The older I get, the more people I care about who die, the more the balance seems to be shifting from most of my heart and mind being in this world to more of it being in the afterlife.
My loved ones and I have experienced a lot of loss this summer. I get that comes with age. Yesterday along with many others I learned of actor and comedian Robin William’s death. I also heard that he is suspected to have taken his own life.
This morning, while riding home from my in-laws lake house, I found myself looking at the sky and wondering. I tried to imagine what it must really be like “up there,” in Heaven, or wherever the souls of those who go before us are.
I pictured my friend who died in June and Robin Williams meeting there and sharing about their lives, their struggles and hopefully the peace they feel now.
Am I sad when people die?
It’s not something that we ever really get used to.
But I guess I question WHY a lot less than I once did.
I believe that we have free will.
I believe that there is no such thing as normal.
Normal is relative.
Normal is an illusion.
Some days are easier to get through than others, especially for those (of us) struggling with mental illness.
People take their own lives.
Other loved ones.
Others in the public eye.
But, it’s not about us.
There is nothing we could have done.
Is suicide preventable?
When someone takes their own life, should we feel guilty, as if we could have stopped them?
It is natural to feel that way?
We’re still here.
Now they are not.
What are we supposed to do with that?
As I heard recently, sometimes we have to learn to sit with the questions.
Sometimes there are no answers and there never will be in this lifetime.
What can we do with our pain?
How can we begin to process and make peace with such tragic loss?
Remember what made our loved ones (both ones we knew personally and those who were larger than life) so special to us.
Think about the ways they touched our hearts and made us better people for knowing them.
We are here.
They are there.
We can’t change that.
However, we can make them proud with how we live going forward.
They will always be in our hearts and on our minds.
May they rest in peace there.
May we find peace and comfort here.