Missing Molly

Sean and I were sitting on the couch in our living room a little while ago playing a computer game together on our laptop. At one point Sean leaned over and looked at a picture of Molly that we have framed on one of our side tables. He then said to me, “I miss Molly. If she hadn’t died we would have more company.” I told him that I miss Molly too. Then Sean said “I’m sad that Molly died.” I told him I was sad that she died too.

These are the conversations that break your heart as a mother and that I wish no parent ever had to have with their child. Sean hasn’t brought up his baby sister or wanted to talk about her in awhile. It is ironic that he mentioned her today, as I have been thinking about Molly a lot today too.

I hadn’t been to the cemetery in a few weeks (mostly because of the weather, we had a lot of snow here in Chicago until it melted recently when a warm front came through) and so I decided to go this morning (while Sean was at school). On my way there I stopped at Target and picked up a few things to decorate Molly’s grave for Valentine’s Day (pictured here). I continue to find it very therapeutic to be able to make my daughter’s grave look pretty. I often take pictures when I visit Molly’s grave, as I like to be able to remember how it looks at the current time in between my between visits. It is also nice to be able to show Bob and Sean in between their visits, as they don’t tend to go as much as I do.

Anyway, thank you for your comments on my last post about our pregnancy. One step, one day and one OB visit at a time seems to be the way to go. When I visited Molly’s grave today I asked that she please continue to watch over her baby brother or sister that is hopefully still growing and developing inside of her mommy. Thank you for your continued support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers.