Heavenmates

Today was a busy day. Abby and I picked up Sean at the bus stop after school and then headed out to their pediatrician’s office so Sean could finally get his H1N1 vaccination. On the way home we stopped at the cemetery to visit Molly’s grave. Being that it was a cold day and there was a lot of snow on the ground, I told Sean that it was fine with me if he wanted to stay in the car with Abby. However, he said he wanted to come with me to her grave, so we got out quickly to pay our respects, clean the snow off Molly’s headstone and check on the little Christmas tree we had placed at her grave last month, while leaving Abby cozy and warm sleeping in her car seat in our minivan near by. Anyway, as we approached Molly’s grave, Sean noticed the decorations on a relatively new grave to the right of hers. He commented on a toy truck that had been placed on the baby boy’s grave. I explained that Jorge (the baby boy’s name) had died this Fall (though there is no headstone yet, his family has placed a small wooden angel on his grave with his name and the dates of his birth and death) and was now in Heaven with Molly.

Then Sean said, “oh, so he and Molly can be Heavenmates!” He explained that just as we have roommates, classmates and/or playmates here on Earth, that he thinks that Molly can have Heavenmates in Heaven. Once again I just love viewing life through the eyes our six year old son. Sean went on to ask more questions about what I think Molly’s life in Heaven is like. I told him, as I always do, that I don’t know for sure, but that I like to believe that our baby girl is happy, healthy and surrounded by our family and friends that have also died and gone to Heaven. I also usually ask him what he thinks and always appreciate hearing his ideas about Molly’s life after death.

I continue to be consumed by caring for Abby (nursing her throughout each day/night, helping her to learn “healthy sleep habits” and starting to teach her about the world around her) and Sean (when he isn’t learning all kinds of new and wonderful things in Kindergarten), trying to find time to fit in some exercise (to start to get back into my pre-pregnancy and ultimately my pre-fertility treatment shape/clothes and to help me feel more like myself including my energy level and mood) and doing my best to keep our home in order (including making family dinners and such). Bob has been super busy at work, so that has added to our life feeling a bit crazy lately, of course having a 16 week old infant and a very active 6 year old are also huge factors. We are grateful that my parents have been willing and able to come down to our home one day each week to visit and help out.

Welcome to those of you who found my blog through the 2009 Creme de la Creme list! I look forward to checking out your posts and blogs in the near future. Thank you to those of you who have followed my blog for sometime for staying with me during this time of transition. My life continues to feel very surreal these days, but definately in a good way. Having an infant in our life and home again is extremely overwhelming, however I am so grateful for our new baby girl. Abby really is our dream come true and our family feels just right with her in our lives now.

Thank you for your continued support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I don’t know how long it will be before I find the time, energy and inspiration to post again, however it felt good to share with you some of my thoughts tonight. Take care and may God bless you and your loved ones today and always.