2 years ago…

2 years ago today we lost our ectopic angel baby. We went in for a follow up ultrasound, a week after finding out that our little miracle had a very low heartbeat. We had been told to prepare to miscarry again (we had two previous miscarriages that year). When we arrived for the ultrasound, the first thing the tech said was that it’s heartbeat was strong! We were so happy! 🙂 But our happiness was short lived, as next we were told that our embryo had implanted at the opening of my right tube and was expanding partially into my tube and partially into my uterus. Very soon after this discovery I was rushed into surgery at our local hospital to remove our little angel.

Our OB/GYN thinks if our ectopic pregnancy had not been removed that afternoon that it would have ruptured within in days and the consequences, especially to me physically, would have been much more serious. He told me at a follow up appointment, after the surgery, that he believes in someways that our two previous miscarriages (which led to that pregnancy being monitored earlier/more closely than a typically pregnancy) serendipitously allowed for our pregnancy being ectopic to be discovered sooner and as dramatic as it sounds, may have saved my life, or at least kept me from needing a hysterectomy or some of the other horrible things that can happen to women who experience ruptured ectopic pregnancies.

When I awoke from the surgery I found out that they had to do a c-section to remove our baby, because it had grown so much that it could not be done through laproscopy alone. I was told that we would have to wait six months before we could try to conceive again. I also found out that they would never let me try to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section), which after giving birth to Sean via c-section was something I very much wanted to try to do with a subsequent pregnancy. My recovery was very similar to that of a c-section that one who has given birth experiences, except unfortunately I did not have a new baby to show for it. Our family and friends were extremely helpful and supportive in the days and weeks to come, which made our loss and healing (both physically and emotionally) more bearable.

It is hard to believe that two years have gone by since our third pregnancy loss took place and that we hadn’t been able to conceive again until now. It is important to me, as we approach our first ultrasound for our “overachieving embryo” tomorrow, that we not forget/honor the memory of our ectopic angel baby today, on the second anniversary of when s/he went to heaven. We feel so blessed and lucky to have another awesome miracle growing inside me and hope and pray that this little one will make it! 🙂

As I type this, Bob is relaxing in the living room watching “the game” (which is, for those who may not follow football, a much anticipated match up between two undefeated teams, which is rare for this point in the season, the Indianapolis Colts and New England Patriots). Sean is here in the office with me, listening to some of his favorite songs on the computer and coloring at his desk. Due to last night’s time change for “Daylight Savings Time,” we are all more tired than usual this evening and will likely turn in for bed on the early side.

Only 15 hours and 45 minutes until our ultrasound sound appointment, scheduled for 9:45 a.m. tomorrow morning!

Thank you for your continued support, positive thoughts, sticky vibes and prayers and especially for remembering our ectopic angel with us today.