Cutting to the Chase

by Kathy on January 11, 2016 · 16 comments

in Anticipation, Cancer, Coping, Courage, Cysts, Faith, Fear, Hope, Life, Music, Odds, Optimism, Reality, Time, Ultrasounds, Waiting

On Friday I will have two biopsies done on my left breast (one toward the bottom and the other in my armpit).

The results will be available on Monday or Tuesday next week.

Six months from now I will also return for a mammogram of my right breast, due to calcium deposits.

This was not what I was expecting at my follow-up mammogram today.

My first/baseline mammogram was last Thursday, because I turned 40 last year.

Many people told me not to be concerned if I got called back.

So I wasn’t.

Now, I am (at least a bit).

They assured me that if things looked worse, they’d have gotten me in for the biopsies today.

So there’s that.

The ultrasound tech told me there’s about 95% chance that this is not cancer.

I’ll take those odds.

However, having been on the extremes, on both ends, with odds and rare situations, I realized they don’t always mean very much.

So, now I wait.

And am okay with that.

As okay as I guess one can be in this situation.

The older I get, the more I accept that this kind of news is part of being an adult.

My loved ones and I will deal with whatever happens.

Likely, the biopsies will be benign and I will move forward, having good baselines for both of my breasts.

If one or both comes back otherwise, so be it.

It’s gonna be a long week and not just for me.

I have another loved one in my life who also had a routine procedure not turn out as planned recently.

And now they too are waiting for additional testing to determine what’s next.

In the meantime, we ask for your positive thoughts and prayers.

As always, your support means a lot to me, and processing my experiences through writing brings me comfort.

I will share more, when there is more to share.

I may even share more anyway.

Until then, I hope this finds you in good spirits and this new year treating you well.

This song has been running through my mind all day, so I thought I would leave you with it. I found this live version on YouTube and may even like it better than what she originally recorded in the studio.

An old and dear friend sent me a private message this morning, via Facebook, reminding me to “Be Brave.”

Thank you, friend. xoxo

I was, I am, and I will continue to be, whatever happens.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 apluseffort January 11, 2016 at 2:12 pm

Oh, Kathy. I am so sorry you’re going through this too. I know how this feels– you read the statistics and they are good, but you and I have both been on the crap side of statistics too often to feel much comfort in that. My experience with the breast surgeon a few weeks ago was mercifully fast. I had an ultrasound and it took her only seconds to say “this looks like a big cyst with another cyst behind it.” The biopsy didn’t hurt much – the needle was fine at first and just started to hurt some as she wiggled it around to drain the cyst. I hope yours is also easy and good news. I’ll be thinking of you.
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2 Kathy January 11, 2016 at 2:35 pm

Thank you so much! xoxo And thanks for sharing your recent experience. That brings me comfort during this time of waiting.
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3 Catwoman73 January 11, 2016 at 2:23 pm

Oh Kathy, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Thinking of you and sending lots of loving prayers your way.
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4 Kathy January 11, 2016 at 2:37 pm

Thank you! xoxo
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5 loribeth January 11, 2016 at 2:33 pm

So sorry the first results weren’t better, Kathy… I’ll be thinking of you & praying the biopsies come back clear (((HUGS)))
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6 Kathy January 11, 2016 at 2:37 pm

Thank you, Lori! xoxo
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7 Kim January 11, 2016 at 5:06 pm

I know its one thing for them to warn you ahead of time and another thing to experience this. BTDT. Its scary! Spend time with friends an family and bask in the good vibes coming your way from all around.
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8 Kathy January 16, 2016 at 11:23 am

That is true, Kim. Thank you so much for your good vibes and suggestions. xoxo
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9 Dana January 11, 2016 at 6:03 pm

Hey Kathy, I think that I am just an older version of you, so you got this.

We both had our children pass at birth, we both have a love for family and Christ, we both love Shakeology (lol) and we both have lumpy boobs. I have had 9 surgical biopsies in every area of a boob you can have a cyst. Mine were never fluid filled so I could not have a needle biospy. If cancer was scaled 1-10 mine have always come out a 2 or 3. I just refer to it as hardening of the teats. After, I had to go every 6 months for mammograms, which always un-nerve one.

I, of course, can make no predictions as to the outcome but what I can say is that you will be around many long long years.

I don’t know about you, but I found myself making deals with the Lord. I know that is not how it works but mentally it worked for me. I felt if I kept my end of the deal then the Lord would keep his end and He did. 🙂

I acknowledge you and your nerves/ups/downs that go with all of this.

Much love to you, xoxo, praying always.

Dana

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10 Kathy January 16, 2016 at 11:26 am

Oh, Dana, we do have a lot in common, don’t we?!

Mine were core biopsies as well, not the fine needle kind.

And as for making deals with the Lord, I’ve been down that road many times in the past, with our secondary infertility and loss journey. However, at this point in my life, I consider all of this more just part of be an adult and will take whatever happens as it comes.

Thank you so much for you love, validation, and prayers. They mean so much to me, as do you!
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11 Mel January 11, 2016 at 7:34 pm

Oh hon, holding you in my heart as you wait for the all-clear.
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12 Kathy January 16, 2016 at 11:26 am

Thank you, Mel. I really appreciate that and you. Hoping and praying for the all-clear as well. xoxo
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13 Lori Lavender Luz January 12, 2016 at 9:17 pm

Kathy, I’m abiding with you. It’s a different kind of Wait than we talk about in the infertility community, but no less difficult to get through.

I wonder if you know I went through this recently? Here’s my post, more on how I processed things than on medical stuff (spoiler: it’s all good). http://lavenderluz.com/2015/07/follow-up-mammogram.html

I’ll be thinking of you the rest of the week and waiting to hear from you again. You’re surrounded by love and light, from all directions. xoxo
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14 Kathy January 16, 2016 at 11:28 am

Thank you so much, Lori. xoxo And you are so right, it’s different, but not any easier.

I did not know you went through this recently. I am sorry it wasn’t on my radar and thank you so much for sharing your experience. I read your post the other day when you commented and will return to revisit it today.

I really appreciate your thoughts, love and light. I will keep you posted.
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15 Justine January 15, 2016 at 9:05 pm

Somehow I missed this post earlier in the week … I’m sorry that you’re going through this! (I had a call back from my mammo, too. It was scary, even though I wanted it not to be.) Waiting and abiding with you, and holding you close in my heart.
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16 Kathy January 16, 2016 at 11:29 am

Thank you, Justine. xoxo
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