What about secondary infertility?

I can’t promise you a happy ending.

That’s up to you.

But I can promise that there are so many families who have dealt with secondary infertility that found ways to resolve their situations.

Ultimately we all have to do what works for us.

We make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time.

And sometimes, we have to learn to sit with the questions.

Often there is no reason, no obvious explanation, why we struggle to have another child after giving birth to one or more healthy children.

And even if we do know why we are dealing with Secondary Infertility, that still doesn’t guarantee we will be able to have more biological children.

Adoption is certainly an avenue to consider.

Assisted Reproductive Technology is another way to try to expand our families.

But in the end it is your life, your choice, and your family.

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

Whether you end up raising an only child, a living child with one or more siblings who left this world too soon, and/or go on to have more children,

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

Whatever stage you are at in your family building, if you are comfortable being open about your experience with others, I encourage you to share with an open heart and mind.

You never know who you might be able to help, inspire, and give hope to.

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

Though I don’t believe everything happens for a reason anymore, I do find comfort and validation through sharing about my personal experience with secondary infertility and loss.

Knowing that in doing so I may bring comfort and hope to those in the trenches now, helps me to feel like my family and my suffering on our journey to expand our family was not in vain.

We are not alone.

You are not alone.

Thank you for reading this.

If you feel so moved, thank you for sharing it.

To learn more about Secondary Infertility, check out my Secondary Infertility resource page. It includes links to my past National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) posts about Secondary Infertility and many other articles about hope to cope with and support others dealing with Secondary Infertility.

If you want to find out more about infertility and/or learn more about NIAW, please check out these links: