We have a tentative date for Molly’s birthday.

Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. Your messages and emails mean so much to us and help us to feel your love and support during this time.

I spoke at length with our OB early this afternoon and found out that Molly may not actually be delivered until Thursday (April 17). However, if at anytime I go 24 hours without feeling her move, we still would likely deliver her sooner. So if she continues to survive, the plan is Thursday. We don’t have an exact time yet, as our OB is still working with his colleagues to determine when everyone is going to be able to be there for my c-section that he would like to be.

One aspect of the delivery that may be a bit tricky is getting Molly out through a transverse (bikini line/horizontal) cut into my uterus, since her abdomen is going to be bigger than her head, due to her fetal hydrops. They and we would prefer they not have to do a classic (vertical) cut for the c-section, as though my future ability to sustain a pregnancy is not our primary concern right now, it is a factor that we want to be considered in the decision making process, related to the delivery, and classical c-sections can make future pregnancies more difficult. So as our OB explained it, he is going to try to arrange for the MFM specialist we have been working with to be there to work with him to deliver Molly. In order to get her out, they may need to use a needle to try to aspirate some of the fluid from her abdomen. By doing this her abdomen would become smaller, though it still would not make a difference in her prognosis and thus it would not be about trying to save her. He also made it clear that by doing the fluid aspiration, it might speed up the time it would take her to die and thus we might not get as much time with her alive, if at all, which we understand, but we still get that it might be necessary to be able to deliver her safely. We know that regardless of the aspiration she may or may not be born alive and we understand with her fatal prognosis; at this point the bigger issue is me, my uterus and my overall health/well being.

Originally I was scheduled to go in for an appointment with our OB tomorrow (Friday) morning. However, they moved the appointment back to Monday. He explained since I was just seen yesterday they don’t feel the need to see me again so soon and are less concerned about checking my blood sugar level (with my gestational diabetes) in light of Molly’s most up-to-date prognosis and the plan to deliver her in the next week. On Monday they should be able to give us more details, if not before, about the timing and plan for her delivery on Thursday, if she makes it that far. Our OB is very supportive of our compassionate care delivery wishes and assured me he will do everything he can to make it special for us, in terms of having as much time as we want with our daughter (whether or not she is alive when she is born) and allowing the bereavement photographer we are hoping to work with (either Todd Hochberg, from Touching Souls, if he is available, or we will try to get someone from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep) to be in the operating room when Molly is delivered to capture us meeting her for the first time.

So that is the latest. I am continuing to feel Molly move, so we will continue to take this one day at time, knowing that she will likely be delivered on Thursday at the latest. I did have the chance, while Sean was at preschool this morning, to touch base with our Pastor, our Parish Secretary, a local funeral home and the high risk labor and deliver chaplain at our hospital to update them about what is happening with Molly. I was especially touched that the funeral home will provide their services for free, in light of the situation. The funeral home owner/director also candidly shared with me that many years ago he and his wife lost a daughter when she was three days old and so he could relate to what we are going through.

Especially for those of you family and friends who are local and might be wondering, if we haven’t shared with you already… our plan after Molly has died and I am released from the hospital (after recovering from my c-section) is to have a private burial with our immediate family, within a day or so of my getting home. We will not have any kind of wake or visitation at the funeral home. Then probably 2-3 weeks after that, when I will have had more time to recover and we will have had time to prepare, we are going to have a more open/public memorial service at our parish church (most likely on a Saturday or Sunday). We know that Molly’s journey has touched so many people and your support over the past months has meant so much to us. Therefore, we want those of you who want to and/or are able to be here for the memorial service to have an opportunity to have some closure and help us to honor our daughter’s short, but still very special, life. As soon as we have set the date and time we will certainly let you know.

As many of you know, I am by nature a big planner and organizer, so looking into some of the details about how we can prepare for Molly’s birth and honor Molly’s life after she has gone to heaven, I am finding to be somewhat therapeutic, if that makes sense. It gives me a slight sense of control in a situation that overall I realize I have very little control over. Anyway, thank you for your continued support, encouragement, thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted. Take care and God bless.

Love,
Kathy

P.S. – I just realized that today is my first “blogoversary.” It can be mind blowing what can take place in one year’s time. This time last year we were in the midst of stimming for our first fresh IVF cycle. If you told me then where we would be now, I can only imagine what I would think, especially if at that point I could grasp what it would take (4 ART cycles) to get to our pregnancy with Molly, already knowing our journey that preceded us trying ART to expand our family.

Anyway, thank you for following our blog and walking with us over the past year, whether you have been with us since the beginning or just recently found your way here. I have learned so much from those of you fellow bloggers I have met along the way and am grateful for your friendship. I am so happy that many of those I first met through blogging, and then ultimately following your blogs, who too have suffered from primary or secondary infertility are now expecting your own bundles of joy sometime in the next year! May God continue to bless you and your expanding families.