Every night before Sean’s bedtime, after story time and before lullabies, we says prayers as a family. Sean has a pretty set way and order that he prays for his friends and family by name. Then when he is done, we end with any “special prayers” he or we might have that evening. Special prayers are sometimes for a specific person, maybe because it’s their birthday that day or because someone we know might be sick, and other times Sean prays for things he wants to do or to happen and places he wants to go with his friends or family. Anyway, tonight, out of seemingly nowhere Sean wanted to say “a special prayer for the baby.” He said something after “the baby” but we didn’t quite hear what. So we asked him what he said and he replied “the baby in your tummy Mommy!”
We explained that there isn’t a baby in Mommy’s tummy right now, though we would very much like for there to be. We haven’t told him about what we are doing with IVF or even said much lately about trying to have a baby, so it was pretty incredible that he came up with this on his own. He was talking at first about the baby being a girl and then moved onto how he would like for it to be a boy. The discussion went on for a little while and he wanted to discuss what we might name a baby that would come out of my tummy. First he suggested “Sean, like me!” he said. We explained that usually parents like to come up with new names for a little brother or sister. Then he suggested “David, like my friend Sofia’s baby!” We said that though we like that name too, since Sofia’s younger brother already has that name, if we had a boy someday we would probably choose a different name. We even talked briefly about names that we like.
We didn’t want to make a big deal about the conversation, but we also didn’t want to down play it either, as it clearly was something Sean wanted to talk about and we wanted to honor that and be as honest with him as we could be, without getting into too much detail, while trying to keep the discussion “on his level.” At one point he wanted to know if Mommy had a baby if it would be “a boy or a gwirl (as he pronounces it)?” We explained that God decides that and it would be a surprise. We told him that if and when Mommy had a baby in her tummy we probably wouldn’t find out until the baby came out of her tummy. Sean said that he likes surprises and was so excited to find out! We then reminded him, that Mommy didn’t have a baby in her tummy right now and that if she did anytime soon that it would be awhile before it came out. At that point in our discussion Sean seemed content with our answers and apparently didn’t have any more questions, so he said “Amen!”
After I sang lullabies, we gave hugs and kisses and said goodnight and left the room, Bob and I looked at each other and were pretty blown away by what had just happened! We know that Sean would like “a baby,” just like so many of his good friends have “their babies” (as he refers to their little brothers and sisters, even though many of them are as much as 2 years old already). But we try not to talk about it much, unless he brings it up, which is rare, because we don’t want to get his hopes up. After we had our third pregnancy loss in November 2005 (the interstitial ectopic one), Sean had a hard time getting over the fact that “his baby” went to Heaven and wasn’t in Mommy’s tummy anymore. It took about two months for him to stop talking about it off and on and thus we decided this time around we will wait longer before we tell him if and when I get pregnant.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this sweet conversation we had with Sean before his bedtime tonight! Sweet dreams to you and a very happy (almost) Mother’s Day to all of you Mommies out there reading this!
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